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QHi, Ex-Bitter. I’m a third-year associate at a mid-size Midwestern firm. I do mostly transactional work but occasionally pitch in on pro bono litigation, which I like. While the firm I work for was not my first choice, I’m thankful to have the job and generally enjoy the work, which these days involves more and more client interaction.
Here’s my problem. When I took the job I didn’t do what us lawyers call “due diligence.” I saw a job opening, the work fit what I wanted to do, and I applied. I’ve now learned in the last three years that the managing partners are very conservative and somewhat connected politically. Actually, it took me about the first few months to realize how conservative, though politics are not really an issue in the office. The other day, though, I was with three other attorneys and told them where I worked. One of the lawyers said “Oh, you work for the pro-life firm.” I said I hadn’t heard that before. Internally, though, I knew it was pretty true.
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CLEs are like a cyst that you don’t take care of. At first, it seems like nothing—a glorified zit—so you just ignore it for a few years and hope it will go away. But the more you ignore it, the bigger it gets. Eventually, it becomes a serious problem. Mine is now stage-four and can only be removed by showing up for a bunch of BS classes. That’s assuming I don’t want to risk being put on “inactive status.” And while “inactive” sounds pretty cool, I unfortunately think it’s something like when a cop shoots an old lady 44 times because he thought the can of tuna fish she was holding was a gun—also known as suspended without pay!!
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Watch the rest of the Bottom Rung, including character sketches of the dreamers, gunners, and lifers that make up document review.
On my last day as a BigLaw attorney, I sent a firm-wide farewell email. It read: “Today is my last day. It has been an honor to work with such an amazing and diverse group of people. Thank you to everyone who has made my time here so enjoyable. Please be in touch.
What I really meant was:
Today is my last day here. I’d like to specially thank the following people who have helped make my time here so memorable.
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A couple nights ago as I was leaving the law school (around 10 pm; it was an early night) I ran into a friend who was cleaning up after the Moot Court Honor Board’s contract competition and we killed a few minutes catching up on each others’ lives current courses. She gushed about how great her courses were, and I followed suit. Around the point where I was raving about my Estate Tax class, I paused and asked if she was often still in the building this late. And then she said it. “Well, yes, but it could be much worse, so I’m happy.”
Now, I’ve thought the same thing to myself hundreds of times, but hearing it from someone else tripped a switch. I realised something. There’s a term for being happy on the basis that things could be worse: Stockholm Syndrome. But that’s what happens in law school. Maybe it’s a second-career thing. I mean, it could just be my own fault for having had such a stressful life before.
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Is it beneficial to amaze your professor on the first assignment in a trial skills or other law school performance class? Or is it better to make a mediocre first impression?
Relationships can be difficult. Let me rephrase that. Relationships are difficult. Especially for those in the legal profession who are often working more than 60 hours each week with barely enough leftover time to fulfill individual vices, let alone attempt to woo a cutie with a booty. Even for those individuals who currently have a significant other, relationships can be difficult to manage. Are lilies her favorite flower? Milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Do I ask her to be in an open relationship or do I just cheat? From the courting stage to the first date to the “Facebook Official” to the (likely eventual) breakup, problems can arise. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.
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Put your lawyerly wisdom to the test and post a comment below or on Facebook with a witty, hilarious, or brilliant caption to this stock image. And keep it clean(ish) and, y’know, respectful.
The editors’ pick will be announced next week.
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