As much as we don’t really want you to get a job because that would mean you would have less time to read Bitter Lawyer, we nonetheless want to invest in you for the long term. Meaning, you need to spend some time in the pig pen before you become truly bitter. At which point you’ll be back here, loving us even more.
With that, some more interview tips.
The interview season is here again. Big dreams. Awesome grades. Rock solid confidence. Impeccable resumes. All of it, lost down the drain with the uttering of one kiss-ass question to your interviewer. Please, don’t do it. You must think before you ask.
And let the Bitter Vault guide you.
Here’s a timely one from the archives. The legal market has not improved much from when this post originally aired, so we know that the majority of you are still hanging out on the couch in your tightie whities or pinkie panties. If that’s the case, it’s time you reconsider whether any of these jobs might work for you.
And even if they’re not, you need the money.
It’s time again to open the Bitter Vault. This go around we’re reaching way back to bring you a classic. This is where it all started. Living the Dream: The Interview. Love it. But don’t live it.
BONUS: Living the Dream creator, Rick Eid, reveals the inspiration for the first webisode.
While were on the subject of Adderall and because it’s time to open the Bitter Vault, let’s take a look at the other side. See the link below.
Sure, on paper it may not be ethical or “right” to use stimulants like Adderall or Ritalin when you haven’t been diagnosed with ADD or a similar disorder. But where do you draw the line? Caffeine stimulates basically the same part of the brain as these amphetamines. Thus, should law schools and firms remove their coffeemakers and ban caffeine drinks from the premises? Wouldn’t that make it a more level playing field? Or is our main rub with the legality of it all? That is to say, anyone can drink caffeine but the law requires a prescription from a licensed medical professional to ingest “A-Bombs”.
In the end, the larger concern should be that these are serious f’ing drugs — distant cousins of cocaine, and that chronic and long term use has the huge potential to mess you up and destroy lives. Users of these drugs, whether illicit or kosher, should ask themselves whether the legal profession is right for them if they need amphetamines to make it. The effects of long term use of these drugs have not been studied to any great degree, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that the ol’ ticker is going to give out much sooner than had it not lived a life constantly being redlined. Everything has its price.
This one is from Law School 10.
It’s that time again. Time to reach deep into the Bitter Vault and see what we can dig out.
The timing on this one couldn’t be better. For the young’ens out there, it is a good history lesson on Robert Kardashian, Rob Jr.’s old man. Robert Sr. was O.J. Simpson’s friend and garment bag monkey and who sat at O.J.’s side throughout his botched (unless you’re O.J.) trial. Of course, Rob Jr. is in the news for falsely tweeting that he was heading off to law school this fall.
It’s Thursday again. Time to pull some gold from the Bitter Vault. Telling your boss to “stick it ’cause you’re hitting the road and never coming back” is undoubtedly a dream shared by more and more attorneys today given the crappy job market and the necessity to do whatever is required to keep your even crappier job. (Thank you, sir. May I have another?)
Read on . . .
It’s Thursday. Let’s pull some fun from the Bitter Vault. This is a good one. Sure, it’s long, but very instructive on how to make it in this crap market: be smart – and get lucky. And don’t think you’re above legal temping. It can be very profitable.
Now, let’s see . . . where’s the combination to the vault ? Ah ha! There it is!
With the July bar exam looming, here’s some confidence-building news: if Weasel from Saved By The Bell and Chunk from the Goonies can pass the bar — and become successful attorneys, so can you.
Although it doesn’t mean you will. And if you do pass, it doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy the law or be successful. But at this point, what other options do you really have? Odds are you can’t fall back on your child acting career . . .
Preparing for the July bar exam? Let us allay (or confirm) your fears with this checklist of the six types of people you’re guaranteed to see or hear in the room that day, along with some practical, realistic advice on how to quickly riposte each one of them in order to maintain sanity. Good luck!
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