October 2009

Caption This! Oct. 31-Nov. 6

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by Bitter Staff on October 31, 2009 in Contests

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture? Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this executive baller.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, November 4th. Editors’ Pick (October 24-30): Magic Circle Jerk: “Is it [...]

Bitter News, 10-30-09

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by Bitter Newsroom on October 30, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that wonder if anyone could care about Briteny’s new 3 video: • Boo!  (I know it’s rude to sneak up on someone on a blog and just “Boo” them like that, but tis the season.) Joan Lukey, currently a partner in the Boston office of Ropes & Gray, recalls a [...]

The Wrong Side of the Bar

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by Matthew Richardson on October 29, 2009 in Columns

Around this time of year is when I take stock of my financial situation.  Every year, its been kinda the same thing where I realize I spend as much as I make.  By the time I pay student loans, rent on my pimped-out apartment, fancy dates, top-shelf bar tabs, premium cable channels and Thai massages, [...]

Bitter News, 10-29-09

by Bitter Newsroom on October 29, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are more productive than swastidoodling:  • Can no one get away with a little cheap thrill anymore?  “Government lawyer fired after caught with stripper in graveyard during lunch break.” South Carolina Assistant State Attorney General Rowland Corning and an 18-year-old woman were pulled over on a one-lane dirt drive [...]

Five Monsters You Meet In Law School

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by Bitter Staff on October 29, 2009 in Columns

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For some of us, law school was a horrifying place, filled with terror and dread. Fortunately, there’s Halloween—a time when we can collectively put our fears out in the open and (hopefully) conquer them. So, in honor of Halloween, Bitter Lawyer is revealing the spooky truth about real law school monsters. ________________________________ 1.  THE GHOST [...]

Bitter News, 10-28-09

by Bitter Newsroom on October 28, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as creepy as an charity fundraiser for an abortion-doctor murderer: Sports, sex, high-ranking women and the law—all the themes for today… • Does the thought of the Phillie taking on the Yankees make you want to do the nasty? “A lawyer for a Philadelphia woman [Susan Finkelstein] charged with offering [...]

Modern Partner, Ancient Tricks

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by Bitter and Abused on October 28, 2009 in Columns

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“X just GRABBED me!  Can you believe? No wonder I’m turning into a rabid feminist!” If only I wasn’t too dull-witted to realize this made me enemies

Bitter News, 10-27-09

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by Bitter Newsroom on October 27, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom reminding you that most Halloween costumes will not get you laid: • “A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.” But [...]

I Want to Be a Mega-Rich Lawyer, Fast

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by Ex-Bitter on October 27, 2009 in Columns

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What’s the best way for a lawyer to get really rich, really fast?

Bitter News, 10-26-09

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by Bitter Newsroom on October 26, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that recognize 62 years of Hilary Clinton—and her snappy fashions: • A headline that is finger-lickin’ good: “Lawsuit Alleges KFC Causes Cancer, Customers Shrug.” Supposedly them doctors say that grilled chicken may grow tumors in ya.  But it’s a small price to pay for that delicious grilled taste, some die-hard [...]