68-Year-Old Man Wants Free Erection

A 68-year-old man was arrested after attempting to steal a package of male enhancement pills. William Joseph Roten is facing theft charges after he opened a package of Extenze and put them into his pocket as well as a bottle of eye drops at a Pennsylvania Wal-Mart, then ran out of the store. He was later confronted by employees and identified from surveillance camera footage.

Extenze? At 68? Kind of late to the party aren’t ya Bill? You fought in Korea with a small penis . . . I think you could keep eating dinner at 4:00 pm with a small penis. Don’t get me wrong I like your moxie, I just think that ship has sailed. We all can’t be Joe Biden. Sure you might have procrastinated for 50 years but that is why you are part of the greatest generation. No matter your age it’s never to late to bring the big stick to the shuffleboard court.

P.S. Does Extenze actually work? I’m not asking for me or anything but a friend I know was wondering. If you have any history of success just let me know and I’ll tell my, uh, friend.

Post image from Shutterstock

Douglas Stephan is a solo attorney and owner of the Law Office of Douglas A. Stephan. He received his JD in 2010 from Ohio Northern University and BA from Ohio University. His practice is located outside of Dayton, Ohio. You can follow him on Twitter @stephanlaw.


  1. Phill

    September 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    Maybe he just wants his pecker to keep pace with his sagging balls.

  2. Jerry

    September 27, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    At least the guy is trying to please the ladies. He deserves to be comped at the whore house.

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