We all like to do the New Years resolutions thing, but let’s face it, there some resolutions that we, as lawyers, simply shouldn’t make. They’re a waste of time. Let’s just get them out in the open and save everyone a lot of heartburn:
If you read a newspaper or watch television or really have been alive for the past month, you have probably heard about the government’s ability to shit the bed on just about everything. Today we have official evidence that this is true. A federal employee has been formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence.
While serving a six-year sentence at a large, Midwestern law firm, there was a senior associate — let’s call him C. Romagnon — who later came to epitomize for me that attorney who no one can stand but who most partners want grinding on their files: at the office at all hours, always available to kiss partner ass, always available to chastise fellow associates, and completely unaware of the world outside his career and case files. Over the course of my time at the firm, he had many wise things to tell me. Here is a small sampling of his wisdom on varying subjects.
Dear Law Firm 10:
My 13-year career as a tax attorney has been moderately successful, but when I look back at my career, I become depressed. What have I accomplished? What impact have I made? Nothing of much significance. So the New Year’s resolution I’m considering for 2013 is this: to find a career that is more fulfilling. If I commit, I’m worried that I risk giving up a secure job and income. Am I fool? Should I just be grateful for what I have and suck it up?
Police say a man dressed as Mario, from the beloved video game franchise, has been arrested for groping a woman in Times Square. Police arrested Damon Torres, 34, with forcible touching after he blocked a 58-year-old woman’s path and grabbed her thigh before walking away. When arrested at the famous tourist spot, police also found marijuana on his person, for which he was also charged.
You may remember me from last year. On Christmas Eve, I offered you extra cookies if you’d bring my J.D. and license to practice. You didn’t bring them, so I sent you a little reminder on Christmas night. Since I’m still in law school, it’s clear you didn’t put a bow on those things, even after my second request. With that in mind, I’ve attempted a more realistic Christmas List for this year.
The most read posts in the past work week, ending December 21, 2012. Because you wasted time during the week on billable hours, catch up on what you missed.
- Proper Care and Feeding of Your Law Student During the Holidays Care
- Top 20 Bitter Lawyer Posts of 2012
- 5 People Guaranteed to be at Your Office Party
- Fraud and Fellatio
- From Bitter Lawyer to MSNBC: Interview with Bottom Rung Creator Matt Ritter
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