January 2009

13comments

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture? Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about swearing in of the King.  And keep it clean(ish). The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, February 7th. Editors’ Pick (Jan. 24-30): Non-racist attempt at humor: [...]

Bitter News, 1-31-09

by Bitter Newsroom on January 31, 2009 in News

Post image for Bitter News, 1-31-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom: The woman who ran Eliot Spitzer‘s favorite call-girl ring got six months in prison.  A Manhattan federal judge lightened the sentence on Cecil (Katie) Suwal because of the “Svengali-like power Emperors Club VIP boss Mark Brener once had over the 24-year-old.” An indication being her label-her-like-sports-equipment “Property of Mark [...]

Bitter News, 1-30-09

by Bitter Newsroom on January 30, 2009 in News

Post image for Bitter News, 1-30-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom. Time.  Money.  And maybe too much of a correlation between the two.  It seems as if the billable hour is as good as dead, and law firms just need to learn how to deal.  [The New York Times] Blagojevich lost his job by a smidge.  A huge, gaping, massive, [...]

11comments

Bitter Factoids 2

by Bitter Staff on January 30, 2009 in Columns

Here are 12 compelling facts from Bitter Lawyer.  We leave the opinions up to you. $182,500 Amount a Houston lawyer lost to a Nigerian email phishing scam according to Texas Lawyer. 10 Number of unanimous Supreme Court opinions issued so far this term according to Legal Times. $34,664 Median salary for U.S. paralegals with less [...]

Bitter News, 1-29-09

by Bitter Newsroom on January 29, 2009 in News

Post image for Bitter News, 1-29-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom. In ghosts of creative collaboration past, John Landis, who co-wrote and directed the groundbreaking video “Thriller,” is suing Michael Jackson.  He claims MJ lacks the rights to adapt the 14-minute video in a Broadway show.  And if someone’s gonna “thrill ya, thrill ya tonight,” he wants his cut.  [Associated [...]

26comments

BigLaw Sexy Beast

by Matthew Richardson on January 29, 2009 in Columns

Normally, one of my favorite parts of this tremendously rewarding profession is the closing dinner. Fancy meal at a top-notch steak joint. Six to eight dirty martinis (do I count the ones that end up in my lap?). Maybe even a redux of a sex romp I had at the last closing with a random [...]

Bitter News, 1-28-09

by Bitter Newsroom on January 28, 2009 in News

Post image for Bitter News, 1-28-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom. Do you know what, other than your ass, is growing at four times the rate of inflation?  Attorneys’ fees in bankruptcy cases. Lawyers at Kirkland & Ellis are charging as much as $18.50 PER MINUTE.  Now even going broke is unaffordable.  [Bloomberg] “From the ‘Any jokes I would make [...]

23comments

Of all the things about this firm that make me writhe with discomfort and despair, perhaps the most notable is the Women’s Initiative.  I can say with great conviction that I would rather trade places with a paralegal, and spend my days doing whatever the hell it is paralegals do, than join that miserable group.  [...]

Bitter News, 1-27-09

by Bitter Newsroom on January 27, 2009 in News

Post image for Bitter News, 1-27-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom. “Brazil” has some dirty talk for you: Tax evasion. Stanford Law grad-cum-professional escort, Cristina Warthen, pleaded guilty in federal court for not letting Uncle Sam in on some of that action.  She got three years probation and a $313K fine for being naughty.  [San Francisco Chronicle] It’s a hard-knock [...]

37comments

I’m a Miracle Paralegal

by Ex-Bitter on January 27, 2009 in Columns

Post image for I’m a Miracle Paralegal

Paralegal advice for one of the world’s great paralegals from an Ex-Bitter.