PhilaLawyer

[Ed. Note: The following is from the mind of our good friend PhilaLawyer.  It’s simply too amusing, intense and culturally relevant to just link to, so here it is in full.  Don’t forget to buy his book: Happy Hour Is for Amateurs.  A must-read for every Bitter Lawyer.  And listen to his weekly radio show/podcast [...]

Post image for Dear PhilaLawyer: My Crush is a Slut; Who Can I Assault?

[Ed. Note:  The following is the second reply in Bitter Lawyer’s offer to Ask the Philadelphia Lawyer Anything.  We received a ton of “interesting” entries seeking advice from the all-knowing lawyer/writer, but he is only answering three.  The lucky person who submitted the below question just won a copy of The Philadelphia Lawyer’s best-selling book, [...]

[Ed. Note:  The following is the first reply in Bitter Lawyer’s offer to Ask the Philadelphia Lawyer Anything.  We received a ton of “interesting” entries seeking advice from the all-knowing lawyer/writer, but he is only answering three.  The lucky person who submitted the below question just won a copy of The Philadelphia Lawyer’s best-selling book, [...]

[Ed. Note: We love partnering with PhilaLawyer.  Because that’s when stuff really gets twisted.  We like his bite, his taste in women and his unfettered commitment to the dark side.  He’s no stranger to Bitter Lawyer, having written some of our most popular pieces, and he manages to regularly entertain a fiercely loyal audience on [...]

[Ed. Note 1: For today’s “The Best of the Bitter: 2009,” we’re revisiting the three most popular lists from 2009. Seven Women You Sleep With in Law School by PhilaLawyer was hilarious and obviously number one (his previous piece, Eight Billable Hour Scams, was hugely popular too).  In second place was Eight Real/Fake BigLaw Criteria, [...]

Post image for Five Steps to Being a Plaintiff Lawyer Machine

Laid off from Biglaw?  We know, it’s horrible. The profession has been turned on its head.  All that money, that schooling. All the years of suffering those hoards of social invalids and Napoleons in your firm.  And now you’re in the poor house. Or maybe not… You can wallow in self-pity, groveling for scraps as [...]

When we asked in a recent poll whether you would stay in your job if forced to take a 20% pay cut, nearly 80% of you said yes. That’s hardly a bona fide economic indicator, but lawyers are typically more prone to bitching about being underpaid than overpaid, and when the bitching stops, that’s cause [...]

Post image for Eight Billable Hour Scams

No one likes this shit. It’s offensive, backhanded and creepy. And what’s its root cause? The billable hour.

Post image for Seven Species of Legal Website Trolls

Let’s face a fact: Most of the time lawyers are billing they’re not doing legal work at all. They’re playing on the internet, often reading “blawgs” or any of the numerous lawyer chat boards that have sprung up since the glory days of the original “Greedy Associates” site, when Y2K was our biggest national concern. [...]