November 2009

Bitter News, 11-30-09

by Bitter Newsroom on November 30, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are off to as “good” of start as Cyber Monday:

• Generally when you hear “Amazon” on Cyber Monday, you’re thinking online deal hunting and drooling over your Christmas wishlist. But what if you were hunting and drooling over swimsuit model Amazon Eve (AKA Babezilla) instead? That would mean you have one of “the softest of the soft-core fetishes” because she’s a 210-pound, 6’8” redhead who recently appeared in the Australian magazine Zoo Weekly, having dropped out of law school to become a dominatrix. High, high five. [New York Post]

• It’s the story of the potentially fallen great your can’t escape—what’s the deal with Tiger Woods? Will he come clean? Will there be legal action? He lawyered up with the swampland’s second coming of Johnnie Cochran. And his alleged mistress (obnoxiously) lawyered up. Not to mention, hundreds of millions in product endorsements are in the air. So Bitter Lawyer interviewee, former Cravath attorney and investigative journalist Gerald Posner takes a look at the possible financial implications—beyond the deductible for the ’09 Escalade. [The Daily Beast]

• The other story you can’t shake? Those pesky Salahis. They’ve been called to testify before Congress on Thursday about their crashing of Obama’s first state dinner—and criminal charges are rumored, which could take them from the White House to the Big House. [Associated Press]

• The results of a Bitter Poll last month (below) indicated that 70% thought making partner was still in sight. And lucky you—because it seems like you were wrong. “The bar has been raised on what it means to become an equity partner and to stay an equity partner.” Now what? [New York Law Journal via ABA Journal]

• Free law school at Georgetown! Only partially kidding. They have a new Loan Repayment Assistance Program where people working in public service only pay 10% of their income toward their student loans—and after 10 years, all is forgiven. If only wives were so kind. [NBC Washington]

• Haven’t seen Fantastic Mr. Fox yet? Then you haven’t seen Bill Murray play a lawyer…who’s a badger. Even children love lawyer jokes. [Kansas City Star]

• Close but no cigar. Philladelphia hasn’t been hit with the massive “implosion of the legal market” because though in proximity to Manhattan, it was shielded them from being hit with the ruins of Wall Street. I mean, it still sucks for lawyers in Philly. It just sucks less. [Philly.com]

• England may have a queen, but there aren’t many queens ruling in English law firms—except as HR directors. For obvious reasons. [Law Gazette]

• And perhaps one of those HR professionals could have helped out Theodora Benedict. She claims she was fired from her job as a legal secretary at the New York law firm Tarnow & Juvelier following an announcement that she was taking off two weeks for cancer surgery. Somewhere the lines of communication got crossed from “You’re always welcome to work for me” to “You’re getting the boot, cancer lady.” [The New York Post]

• Why the hell can’t anyone pass the bar at Case Western Reserve law school? [Crain’s Cleveland]

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I Looked at Porn on My Law Firm Computer

by Ex-Bitter on November 30, 2009 in Columns

QI am a third year at a mid-size Midwest firm that likes to think of themselves as one of the big boys. We have a decent amount of prestige, and we seem to be weathering the current storm with only a few layoffs. The powers that run the firm are the usual mix of old, conservative, straight-laced white guys, old, socially awkward white guys, and even a few old, womanizing white guys.

So, for about a week or so, when I was working on a late-night document review, I noticed our firm’s firewall was down, leaving the Internet wide open with all of its guilty pleasures. Yes, I did the unthinkable in this economy; I took advantage of the situation and risked my job by looking at porn on a work computer. And not just once. I know. Stupid.

I know that our web history is monitored regularly, but I have no idea if my indiscretion was picked up and reported to the powers that be. No one has said anything to me. Though since then, I think I have had fewer assignments, but that could easily just be my paranoia since I have not yet sought out work.

I figure there are one of four things happening:

It slipped through the cracks and nobody noticed;

It was picked up and reported, but the equity partners are far worse and not about to can me over something that is regularly tolerated;

It was picked up and reported, and they are waiting for the first slip up so they can fire me;

It was picked up, and they are simply laying a record to fire me at review time.

So, what’s your thought? I realize it was incredibly stupid. But is this a big deal, or should I be getting ready to clean out my desk?

AUnfortunately, I don’t have much to add to your analysis. The four potential outcomes you outlined seem pretty accurate. The real question, however: Why’d you do it in the first place? If you ask me, you’re quietly hoping to get fired, which is why you starting porn-surfing on the firm’s dime in the first place.

I’m not a prude, trust me. I don’t judge a man (or woman) for indulging in a little Internet delight here and there, but I do judge an associate who checks out the freaky-deaky in the office, especially when said associate KNOWS the firm monitors employees’ Internet activity. Sounds like self-sabotage to me. Then again, you might just have an irrepressible thirst for porn, a different (but equally troubling) problem.

Look, I understand that working at a law firm is boring, stifling and depressing. I also understand that it’s easy for a man of a certain age to get horny as hell in the middle of some mind-numbing doc review. But it’s stupid. Next time, just run back to your apartment or head over to the local strip club. Because no 48-second slow-streaming sex act is worth ruining your career over.

As for your specific question. I’d wager that the firm didn’t notice your Internet indiscretion and it’s already yesterday’s news. But whatever you do, don’t broach subject with anyone at the firm. Seeking clarity will only make things worse. Just ask Living the Dream’s Nick Conley.

Good luck!

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Bitter News, 11-24-09

by Bitter Newsroom on November 24, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as tasty as Nancy Reagan’s Thanksgiving persimmon pudding:

• When playing golf, there are “natural risks” to that you consent to when stepping onto the course. Balls are flying, clubs are swinging—the game may be slow-paced, but it’s not hazard free. So what happens when you add an “unnatural risk” to the mix: A man we’ll now call “Defendant” (surprise!) who teed up on the 16th hole after having consumed nine beers and half a pint of tequila. In homage to Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore character, “Defendant” took a running, slapshot swing and sent the ball flying at “Plaintiff.” And voilà: A judicial declaration of “a breach of the standard of care required of a golfer playing on a course with other golfers.” “The price is wrong, bitch.” [Legal Blog Watch via WSJ Law Blog]

News continued below video.

• Texas Tech head coach told Bitter Lawyer that he prefers a college football playoff system over bowl games. And he’s not the only one who feels that way. Which is why the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) has hired Ari Fleischer, former press secretary to President George W. Bush, and his company, Ari Fleischer Sports Communications, for a little perception boost. Which it will need considering Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff plans to sue the BCS for “federal antitrust issues” because Utah’s Mountain West Conference doesn’t get an automatic bid. [Politico]

• A lesson in good judgment: Upon realizing he was having a coronary, Georgia Supreme Court Presiding Judge George Carley had a cigarette, did some paperwork and put on his coat and tie before having his wife take him to the hospital. [AJC.com]

• There’s a little gamer in all of us. Just ask Sheppard Mullin’s Shawn Foust. But what if you love gaming so much it makes you “sick?” A 48-year-old “district judge at a county court in England” was so psyched about the midnight release of highly anticipated video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, that he played all night—and then called in sick the next day to play some more. “Sorry your trial has been rescheduled. The judge is busy taking on a Russian nationalist terrorist group.” [The Times via Kotaku.com]

• Could LexisNexis and Westlaw go belly up now that “full text legal opinions from U.S. federal and state district, appellate and supreme courts” has been added to Google Scholar? Finding the laws that govern us seems like a basic, free right, but legal publishers earn gobs of law firm cash by charging for it. How are they reacting? NO FEAR, MUTHAFUKA. [Above the Law]

• The mommy track for female lawyers is never easy. Madlyn Primoff can tell you that. And studies show that men have just as many family-work conflicts as women because kids these days have a ton of extracurriculars to worry about. (Speed skating anyone?) Few working parents have time to prepare their kids for that pesky thing called school. So fed up with constantly having to ~~be parents~~ keep up with their kids’ homework, lawyer/lawyer power couple Sherri & Tom Milley “negotiated a unique legal contract: Their kids will not have to do homework again.” Nothing could possibly make you more popular than being the kid who never has to do homework because your parents abolished it. [NorthJersey.com]

• Would you pledge allegiance to one legal nation under a universal bar exam, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all? Some states want to. [USA Today]

• “Lawyers for a convicted murderer asked a judge yesterday to order Massachusetts prison officials to provide additional electrolysis treatments as the inmate awaits a decision on whether she can get a taxpayer-funded sex-change operation.” He (now she) misread step one in the gender transition handbook. It didn’t say “kill your wife” after all. [Boston.com]

• “New York!!!! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There’s nothing you can’t do, now you’re in New York!!!” Well, there’s one thing you can’t do in New York, and that’s get a no-fault divorce. You practically have to be Eliot Spitzer to ditch that broad you married. Deserting her on holidays and weekends is no grounds for a split. But if you don’t come once in a while for sex, then it’s considered abandonment. Generally neglecting your spouse is fine, neglecting your spouse’s genitalia will put you at fault. [New York Law Journal via The Business Insider]

Empire State Of Mind (feat. Al…

• Don’t you hate it when you flee a country because you’re a statutory rapist and then your lawyers all over the world can’t get on the same page. So annoying. [The New York Times]

• We already know that 2009 law firm financials are going to be gruesome. So how do you spin it in anticipation of 2010? With a catchy public relations phase—duh! With that, we unveil: “Flat is the new up.” If you’re not dipping, you’re practically growing. [Law Week]

• The number of people taking the LSAT jumped 20%. Being in debt, miserable and unemployed has never been more popular. [ABA Journal]

• The subject of this week’s advice question went to law school with dreams of being a banker. Sounds stupid, but it’s more common than you think. Banker envy just happens. Cue video…

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The Thankful (Former) Laid-Off Lawyer

by Bitter Contributor on November 24, 2009 in Columns

Greetings from the future.

After being laid off last year 13 days before Christmas, I couldn’t help but resent the managing partner at my law firm who, in an effort to protect his personal bottom line, blindsided me with a pink slip in the late afternoon of Friday, December 12, 2008. So last year, I left you on a low note during the holiday season with my bitter Christmas list for Santa.

I was the first in a wave of layoffs that no one saw coming. And after a drunken weekend with a few still-employed firm friends, I returned to the office on Monday to face the feigned dismay, awkward condolences and complete disregard—because I was associate-kryptonite, lest they be next. But I held my head high and endured the obligatory apologies. Why? Because I was asked to continue reporting to the office until January 31, while I searched for a new job.

On February 1, I still hadn’t drummed up a single a lead. But I woke up a new man. The stress had lifted. The bitterness had eased. I knew myself again.

Looking back almost a year later, I still believe every word I wrote. The firm does employ stupid people. (In fact, I realize now, every firm does.) And many of them remain the shot-callers. But now, instead of cursing them for dropping me dead into the middle of the worst legal job market in generations, nearly forcing me into foreclosure during the worst real estate market in as many generations, I am thankful. Grateful for their decision to vote their own pocketbooks. In hindsight, being laid off (eventually) gave me a life better than any BigLaw associate I know.

At the risk sounding like an overly bouyant guy who’s been re-awakened and christened by the Kool-Aid of the law, I feel it’s important for everyone to know that recovery is possible. Being an out-of-work lawyer cliché isn’t permanent, and you actually may end up in a better place. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s possible.

So what’s on my bitter list this Thanksgiving? I’m thankful that…

1. After months of searching, I only became hungrier and more aware.

2. After months of searching, I realized I was smaller-law material.

3. After months of searching, I learned the difference between a friend, a professional acquaintance and a total dick.

4. Only one firm offered me a job worth considering. And since it was in a totally new market, I had to relocate at my own expense. Which has been amazing. I love my new city. Not a single thing reminds me of my former Big Firm life—and I never run into any of the prestige-whoring fops I used to work for.

5. I no longer have a billable-hour requirement, and the release of that pressure makes me twice as productive.

6. I learned that some firms play fair with their associates, and for the first time in my career, I will receive a year-end bonus that’s directly related to my profitability.

7. After crunching the numbers, I will still end up earning about the same amount as guys in my start class at the old firm who’ve been clawing at each other all year for limited work from partners in love with the fact they can now play God when assigning projects.

8. My best friend’s wife no longer refers to me as sullen, gaunt, ashen or bleak.

9. I’ve met partners who aren’t asshats and actually work for their clients, which, in turn, makes me actually want to do good work for them.

10. The synergy of good management and my newfound desire to perform affords me bigger assignments and greater responsibility than ever.

11. My months of misery can conceivably provide a thread of hope for those in similar situations.

If you’re going through hell, keep going. Stay confident. Be honest with yourself. And while nothing cures bitterness altogether, hopefully your list next year will be as thankful as mine today. Happy holidays.

Got a Bitter Rant of your own? Email it to.

Bitter News, 11-23-09

by Bitter Newsroom on November 23, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as definitive as “best of” music & movie lists of the noughties:

• Believe it or not, there’s a “goating community” and a “goat circuit” in America. And right now they are divided. Michele L. Anderson “might have made history when she filed what she believes is the first libel and defamation lawsuit brought on behalf of a herd of goats.” A herd of emotionally distressed Nigerian dwarf goats demand to be heard. And Anderson is their goat whisperer. [Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly]

• Trying to make good out of the Madoff debacle doesn’t come for free. The law firm behind Bernie’s bankruptcy trustee Irving Picard, Baker & Hostetler LLP, just submitted a bill seeking $21.28 million in fees. [Reuters]

• Are we well on our way towards legalizing marijuana? And do we have “Cheech and Chong: Get It Legal!” to thank? Maybe the reason Maine’s elections turned out the way they did was because Obama has tried pot but has never tried gay. [Washington Post]

• Two things we love together: Bitter and Law Student. Even if the connection is a stretch—but it’s a feel-good story. A Cooley Law School student studying at the Bitter End Coffee House in Grand Rapids got involved when a robber with a gun tried to steal all the patrons’ laptops. Unwilling to let go of his computer, he physically took on the guy, grabbed the gun, ran him off and went back to studying how to defend guys like him in the future. [mlive.com]

News contintued below video.

• Hmm, went to law school knowing you never really wanted to ever practice like this guy? Wanna do your own thing instead? Really? Jim Randel has been walking the non-lawyer line since graduating law school. And funny how entrepreneurialism reeks of the same stink as BigLaw: “Little or no sleep.” “Embarrassment and humiliation.” “An overwhelming sense of helplessness.” “Banker envy.” But, hey, there’s still that “1 in a 1,000,000 chance you’ll fly like Google.” [Huffington Post]

• The eyes have it. A $4 billion suit filed against Miley Cyrus for her “slanty eyes” photo was dismissed. [StarPulse.com]

• This debate over the 9/11 trail taking place in New York isn’t getting any more agreeable. Will it showcase the American justice system, be the next OJ trial or result in a major propaganda platform? “The five men facing trial in the Sept. 11 attacks will plead not guilty so that they can air their criticisms of U.S. foreign policy.” And do we get a six-for-the-price-of-five rate if we throw Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani in with them? [Associated Press]

• Two strippers from Big Daddy Lou’s Hot Lap Dance Club are going on trial today. They both admit to shaking it, but they don’t admit to breaking it…the law that is. But are they really illegal Trojan users—or just a Trojan horse for the police to get to Big Daddy Lou? [New York Post]

• Gay parental rights are all over the map in many ways. Vermont made history by being the first to award child rights to a non-biological lesbian mother who’s former partner (and baby mamma) ran off to Virginia denouncing her gayness and hiring a Christian law firm to dissolve her visitation rights. Meanwhile, an “audible gasp” was let out in a Florida courtroom when Department of Children and Families lawyers, in accordance to state anti-gay adoption laws, asked an appeals court to reverse the adoption of two foster boys to a gay male couple and put them back up for adoption. [Rutland Herald | Palm Beach Post]

• July 2009 California bar exam results dropped like they were hot over the weekend. The test isn’t pretty, but proudly on the pass list was paralyzed law school graduate Sara Granda who almost didn’t get to sit for the bar because she tried to pay with a check. Remember checks? Congrats to all who passed. [News 10]

• If you’re an unemployed lawyer, is it a better strategy to take a job you’re overqualified for, maybe by searching for a ShitLaw job, or should you stay away from the legal industry and make cash elsewhere til the smoke clears? Ding your salary history or walk dogs? The win/win of career suicide! [CNN Money]

• “Texas lawyers are committed professionals who pursue their vocation with candor, civility, courtesy and compassion.” They even have the creed to prove it. So suck it. [Houston Chronicle]

• It hasn’t been an awesome year for most of us, but this makes you at least want to give thanks for free speech. A Chinese court convicted a man to three years for speaking out on his website and criticizing the government’s response to the 2008 earthquake that rocked the country. [AP via Philly.com]

• Erin Andrews’ interstate stalker pled not guilty today to videotaping her in her hotel room through a peephole. He taped her three times in three different hotel rooms apparently. Sort of like the Twilight series for horny, abject sports fans. [TMZ.com]

• If your ad campaign isn’t working out so great, sue your competitors over theirs. Trying to win market share? Better be able to show the proof in the (delicious, wonderful, there’s-nothing-else-like-it Jell-O) pudding. [The New York Times]

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I’m a 2L Who Hates the Law

by Ex-Bitter on November 23, 2009 in Columns

QI’m a second-year law student (at a T1 school), and I know that I don’t want to work for a law firm. The thought of drafting pleadings and motions for the next ten years makes me sick. The good news is that I knew going into law school that I probably didn’t want to work for a law firm. The past three semesters and my summer experience confirmed this.

Now, I need to decide what the hell I’m going to do. I’m interested in business, particularly investing, but unfortunately I have an undergraduate history degree, and that’s not getting me anywhere. My question is: What options are available for someone in my position? I understand that’s a very broad question, and I’m hoping for a response of more than “drop out.”

Maybe you’ve heard of people in similar situations and have some advice? I’m thinking outside the box and considering pursuing a non-legal internship this summer. Thanks for your advice.

AOkay, I promise not to suggest that you drop out. Actually, I think dropping out right now would be sort of stupid since you’re almost halfway home—and you’re at a T1 school. A law degree from a top school is still a plus, even if you have no interest in ever practicing law. It’s not an automatic door-opener into the financial world, but it’s a leg up relative to a BA or BS.

I admire your unambiguous disdain for practicing law and you’re unequivocal commitment to pursuing non-legal jobs right away. If you’re this sure you hate law now, you’ll not like it any more three years down the road. So you’re off to a good start.

As for my advice, I think your idea to find an out-of-the-box summer gig is a great one. Forget the whole law firm summer associate thing and look for a job or internship with an investment bank, hedge fund, private equity firm, etc. The good news is that unlike the legal biz, Wall Street is humming right now. I had a drink with a senior banker at Merrill Lynch Friday night—and he told me that he’s never been busier. So, believe it or not, now might be a good time to look for a Wall Street job. Who knows, it might even be easier to find a good finance job than a good law job.

Good luck!

Bitter News, 11-20-09

by Bitter Newsroom on November 20, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that hate ESPN’s two-week Twitter suspension of Bill Simmons:

• Wanna work in BigLaw? Then you got to know the players. It’s imperative you understand your place in the pecking order—just ask Nick. The Snark breaks it down with a list of “Power Partners,” “PINOs (Partners in Name Only),” “Fifth-Year Seniors,” “Newbies” and several more. Plus there’s even a quiz on what is acceptable interaction between each sect. You just got skooled. [Law.com]

• Fox News is intrepidly reporting on deferred BigLaw new hires, but it’s hard not to get it confused with the Onion News Network. “’Loaner lawyers’ are all over the place, and Obama’s home teleprompter malfunctioned during family dinner. Back to you, John.” [Fox News]

News continued below video.

• As the old saying goes, you can’t polish a turd. No matter how you try to spin it. No matter how many signs of recovery or growth you point out, the fact of the matter is that 2009 will be recorded as one ugly year. Financially speaking. [The Am Law Daily]

• We officially have a trend. The line that Cravath drew in the end-of-year sand when they announced a shrunken bonus structure, ranging from $7,500 for newbies to $30K for old bros, set the new industry standard for 2009. Skadden and now Simpson Thacher have followed suit. One trend BigLaw isn’t jumping on though is the free cabs on Thanksgiving Eve program. What gives? [Above the Law]

• Roman Polanski has suffered enough. Is that enough of a defense? [Los Angeles Times]

• You’re no Facebook Madam Bovary, but you’re not in the safe zone either. Repeat: Being friends with Bitter Lawyer is good. Being friends with all the lawyers in your firm, including senior partners, is dangerous. And no one thinks you’re a cool rebel for throwing caution to the wind and playing Mafia War with you boss and FarmVille with the paralegals. [Young Lawyers Blog]

• M-I-C…C you in court…K-E-Y…Y? because I hate you, Donald Duck…M-O-U-S-E. [THREsq.]

• Who’s got deeper pockets than The Gates Man? Texas law firm AbingtonIP has issued a “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare” on game giant Microsoft and is rounding up class-action seekers who were banned from their online gaming service Xbox Live for modifying their XBox consoles. [mcvuk.com]

• Former Sen. Tom Daschle, please report to DLA Piper for active partner duty. [National Law Journal]

• Reason to move to England or Australia No. 325: Tipping is not nagging concern. Two college kids were arrested for not tipping the “18% added for parties of 6 or more” amount because they claim their service was so bad. Is that illegal? They don’t teach that in law school. [Philly.com]

• Truth: Disbarred lawyer Lynne Stewart is going back to jail for terrorism. Her spin: She’s entrenching herself in prison to be a lawyer for inmates. Because what are you going to do if she practices without a license? Send her to jail? Damn, she’s smart. [San Francisco Examiner]

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Bitter Review: William Kunstler: Radical Lawyer Disturbing the Universe

by Todd Gilchrist on November 20, 2009 in Columns

[Ed. Note: Weekends are for movies. So we turned to our film critic friend, Todd Gilchrist, for a review from the court of critical opinion.]

William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe is a documentary about William Kunstler, a lawyer as confounding as he is inspiring. After decades of service as a civil rights attorney and activist, he inexplicably wrapped up his career defending some of the most dubious and dangerous men in New York. While a normal portrait of such a man might chronicle the events in his life and offer historical and political context, Disturbing the Universe was written and directed by Kunstler’s daughters Emily and Sarah, offering not only an in-depth but deeply emotional chronicle of their father’s fascinating life.

The film opens with a description of his achievements that essentially forms the core of Emily and Sarah’s story: Kunstler used the courts to advance justice, even when it wasn’t attainable through law, and later utilized his deep-rooted understanding of the legal system to secure the releases of some incredibly dangerous, seemingly undoubtedly guilty men. He famously defended the “Chicago Seven” against charges of inciting riots at the 1968 Democratic National Convention; he attempted to broker a deal between the police and inmates who took over Attica Correctional Facility in 1971; and he drew up demands for members of the American Indian Movement at Wounded Knee in 1973.

But in the 1980s and ‘90s, he began to represent defendants whose behavior and motives seemed to contradict the values he once fought for so strongly. These included Omar Abdel-Rahman, the head of the terrorist organization responsible for the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, El-Sayyid Nosair, who assassinated Jewish Defense League leader Meir Kahane, and the “Central Park Five,” a group of black teenagers who were accused of raping a female jogger. The Five were later vindicated in 2002 when the real assailant confessed to the crime, but what gives this timeline emotional substance is Sarah and Emily’s personal anecdotes and perspective on Kunstler in the context of each of these events—their pride over his fearlessness in the face of racism, their dismay over being “punished” because of his work, and eventually, their exasperation at the sight of his increasingly erratic and unpredictable behavior.

At the same time, while their point of view offers an intimacy that an objective or outside viewpoint simply wouldn’t have, their opinions are not necessarily more informed or insightful, especially after he makes his transformation into a publicity-hungry attorney-for-hire. That’s not to say they don’t speculate intelligently about some of his other motivations—in particular, their observations about the impact of the Attica riots on his work later in the 1970s is heartbreaking and powerful—but even between their insider point of view and a cross-section of Kunstler’s colleagues and pundits, there seems to be little concrete explanation for why he veered away from the beliefs he once held dear and put himself at the center of the media circus.

There is, however, one thread that Sarah and Emily discover, albeit causally, which effectively provides a real foundation for his entire career and his motives, even if their results were varied. According to the two women, Kunstler spoke often and passionately about the untold depths of racism not only inherent in the U.S. legal system or the government itself, but in every single person, all of the time. For their part, the girls seem to acknowledge this in the admission of their initial “conviction” (their word) of Yusef Salaam, who was eventually exonerated; but in a larger context, one gets the sense that Kunstler was constantly trying to come to terms with, and combat, what he perceived to be his own racist impulses, and felt that the only way he could do so was to look into the faces of people who were condemned and considered monsters, whether they deserved it or not, and understand them as human beings rather than reflections of profiling, assumption, generalization or prejudice.

How audiences read this motivation—if they detect it at all—remains to be seen, but suffice it to say, the film as a whole may sway some viewers’ feelings about Kunstler’s accomplishments, no doubt in both positive and negative ways. Unsurprisingly, the documentary is exceedingly fair to Kunstler—albeit in less flattering ways than one might expect—but it produces a more complete portrait of the man for folks outside his immediate family. Ultimately, William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe is a fascinating portrait of idealism gone awry, filtered through his daughters’ deliberate but never dull perspective, which is why it’s neither a platitude-filled celebration of the man’s life, nor a nuts-and-bolts critique of his technique or intentions, but it’s nevertheless as inspirational as it is informative.

William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe opens in select cities today, expanding through January.

Todd Gilchrist is a member of the Los Angeles Film Critics Association. He contributes regularly to AOL’s Cinematical blog as well as Sci Fi Wire. His reviews frequently appear on Rotten Tomatoes.

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Bitter News, 11-19-09

by Bitter Newsroom on November 19, 2009 in News

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that kill fun like a sex offender answering Santa letters:

• A lot of things in Texas are big and fake, but are all marriages too? “Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a Houston lawyer and Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment designed to ban gay marriages erroneously endangers the legal status of all marriages in the state.” The phrase? “This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” Woops. [McClatchy]

• Whenever you’re in front of a computer, the elephant in the room is always Big Brother. Who’s watching over your every keystroke? Above the Law points out that, based on an IP address, news director Kurt Greenbaum at The St. Louis Post Dispatch called the employer of a person who left vulgar comments on the news site. To which the employer reacted by tracking the commenter down and confronting him, resulting in him resigning on the spot. The right call by Greenbaum? Doesn’t seem like it. In fact, it earned him the “disgrace, douche, pussy” award from The Legal Satyricon. But what about every damn email you send out while at work or using an employer’s server? Surprise—you may actually be safer. Courts are beginning to raise the bar on “rulings that hinge on the ‘expectation of privacy.’” But that still doesn’t make Kurt Greenbaum any less of a dbag. [Wall Street Journal]

• Richard Nixon is relevant in legal news today for a couple reasons…

1. Washington lawyer Herbert J. “Jack” Miller Jr. died on November 14. His career as one of the first attorneys to “specialize in white-collar criminal defense” included prosecuting Jimmy Hoffa and securing the pardon of President Nixon, preventing the release of Nixon’s White House Watergate tapes. [Washington Post]

2. President Obama repeated a historical Nixon moment when he made a statement indicating 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was already a lock for the death penalty even though his trial hasn’t even begun. And just as Nixon declared Charles Manson a murderer before he was convicted, scholars say it ain’t a thing.

[AP via ABA Journal]

• Skadden is standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Cravath and Cleary by announcing an identical bonus structure for 2009. You decide if that goes on Santa’s naughty or nice list. [WSJ Law Blog]

• The wife of a Dallas County District Attorney has been passed around between seven criminal judges, and it “looks bad” because she’s maybe providing “favors.” [The Dallas Morning News]

• Another crazy lawsuit takes flight. “[A] former civil litigation attorney and father of young triplets is blaming his personal, professional, financial, emotional and physical anguish on jet noise and air pollution. Now he’s suing, well, everyone, for $15 million.” Not sure why at no point during the destruction of his life he never considered moving. But if the mere functioning of an airport crushed his marriage, his in-laws must be saints. Or quietly dead. [San Francisco Chronicle]

• We’re neither gentlemen or scholars here at Bitter Lawyer. But Google is the latter. The addition of full-length legal opinions to Google Scholar is practically the second coming of Gutenberg. [Law And More]

• Ready for your close-up, sheriff’s detention Officer Adam Stoddard? A judge ordered him to apologize VIA NEWS CONFERENCE for taking documents out of a defense attorney’s file. [AZCentral.com]

• So the government’s American Opportunity Tax Credit threw you a bone of $2.5K for some education. If you’re in the University of California system, that will hardly even be noticeable. A proposed hike would raise tuition at UCLA Law to $40,522, which would plop it in the top tier of most expensive law schools. [Los Angeles Times]

Update: Ah, crap. It just happened. [Los Angeles Time]

• Cancer-free = lawsuit-free. Daniel Hauser, the 13-year-old who’s family was under a child protection order after running away with Hauser and refusing chemotherapy treatment, now has a clean bill of health and the judge has dropped charges. [Associated Press]

• Looks like Obama is the meat in a doctor/lawyer sandwich. An AP poll (below) found that 54% of people favor “making it harder to sue doctors and hospitals for mistakes taking care of patients.” “But congressional Democrats are reluctant to press forward on the issue. They don’t want to upset a valuable political constituency—trial lawyers.” [Associated Press]

• What happens when you Google a particular ambulance chaser, and the one you wanted doesn’t come up No. 1? Drama. Two Milwaukee personal injury firms are going at it over online advertising and search results. Just better hope there’s no asbestos in that there Google. [JSOnline]

• That bitch Katrina rears her ugly head again. A federal judge found the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers guilty of failing to maintain a waterway believed to have led to the flooding of parts of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. Four plaintiffs were each awarded $170,000, which could lead to billions in payouts if the rest of the city gets the same idea. And as soon as you see that your neighbor just won $170K, you’re going to get the same idea. [CNN]

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The Seven Guys You Sleep With in Law School

by Law Firm 10 on November 19, 2009 in Columns

Here’s the foundational problem with deciding to become a lawyer: If I had told my parents I wanted to be an artist, they immediately would have forced me to do my homework on the career opportunities. They would have mandated the shadowing of professional artists and lengthy visits to a variety of art schools.

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