“I’m like a fifteen-year old Latino boy with a 100-mile-an-hour fastball. They’re going to pluck me up.”
Watch Episodes 1 through 4 of the Bottom Rung now. Or meet the characters that make up the legal underworld known as document review.
February 2012
Each week about half a dozen lawyers separately ask to meet with me for blawging advice. Typically, they are blawgers who want to write about social media marketing and law practice management, two areas that continue to be curiously absent on the web. Here’s what I tell them.
Make shit up. No one notices. But—and I emphasize this point with aspiring blawgers by looking menacingly out the window—make sure you include a list of things in the title. Because that’s what Mashable does. A top ten this, eleven essential thats, five ways to optimize those. As I think Kevin O’Keefe said recently, “lists are da blawger’s bomb.”
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No need to watch Gossip Girl or 90210 to get your drama fix. Open up your family law case book to get all the sex drama you can handle.
Kevin Israel jokes that, when he was born, his father held him aloft and loudly exclaimed “he will be a lawyer!” While we won’t ruin the punchline, Israel did become a lawyer, but only after first disappointing his parents to become a stand-up comic. And a good one at that.
Tonight at Zanie’s in Chicago, Israel, Greg Collett, and the other four Comedians at Law continue their Lawmageddon 2012 tour through six cities. This week we sat down with Israel to talk about his career, the show, and the ultimate disappointment of his parents.
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Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house —Robert A. Heinlein
If you ever want some entertainment, walk into a law school and ask a group of students what 17 times 50 is. Chances are you’ll get a bunch of blank stares. One or two might be attentive enough to pull out a smartphone and open up the calculator. What you probably won’t see are students trying to figure out the answer in their heads.
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Click here or on the comic for a larger view. And view more Bitter Lawyer comics by Albert Wang.
What a strange week of Internet news. Racist ice cream and birth control dominated the news cycle this week. In the sport’s world people are dumbfounded how Ryan Braun could have his suspension for possible steroid use thrown out, for a technicality. Defense lawyers call that a Tuesday. And most of the time the client’s offense is far worse than ‘roid rage.
The entertainment world spent the weekend listening to Tim Gunn crush dress choices on the Red Carpet like he is Regina George from Mean Girls. At least he is better than Kelly Osbourne. Since when does being Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter provide a qualification for anything? Not to mention Sacha Baron Cohen being painfully unfunny to Ryan Seacrest. The Oscars is Seacrest’s Super Bowl and Borat just takes a dump on his parade. In douchebag news, the 1% hit an all-time low when a California banker left $1.33 and a note to “get a real job” as his tip for a $133.54 bill. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the only problem minimum wage employees had to deal with this week, as we roundup: Assholes Who Bother Minimum Wage Workers.
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Each Saturday we reach into the fridge and pull out the best leftovers to eat. That is, the most-read posts of the past week, which for the work week ending February 24, 2012, include:
- How to Tell Whether Your Boyfriend Hates You
- Wait. You Mean It’s Hard to Find a Job Right Now?
- Why So Many Lawyers Wear Glasses
- Personalized Lawyer Horoscopes
- I’m Plodding as a Seventh Year Associate
Looking for more? Start here or dig into the Bitter Lawyer archives, featuring more than 1,600 articles, comics, videos, and podcasts.
Post image from Shutterstock.com
What in the Bitter Retro Lawyer is going on here?
Put your lawyerly wisdom to the test and post a comment below or on Facebook with a witty, hilarious, or brilliant caption to this retro clip art, courtesy of Shutterstock.com. And keep it clean(ish) and, y’know, respectful.
The editors’ pick will be announced next week, and then we’ll post the clip art with the text on Facebook.
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