This is not a paid advertisement. This is just me ranting about attorneys masquerading as experts.
As a member of a state bar, two federal bars and three bar associations it is unsurprising that my contact information lands in the hands of many different people that want my time and money. Every day at the office, I receive solicitations for CLE classes in exotic locations (i.e., Rockford, Illinois), staffing services that want me to hire their paralegals (hello … I’m an associate) and publishers that are trying to get me to buy their ungodly expensive handbooks on how better to do my job.
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
It was a period of gainful productivity that exceeded the average yield, it was the first year of law school.
On second thought, maybe lawyers like me cannot be Charles Dickens. Yes, most of us get paid in six-minute intervals, but we cannot get paid by the word. Our writing has to be concise, to the point and, zealously arguing on\ behalf of our clients. The proper word choice and the voice and phrasing play such an important part in everything that I send out on behalf of my clients. This means, at least for me, that I cannot publish what I actually want to say when I am writing a f***-off letter for a client or a submitting a f***-them brief to a court. My problem (well, one of my problems) is that I usually cannot write in the canned lawyer speak that is acceptable for public professional consumption.
Doesn’t everyone have a boilerplate MOTION TO COCKPUNCH OPPOSING COUNSEL? Oh… I guess that’s just me…
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So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
—Peter Gibbons
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I recently bought a condo. [Pause for applause]
The process, from looking to offering to buying, was anything but smooth sailing. My search for a place began in November. I quickly found a place that I wanted the offer was accepted. That was the first week of December, and I just moved in the last week of May.
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A part of my professional development is being an active member in several bar associations that relate to my daily life as a lawyer. At least that is the lie I tell myself when I write the checks for renewal to these various organizations.
If I was being honest, you could call the organizations that I pay to belong to “the local bar association that anyone who is anyone joins (and for cheap CLE)”, “the state bar that sends out a daily email highlighting the important developments in the law (also known as “Namby is too lazy to do the research himself” bar association) and finally, “the professional association that helps me avoid malpractice.”
One of the additional “benefits” of these organizations is membership in their email listservs.
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Even though I am just a lowly associate at my firm, I occasionally get sent unsolicited resumes. While I can suggest to the powers that be that we need to hire someone or that we should interview this person, I have little actual role in the hiring process. The people sending the resumes don’t know this, which is why they keep sending them. And I keep reading them.
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