You may remember me from last year. On Christmas Eve, I offered you extra cookies if you’d bring my J.D. and license to practice. You didn’t bring them, so I sent you a little reminder on Christmas night. Since I’m still in law school, it’s clear you didn’t put a bow on those things, even after my second request. With that in mind, I’ve attempted a more realistic Christmas List for this year.
- Grades back in a reasonable time. And by “reasonable” I mean, before the Spring semester starts. I’m not asking you to work a miracle. I’m just saying, I’d like to start my next semester knowing how the previous semester went.
- Office supplies. Highlighters are basically currency in law school. Don’t even get me started on tab pens. New ink cartridges for my printer would put me over the moon.
- Caffeine. I’m not picky: coffee or Diet Coke or tea will all work just fine. If you’re feeling extra kind, I’d also accept a caffeine IV, so long as it comes with a medical professional to administer it.
- To do well. We all want to do well, but we can’t all do equally well. So, my wish is to do well at the expense of the classmates I can’t stand, rather than the expense of my closest friends. (as an aside, if by some sorcery, the law school best friend and I 4.0 any class we had together, go ahead and give her the CALI. She deserves one for putting up with all my whining).
- General wellness. I would love to be in a classroom that doesn’t sound like a tuberculosis ward or an auditorium full of single-for-way-too-long girls watching the Notebook on Valentine’s Day.
- Less intense hangovers. Some of us cut out alcohol during finals. Some of us self-medicated. Either way, our tolerances are all discombobulated. I’m not asking for a free pass to down a fifth of Jameson in a couple hours and wake up hydrated and refreshed the next morning. But at 3pm the next day, I’d love to not still be suffering from the bottle of wine and 3 drinks I had the night before.
Now, if you feel like tossing out a few miracles, here’s the rest of my list: getting a decent amount of sleep throughout the semester, Professor McGonagall’s TimeTurner, and of course that J.D. and license to practice.
Thank you for time, and I’ll look forward to hearing from you soon.
Your Favorite Law Student
PS: I’m putting out different cookies this year . . .