Bitter and Abused

Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite!

16 comments

by Bitter and Abused on August 13, 2009 in Columns

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Don’t let anyone ever tell you that it’s glamorous to travel as a lawyer for business. It’s not.

See’s The Day!

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by Bitter and Abused on August 6, 2009 in Columns

The man who takes my chocolates from the law firm fridge hasn’t missed my name. He sent me a note reminding me to replenish the supply!

Drunk Skunk of a Boss

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by Bitter and Abused on July 31, 2009 in Columns

My boss is a class-A booze fiend. And my philosophy is usually: his liver, his life, I don’t care. Except there’s one problem. My paycheck bounced.

Bar Review: Just Push Play

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by Bitter and Abused on July 21, 2009 in Columns

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You go watch the video, you study your ass off, and you basically have no life.

Stop–I Got Enough

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by Bitter and Abused on July 6, 2009 in Columns

This just in: Michael Jackson is dead. He’s been dead for more than a week. And guess what? He’s still dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead as a door knob. Dead like disco. I’ve wanted to yell this breaking news at my boss every day for the past week. But my boss is a judge and, [...]

Gym Clothing (Not) Optional

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by Bitter and Abused on June 18, 2009 in Columns

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The thought of this old man hanging in the breeze while he talks legal strategy to me is more anxiety than it’s worth.

From Russian With Hate

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by Bitter and Abused on June 12, 2009 in Columns

This, I guess, is a Summer Associate abuse story, if that’s allowed. I just finished my first year at a top-50 law school. The summer job hunt was brutal, and I didn’t get an “offer” until after my last final. But at least I got something—even if it only pays $11/hour to work at an [...]

Associate Does No Legal Analysis

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by Bitter and Abused on June 5, 2009 in Columns

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My performance review came this week and it was then that I realized the full implications of my interactions with the senior associate

Throw Another Bagel and You’re Toast, Partner

30 comments

by Bitter and Abused on May 8, 2009 in Columns

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I had been slaving away for weeks. The partner spent that time yelling at me and the paralegal. Then he threw a bagel.

Get Out of the Car

38 comments

by Bitter and Abused on May 1, 2009 in Columns

I am on a business trip with a Partner in an unfamiliar city. We have a week of investigation at the client’s headquarters. On the first day, Partner asks to borrow my cell phone to call and berate his wife for allowing him to forget his Blackberry, and he continues to use it extensively throughout [...]