March 2009

3comments

Bitter News, 3-31-09

by Bitter Newsroom on March 31, 2009 in News

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom so bamboozling we’re getting our own trading card:

In these “biblically bad” times, The American Lawyer culled down its annual list of 25 lawyers who were the “Dealmakers of the Year.” And it’s a sausage fest.  Topping the list is Sullivan & Cromwell’s H. Rodgin Cohen who last year advised Fannie Mae, AIG, Lehman Brothers, Barclays, JPMorgan Chase and your mom.  He said he’s still worried about the banking industry—but willing to accept major bank to help out wherever he can.  [Law.com]

64% of law firm partners believe legal business will drop even more over the next six months.  But bankers are really feeling something special around the corner.  [Legal Times]

A 22-year-old law student is icing the hell out of Madoff’s brother, Pecker Peter.  [Bloomberg]

You can’t rewrite history, but you can rewrite contracts these days.  Remember how AIG was obligated to payout those millions of dollars in employee bonuses?  Well, it’s inspired employers to find ways to legally overhaul (or plainly not honor) the contracts of middle-class workers.  Hooray for firemen!  [The New York Times]

Primo hedge fund manager and gluttonous world spender, Andrés “Tanning Oil and Fresh Ocean Breeze” Piedrahita, lost $6.9 billion in Madoff’s $50 billion Ponzi scheme. And now Mr. Piedrahita finds himself in a legal pickle as Spanish prosecutors investigate what he knew about Bernie’s fraudulent funds when he sold them to Spanish clients (“Senior Madoff es el hombre!”).  He’s also the target of at least three class-action suits filed by angry investors in the U.S. who say he was grossly negligent in investing their money with Mr. Madoff.  But isn’t Mr. Piedrahita really just a victim like anyone else?  [Wall Street Journal]

It’s all fun and layoffs till sh!t really hits the fan.  Forced exits have decimated Fried Frank’s softball team.  “It became clear that Fried Frank would no longer be this year’s league favorite. Six starters had fallen victim to the downsizing, including two first-year associates from softball powerhouse UVa Law. The present and the future of Fried Frank softball was toast.” [Litination]

The Monty Python comedy troupe is turning 4o, so they’re planning a six-part play-on-words series to air called Monty Python: Almost the Truth (The Lawyer’s Cut).  Because lawyers always get a cut.  [Broadcasting & Cable]

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

16comments

Could you please let me know whether I would be committing career suicide if I didn’t invite any of the partners I work for to my wedding?  Alternatively, if I do invite the partners that I have the most dealings with, would I be offending the other uninvited partners?  I haven’t been working here for very long, but I do hope to stay at least until the credit crunch is over…

Don’t invite any of them.  It’s your wedding.  Have fun and don’t worry about the partners.  Truth is, you’re doing them a favor.  Despite your understandable wedding myopia/self-absorption, they don’t want to go to your damn wedding.  Trust me.  Inviting them might actually increase your odds of getting prematurely laid off.

Good luck—and don’t forget to sign a prenup.

Got a question for Ex-Bitter?  Email it to .

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

1comment

Bitter News, 3-30-09

by Bitter Newsroom on March 30, 2009 in News

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as tender and revealing as a Gisele Bundchen interview:

What’s the best way for a young lawyer to make a name for himself in Washington?  By attempting a media bidding war for an unconfirmed tape of the Vice President/Drug Czar creator’s daughter enjoying some cocaine, of course.  Tom Dunlap, who represented the owner of the purported Ashley Biden snow-blowing footage, has backed out—likely when he realized the outrage was aimed at him and few cared to make an offer. Now if she were doing it while screwing Rick Salomon, then maybe he’d have a payday on his hands.  [New York Daily News]

Ironically, a man named Rich Gold is the head of the most successful practice area in Holland & Knight’s DC office.  [Washington Post]

Hey, ladies, I’ve got a sexy, single, cop-beating lawyer.  He’s not entirely housebroken, but he hasn’t been convicted of rape either.  Interested?  “A Boston lawyer who was acquitted of rape charges after being named one of People magazine’s ‘Most Eligible Bachelors’ faces trial on charges of hitting a police officer who confronted him for allegedly urinating in public.” [Boston Herald]

Aside from their new Final Four status, UCONN has backed its team with new legal representation amid alleged recruitment violations.  If only there weren’t an age limit banning high schoolers from going straight into the NBA maybe?  Well, you at least never hear about this type of crap in the world of tennis. An age ban may have never given us Anna Kournikova[Am Law Daily]

A surly teenage dropout was ground down by the justice system enough to become a lawyer.  “To cap an amazing transformation, Symko was sworn in by the same jurist before whom he had appeared more than a decade earlier for some of nearly a dozen misdemeanors.” And…they look alike.  Weird.  [Detroit Free Press]

Politicians are known to lie to the public.  But should those guiding the public around the history of politics be restricted from misinforming?  Tall tales face off against the facts in Philadelphia as tour guides sue the city over a history test job requirement.  [Wall Street Journal]

Can you buy Matthew McConaughey as a shirted criminal defense attorney?  He’s taking the title role in an adaptation of Michael Connelly’s 2005 novel The Lincoln Lawyer. [Zap2it.com]

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

15comments

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this photo op.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, April 4th.

Editors’ Pick (March 21-27):



Craig: “Can you say ‘sexual tension?’”

2comments

Bitter News, 3-27-09

by Bitter Newsroom on March 27, 2009 in News

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that you should hurry up and read before Earth Hour:

Imagine you’ve had a wonderfully enjoyable night of genital mutilation and being whipped like a bitch when something bad happens—your trusty dominatrix, her husband and several lawyers use your identity to be a straw buyer in a $50-million mortgage fraud.  Now that’s a real kick in the nuts.  [Newsday.com]

Commenters debated whether a hypothetical BigLaw partner’s $2,000,000 salary is “fuck-you rich.” And compared to Google’s chief legal officer David Drummond’s $450,000 salary, it is.  But then you factor in his $1.38 million bonus, $3.29 million in stock and option awards and nearly $11.9 million by exercising options and stock awards, and, well, I guess his F.U. bark is a little bigger.  And why’s “Drummond” such a rich name anyway?  [ABA Journal]

Smoking is bad for your health.  But it can sometimes be good for your career.  Kirsten Gillibrand, who now occupies Hillary Clinton’s U.S. Senate seat, spent most of her career limiting the evidence the government could obtain about smoking heath tests while working at Davis Polk defending big tobacco.  That led to nearly $20,000 in campaign donations from tobacco executives.  And her former colleagues at Davis Polk have no problem throwing her under the bus for it for being the defense linchpin.  [The New York Times]

Again, can we please stop acting like getting paid by your law firm to not work at your law firm is such a bad thing?  [Time]

Madoff ain’t no saint, but maybe lawyers should have tapped into their fiduciary responsibility a little better.  Don’t think you have to be a good trustee?  Just ask Peter Madoff, Bernie’s brother, who’s being sued by a law student for an alleged breach of fiduciary duty for investing in his broseph’s Ponzi scheme.  [Boston.com]

Wayne Anthony Ross, “one of the last of the Teddy Roosevelt BullMooser’s,” who’s a former VP of the NRA, anti-abortion and been knighted by the Vatican was nominated by Gov. Palin to be Alaska’s new attorney general.  Oh, and he’s a republican.  Wasn’t sure if that needed mentioning.  [Anchorage Daily News]

Here’s something annoyingly cute: Law school is the perfect setting for novel writing!  [JournalNow.com]

This final link was sent via my mom with a note saying, “Do not laugh or make nasty remarks, it could happen to you.” I guess she means my non-existent ex-husband will be my only port in an economic storm.  But a cautionary tale nonetheless.  [CNN.com]

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

Don’t worry, our Twitter ghostwriter quit a long time ago.

And in case you missed any hoops action last night:

9comments

“Are we dangerously dependent on Wikipedia?” a recent Salon.com article asked. It’s a fair question. A Wikipedia article of dubious origins ranks high on Google results for just about any topic. Which is why this edition of factoids is dedicated to the unidentified armies of Wiki editors who have set their unfiltered sights on BigLaw. These nuggets of wisdom may not be facts in the pure sense of the word, but they are treated as such, for better or worse.

1.  Big and Firm

“The largest law firms have more than 1,000 lawyers. These firms, often colloquially called “megafirms” or “biglaw,” generally have offices on several continents, bill up to US$750 per hour or higher, and have a high ratio of support staff per attorney. They can, and in some cases do, litigate every issue, burying their opponents in a blizzard of paper in the process; the result has been a kind of legal ‘arms race’ where every large corporation tries to retain the services of the biggest law firm they can afford.”

[“Megafirms” section of Wikipedia: Law Firm]

________________________________

2.  Skadden, Australia, Sniff, Mark & Blow

“Mark L. Bronson, a real estate partner in Skadden’s Tokyo office, died on November 21, 2007, at Brisbane airport in Australia. Bronson suffered a seizure while being detained by customs officials on suspicion of cocaine possession. He had been stopped after drug-sniffing dogs raised suspicion. He reportedly also coughed up plastic in his vomit, suggesting he may have ingested a bag of cocaine to avoid being caught.”

[“Controversies, scandals and entanglements,” Wikipedia: Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom]

________________________________

3.  Above the Law’s Best Angle



“Hi xxxxxxxxx. Much thanks for your message! I am a huge fan of Wikipedia (and got to meet Jimmy Wales once, which was awesome). Keep up the great work!

I’ve attached a photograph of myself, which I release into the public domain, and which you can use for my Wikipedia bio. xxxxxxxxx.

xxxxxxxxxx.

Once again, thanks for both contacting me and for all your contributions to a great resource!

Best, David”

[“Text of email” section of Wikimedia Commons: David Lat]

________________________________

4.  Doc-ing Points

“Pros: low-intensity effort, relative lack of responsibilities, perks may include free or subsidized meals and car service (depending on the law firm and the client).

“Cons: long hours (sometimes considered a plus in terms of maximizing income), relatively tedious, little or no opportunity for advancement.”

[“Pros” and “Cons” section of Wikipedia: Document Review]

________________________________

5.  Non-Lawyer, Non-Loved

“Unlike nurses and physician assistants, paralegals have not caught the popular imagination and rarely are seen or mentioned in fictional or non-fiction legal television programs, or in legal fiction in print. There are however exceptions.

The most famous is probably Erin Brockovich, a real legal clerk whose participation in a toxic tort case became a major motion picture.”

[“Paralegals in television and literature” section of Wikipedia: Paralegal]

________________________________

6.  Race and Gender Unaccredited

“The ABA has been criticized for perceived elitism and overrepresentation of white male corporate defense lawyers among its membership.”

[“Criticisms of the ABA” section of Wikipedia: American Bar Association]

________________________________

7.  Jonesing for a Fight

“In September 2008, Jones Day began a lawsuit over the website Blockshopper linking to their own website while discussing condo purchases by two of the firm’s associates. The suit argues that linking to their site in this matter dilutes their service mark. This is seen by some as an abuse of trademark law and potentially harmful of the concept of linking…

“In February, 2009, due to mounting legal costs, Blockshopper settled the case, requiring it to change the way the links are presented so as to not show the corporate URL on the linking page. The case and settlement are considered to be a potential violation of SLAPP laws and also run against precedent set in prior cases regarding deep linking.”

[“Controversy” section of Wikipedia: Jones Day]

________________________________

8.  Mo Nicknames, Fo Problems

“The official firm nickname, approved in 1973, is MoFo, which is also commonly used as an abbreviation/euphemism for motherfucker. As of February 28, 2005, however, the firm has returned to the more conservative Morrison & Foerster, although MoFo is still used as the firm’s url: mofo.com.

“During the dot-com era of the 1990s, when it was fashionable for American companies to appear irreverent, the nickname was prominently featured in the firm’s advertising, both online and offline. It gained further notoriety through a bit by Jay Leno on The Tonight Show. Leno joked that the firm’s clients could shout, ‘Get me my MoFo lawyer!’

“Additionally, the popular home game Trivial Pursuit has a question and answer circulating in current versions asking what four-letter nickname is used by worldwide law firm Morrison & Foerster. The answer, of course, is ‘MoFo’.”

[“Nickname” section of Wikipedia: Morrison & Foerster]

________________________________

9.  Fraudulent Bon Vivant, LLP

“Dreier operated like a business and not a partnership. Mr. Dreier was the sole equity partner owner and controlled all of the firm’s finances and handled all administrative functions. There was no executive committee and no partners meetings. All deals were structured so that only he knew all the specifics and had access to all accounts. Dreier convinced lawyers that such an arrangement was best by emphasizing that it would allow them to concentrate on law, while he worried about running the firm. He hired lawyers on three-year contracts, fixing their salary and paying bonuses based on the fees each lawyer brought in. According to court filings, some lawyers received more than $50,000 in salary every two weeks.”

[“Dreier LLP” section of Wikipedia: Marc Stuart Dreier]

Got a fascinating factoid to share? Of course you do. Email us at .

Check out other lists, tallies and scores to settle in Bitter by Numbers.

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter

Bitter News, 3-26-09

by Bitter Newsroom on March 26, 2009 in News

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are circumcised for your protection:

“A Madison County judge has ruled it was not illegal for a man to ask to tickle kids.” Because thems ain’t fightin’ words. Charles Douglas had been charged for blindly asking parents at a park if he could perform his Tickle Monster routine.  Which is creepy.  And while I’m not sure about a Tickle Monster, I know a Tickle Panther goes “Coochie, coochie, coochie,” and then mauls your face.  [Chicago Tribune]

Dreier is losing his ass…ets.  A recovery expert has identified at least $100 million (of the $400 million he allegedly defrauded) of cash, yachts, homes and art worth safeguarding. But they’ll all be depreciated for having that musky, filch-y stench.  [Associated Press]

They’ve only been able to find $250 million of the $8 billion in asset R. Allen Stanford Ponzi-ed away.  [Bloomberg]

The diary of a Cadwalader lawyer might privately read (paraphrasing), “Manny Ramirez is rich. I hate him because he’s lazy.  I wish I could nail Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie like Brad Pitt.  They’re so fine.  Forget the Hollywood salary, I’d do them for beyond free.” But who needs “Dear Diary” when you can just posted it to the firm’s website instead.  [Am Law Daily]

Are there clients more cringe-worthy than people who sue God?  Also, “@” doesn’t translate into Mandarin.  [Canpages.ca]

Send in the clowns! Broadway “Showboat” producers may go to jail for 14 years.  [The New York Times]

Sext me this: Is the underage, erotic, mobile image-transmitting craze child pornography or self-expression?  The ACLU is going after a judge who offered two girls a 10-hour course on the dangers of sexual violence.  [ABA Journal | The New York Times]

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

18comments

Post image for Robert Parker: Vintage Lawyer

Name and current title?

Robert M. Parker, wine critic and founder of eRobertParker.com.

That’s a cool title. But what do you really do? What’s a day in the life of a wine critic?

I have been a full-time wine critic since 1983. It is hard to describe an average day. Approximately three months of the year are spent visiting wineries abroad and in the United States. Of the other nine months, probably a total of two months is spent tasting wines in my office’s tasting room. The rest of the time is spent documenting the tasting notes, writing my reports for my journal, The Wine Advocate, and writing whatever book I am working on for my publisher, Simon & Schuster. I have written 14 books, and a 15th is in the works, which is essentially a new book every two years.

Until I brought on a few colleagues a number of years ago, I tasted a minimum of 10,000 wines per year. Today it is closer to 5,000-6,000 since I no longer visit or taste wines from the regions for which my colleagues are now responsible. My job requires a great deal of discipline as well as very focused tastings—and an enormous amount of passion and energy. More than anything else, my passion and energy, in addition to the fact that wine is so diverse and fascinating, explains how I have survived for thirty years doing this.

Where did you go to Law School? Did you make Law Review?

I went to the University of Maryland undergraduate school as well as the University of Maryland School of Law. I graduated in the top third of my class, but I wasn’t Law Review material.

What kind of law did you practice?

Between 1973 and 1983, I practiced as a corporate banking lawyer, specializing in the Uniform Commercial Code and Bankruptcy Law. In 1983, I retired fully from the practice of law. I worked that entire time for the Farm Credit Banks of Baltimore. This was primarily an agriculture bankruptcy and uniform commercial code law practice.

Did you like being a lawyer?

I never felt totally comfortable as a lawyer, and my primary interest, even prior to law school, was the study of wine and how compelling this beverage could be. While it’s easy to say I wasn’t happy as a lawyer, that’s not totally true. Law school deserves a great deal of credit for the success I have enjoyed in the field of wine. The difficulty of the studies, the discipline required, the deductive way of thinking, and the comprehensive, detailed, meticulous research required of a lawyer have all been applied over the last thirty years in evaluating and studying wine.

In addition, the 50-100 point scoring system for which I have become so well known was used at the University of Maryland Law School. Ironically, I had dinner with the dean of the University of Maryland Law School recently, and she informed me they have abandoned that system. However, I don’t intend to do the same since I believe it makes the writer very accountable, and when accompanied by thorough, meaningful tasting notes, it offers a purposeful guide for the wine consumer.

How did you transition from law to wine?

I was never quite sure how to make a living by writing about wine full time. When I launched my guide, The Wine Advocate, in 1978, most wine writers were actually part of the wine trade, or existed because of the largesse of the wine trade. The idea of an independent publication with no advertising and working separate and apart from the wine trade seemed somewhat far-fetched. I began by mailing out 2,000 free copies of the first issue to wine retailers in the Baltimore and Washington, DC areas, began receiving paid subscriptions, and slowly but surely gained credibility.

When you left the law, what did you drink to celebrate?

I remember exactly the day I left my job as a lawyer to launch into what seemed to be an uncertain career in the field I loved. My wife bought some filet of sole from a local fishmonger, and I splurged on a bottle of 1976 Dom Perignon champagne. We sat on the floor at the coffee table in our tiny apartment outside of Washington, DC, listened to music, savored the champagne, and enjoyed the filet of sole with almonds that she prepared. It was a celebration I will always remember.

Were you always fond of wine?

No. I did not know anything about wine until around age 20. I am the product of a middleclass farming family that never consumed wine, so I was never exposed to it as a young person. Certainly in college I partied, but the drink of choice was primarily beer and strong alcohol.

In 1967, I temporarily dropped out of undergraduate school to visit a girlfriend (now my wife of nearly 40 years) who was studying abroad at the University of Strasbourg in France. She was from a more sophisticated family and insisted that I drink carafe wine at the different bistros we visited. I began drinking wine on a daily basis, and even though they were a lot less prestigious and expensive than the wines I drink today, I found them to be fascinating beverages of moderation that were low in alcohol, complemented the food, promoted conversation, and prolonged lunch or dinner. I fell in love with this beverage, and when I returned to the University of Maryland in January 1968, I started a wine-tasting group at the school. My increasing fondness and passion for wine has led to a long, very successful career.

Are people actually born with a “great palate?”

There have been studies done that show people to have what they call “super palates,” but I have never taken the study and do not know whether I have one or not. I do have a very strong sense of smell, which has remained acute and powerful throughout my life. My father also had a great “nose,” so I probably inherited that. I tend to subscribe to well-known writer Malcolm Gladwell’s theory that there is a 10,000 hour rule, which suggests that after 10,000 hours of doing anything, whether it’s practicing the guitar, cooking, or tasting and studying wine, you become quite competent at what you’re doing.

I had immersed myself in this field long before I left the practice of law and began writing The Wine Advocate. I think part of it is just practice, practice, practice, immersion, immersion, immersion, and trying to be objective and open-minded about the multitude of wine styles that exist throughout the world. That in itself probably explains why most people think I have a great palate. While it’s probably not any better than the average person’s, I have worked harder, immersed myself more, and constantly thought and challenged myself on all aspects of wine.

Is it “work” for you to drink wine?

I actually have a very bipolar view of wine. When I am tasting professionally and visiting wine estates throughout the world, I am very focused on spitting, not swallowing, and I am able to maintain a razor-sharp mentality. At the same time, I love wine as a beverage, and I drink it almost every day with my meals.

I can easily turn off the analytical faculties and just enjoy the wine for its pleasurable, hedonistic qualities. This has never been difficult for me. In fact, when I am invited to friends’ homes, I ask them not to quiz me on the qualities of the wine, as I just want to relax and enjoy it.

How do you think the current economy will affect the wine business?

For nearly thirty years, wine seemed recession proof. Prices continued to rise, demand soared, and wine seemed to be far more immune to the currency exchange rates and various recessions throughout the world. However, that has all changed with the current global economic crisis. We have seen the top, rarest wines begin to retreat in price, although the reduction in price for the top wines is far less than the reduction of real estate and stock values. I do think this is the first major correction in thirty years, and I believe it will continue as long as the global economy is turbulent.

The good side to this is that consumers are starting to see wines that were beyond their reach financially become more affordable. Also, many wine lovers are downsizing to less expensive wines and finding that there are great values throughout the world (such as Spain, Argentina, southern France, southern Italy, as well as less prestigious areas of France such as the Loire Valley and Languedoc-Roussillon).

Any “economical” wine suggestions for our audience?

I think the smart money for maximizing the strength of your wine-buying power is to think of the following categories:

— Malbecs, which are terrific from Argentina and often priced under $25 a bottle.
— There are a lot of richly fruity, value-priced wines made from the Shiraz grape in southern Australia.
— France’s southern Rhône Valley, 2007 may be one of the greatest vintages I have ever tasted.

Those wines, especially the value-priced Côtes du Rhônes, are just hitting the marketplace and are terrific wines to drink over the next three to four years. Most cost less than $15-20 per bottle.

In addition, wines from southern Italy, including Sicily, have improved dramatically over the last decade. There are many great values from these regions.

Other areas include Sauvignon Blancs and Chardonnays from Chile as well as a bevy of terrific offerings from Spain’s Tempranillo and Garnacha grapes. Spain is an awakening giant, and there are an amazing number of great vineyards and old vines (which tend to produce better wines than young vines) making inexpensive wines.

What should law students buy if they’ve got $12 to spend?

The first thing to remember is that price is not proportional to quality. Today there are far more bargains under $15-20 than ever existed in the past. Even at $12 there are some terrific wines.

In 2009, I would focus on 2007 Côtes du Rhônes from the Rhône Valley in southern France, some of the $12-14 Shiraz or Grenache/Mourvdre/Shiraz blends from southern Australia (the Aussies call them GSMs), particularly from the Barossa Valley and McLaren Vale, and some of the low-end whites and reds from Spain. Believe it or not, you can find remarkable quality at that price point if you do a little research.

If you’re going to drown your sorrows in a bottle of wine, what’s the perfect bottle?

There is no perfect bottle of wine because it comes down to what an individual likes. I have seen people who do not like the great Burgundy and Bordeaux wines, preferring a rich, full-bodied, powerful Australian Shiraz or a Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. There are so many great wines from so many different wine-producing regions that the diversity and quality of selections available to the wine consumer is fifty-fold greater than it was when I started in 1978.

Finally, any advice for Bitter Lawyers out there looking to change careers?

The only advice I can offer is what my father gave me: If you are in pursuit of the almighty dollar, you may make a bundle of money, but your psychological happiness may not be guaranteed. But if you pursue your greatest passion, chances are you will not only become very good at whatever that passion is, but by being good, you will also love what you are doing, and probably make a sufficient amount of money to live very comfortably.

To find out more about wine worth drinking, check out Robert Parker’s site, eRobertParker.com.

Bitter News, 3-25-09

by Bitter Newsroom on March 25, 2009 in News

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom luckier than Inmate 61727-054:

It’s Britney, bitch.  And a roster of lawyers potentially bleeding her dry, bitch.  The pop star is getting speared with legal fees over the last 14 months as more than 17 lawyers have billed at least $2.7 million to keep her operational.  [Los Angeles Times]

The Redskins apparently aren’t enough of a Washington presence for the NFL.  They’ve hired a lobbyist to help communicate their interests in the capital.  [USA Today]

Facebook poached a specialist from the ACLU as its new director of public policy.  He’s legislated several privacy issues before in the interest of civil liberties, but he has yet to face the wrath of Facebook members scorned.  What’s with that new format anyway!?  [PaidContent.org via Washington Post]

Closing arguments AGAIN in the Phil Spector murder trial.  And the jury needs to make a “Wall of Sound” and unanimously convict.  The co-writer of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” is accused of, well, sort-of losing that loving feeling and killing actress Lana Clarkson.  [Reuters]

Representing Mel Gibson and the archeological discovery of an ancient city and a frankincense trade route make for a pretty interesting life.  Hollywood lawyer George Hedges died at 57.  [Boston.com]

Titanic spoiler alert: The ship sank.  Now a U.S. district judge and maritime jurist is deciding the fate of the 5,900 Titanic artifacts and the wreck site 2.5 miles under water in le Coeur de la Mer.  [Detroit Free Press]

Harold Hongju Koh, Yale Law School’s dean, has played Monday-morning quarterback long enough, and now it’s his time to show what he’s got.  “The most vocal critics of the Bush administration’s approach to the detention and trial of terrorism suspects” has been chosen by Obama to be the top lawyer at the State Department.  [Los Angeles Times]

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

16comments

Post image for I Have B Grades at a T2 School

QSo, freaking out about this may be a bit premature, but I got my 1L grades and wasn’t thrilled. Now I’m worried about my chances for 2L summer employment. I already have a pretty great job lined up for this summer, thanks to a fairy godmother:  interning for a federal district court judge.

My grades were three B+’s and one B. I’m hoping to bring those up, but isn’t everybody trying to do the same thing? I go to a tier 2 midwestern school that actually has a great reputation in its city. I’m just not sure I want to stay out here (ideally I’d end up in NY or DC).

Do you think it’s realistic that I’d get a position with a big/medium-sized firm in either of those two cities my 2L summer if my grades don’t improve (but don’t get worse)?

ANo. You will not get a job at a “top” big-city firm with average grades from an average school. Unless you’re a former pro athlete, pop star or U.S. Senator, you will fall through the cracks and become just another faceless applicant barely worthy of a rejection letter.

The good news: You’re hopefully taking this semester to kick some ass and become something other than average. So, study like a freak and see what happens. Also, do everything in your power to differentiate yourself from all the other gunners out there. That means get on a journal, publish an article, start a goddamn bankruptcy newsletter.

If your stats don’t scream out “top-firm candidate,” you need to build an impressive resume that tells prospective employers that you’re ambitious, aggressive and, most importantly, willing to work your ass off.