Best of Bitter Lawyer

It shouldn’t seem strange that a profession such as law, with all of its dull, earnest subject matter and buttoned-up disciples, produces as many professional funnymen as it does. After all, you hopefully read on this site every day how well a Bitter Lawyer can translate into a comedic one. For whatever reason, there’s something about [...]

One day. Day m*th#rf*ck^ng one! That is how long my first summer internship lasted. I blame that label maker. That goddamn label maker. 8:45 AM I ran into the office, sweating. Did Bossman tell me to come in at 8:30 AM, or was it 9? Why wouldn’t I write that down? Shit. I tepidly walked into Bossman’s office.

CLEs are like a cyst that you don’t take care of. At first, it seems like nothing—a glorified zit—so you just ignore it for a few years and hope it will go away. But the more you ignore it, the bigger it gets. Eventually, it becomes a serious problem. Mine is now stage-four and can only be removed [...]

Question: What do you get when you mix an unscrupulous partner trying to bilk a deep-pocketed client out of every last dollar and an associate who has to make his billables so he can pay off his $15,000 credit card bill and put a down payment on a Manhattan apartment? Answer: Billable hours that get [...]

An archive post from Mr. 162.

Call me crazy, but you’d think my law firm would realize that we’re a group of educated professionals who are more than capable of seeking our own medical attention. I don’t think there’s a soul here who doesn’t know that when you feel chest discomfort and shooting pains down your left arm, the advised treatment is [...]