Bitter and Abused

Law Firm Quarterly Reviews: They Could at Least Buy Me a Drink First

by Bitter and Abused on May 24, 2013 in Columns

If your law firm is anything like mine, now is the time of year where you sit down with your managing partner and some senior associate. The associate knows you from the barcode on your arm. The partner, probably just doesn’t know you at all. These two people spend about thirty minutes explaining your progress [...]

Stop Calling Me Cupcake

4 comments

by Bitter and Abused on February 9, 2012 in Columns

Everyone at my law firm is calling me “cupcake.” It’s been this way for the past two weeks.

Nix the Crappy Cover Letter, Let’s Talk Kickbacks

6 comments

by Bitter and Abused on November 16, 2011 in Columns

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You forward my resume to the hiring partner or committee, with a note that the firm should take a close look at me. If hired, I become your bitch.

We’re Keeping the Goddamn Hereins Herein

4 comments

by Bitter and Abused on October 18, 2011 in Columns

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I was once a young associate in a small firm, and I thought I knew better. As in I knew how to write better than the four partners for whom I worked, including the one partner who only dictated. Most of the time I think I was right, but in retrospect it may not have [...]

Friend’s Family Law Bitch

12 comments

by Bitter and Abused on April 15, 2010 in Columns

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When you’re young and new to the law, there are tons of ways to foresee yourself being abused as a lawyer. Especially a low-rent attorney like me.

This Toy Operates on Battery

27 comments

by Bitter and Abused on February 28, 2010 in Columns

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Blah blah blah. And then, about a minute later, he drops a bomb. “So, [Cathy], how’s your vagina?”

Associate Swap: What Happens When You’re Derailed Off Partner Track

8 comments

by Bitter and Abused on February 18, 2010 in Columns

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Why did two female lawyers quickly swap practice groups unannounced and without justification?

Screening the BigLaw Un-Firm

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by Bitter and Abused on January 28, 2010 in Columns

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My law firm doesn’t have a modicum of concern about its associates’ health.

Ski In, (Can’t) Ski Out

17 comments

by Bitter and Abused on January 13, 2010 in Columns

This was it. The year I finally decided to do it. After three years of relentless work and zero (count ‘um—zero) vacations or sick days, I told HR, my boss and my secretary last October that I would be taking off the week of January 12. My boss (I’ll call Eric), who’s the partner I [...]

You Can Never Un-See Partner Porn

34 comments

by Bitter and Abused on January 5, 2010 in Columns

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What the hell is it about men that makes them get such a kick out of making women feel uncomfortable? Seriously. The IP boutique firm I worked for until recently had two offices. One in Palo Alto, one in San Francisco. I worked in the Palo Alto office, but one day I was called to visit the San [...]

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