Bitter Temp Guy

Post image for Always Land on Your Ass

When it comes to being a highly-educated moving guy with a law firm temp job, it’s best to divide and conquer.

Post image for Dog Eat Whale Tail

The associates they put in charge of temps usually aren’t that bright, but this guy is unbelievable. Of course, it’s kill or be killed. Temping is an every-man-for-himself proposition.

Post image for Two Temps in the Night

Law firm temping is a small world. Sort of like Hollywood, but for losers.

Post image for Welcome to the Bungle

This economy is tough, I say. Even for Harvard law grads. Welcome to the bungle.

Post image for Temp’s a Bitch

Mrs. Donut has screwed me for the last time, I realize as Swiss Miss glides into the conference room and sits down across from me. Ordinarily, I’d be pleased that a hot woman was sitting across from me, but not today—not when she’s about to ruin everything. It’s the first day of a new assignment, [...]

Post image for Temp is a Battlefield

The TemPimp works out of some suburban strip mall hell-hole in an office sandwiched between a rundown H&R Block and one of those ghetto Chinese food joints that also serves sushi. I park my car, taking note of a blonde who reminds me of the Swiss Miss girl. But with a better rack. Apparently, she got [...]

Post image for Temp-tation Island

The first law firm temp to finish their box will be sent home, and the $45-an-hour gravy train will come to a screeching halt.

Post image for Smells Like Temp Spirit

Boss Lady is a pretty woman with an olive complexion who never thought her JD would grant her dominion over a team of hopeless losers.

Post image for Return of The Tool

The law firm tool is first-team All-Big Firm, and there is no room for humor on that squad

Post image for Redacting in the Morning

I love the smell of redacting in the morning. Mmm…Sharpies and piles of paper. The exciting life of a lowly lawyer.