Bitter News, 1-28-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that give you more reasons for not getting it up than you need:

• Greg Oden has nothing to apologize for.  If your penis has to make legal news, at least it’s a dong so damn big that the word “Snuffleupagus” keeps appearing in headlines.  After naked picture of the Trail Blazers center hit the Internet, legal action, of course, ensued.  But in the ballsy (forgive the pun) Internet age, it takes more than a formal letter from some General Counsel threatening action to scrub the World Wide Web clean.  Here’s what you can expect in return when your lawyer asks Gawker Media to cease and desist.  They love their work so much they even say, “Hopefully, this correspondence will end up in the hallowed halls of the ABA’s Law Museum some day.” [Deadspin]

• From the NBA to the NFL: Can the league really own a chant?  “Who Dat?” is about to find out.  [ATL]

• Unfortunately, the most famous words so far from Obama’s Congressional addresses aren’t the President’s words at all.  They’re the fragments, “You lie,” and “Not true.” SCOTUS Justice Alito mouthed the latter (video below) during last night’s State of the Union when Obama said, “Last week, the Supreme Court reversed a century of law that I believe will open the floodgates for special interests – including foreign corporations – to spend without limit in our elections.” Does Alito deserve an “Obama smack”?  [New York Daily News]

• Former White House counsels and their Skadden legal drama: While Gregory B. Craig finds a new home in Skadden’s D.C. office now that he’s left the Obama administration, a former Bush White House lawyer isn’t having such luck with the BigLaw mega-firm. John Michael Farren is being sued by his wife, Mary Farren—a lawyer in Skadden’s D.C. office—for $30 million after allegedly beating the shit out of her with a flashlight while attempting to kill her, rendering her unable to work.  [UPI]

iPad = iFlop?  Who’s sick of hearing about it already?  Regardless, Apple is facing some iProblems.  Mainly with the name.  Go get um, Fujitsu.  [WSJ Law Blog]

• K&L Gates.  What can you say?  Is it excessive for lawyers to collect more than $800,000 in fees and costs from an estate valued at $1.2 million?  As the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court said, it’s “unnecessary lawyering.” [Legal Blog Watch]

• What happens in Florida, stays on Facebook.  A teen was sentenced to six months in jail and five years probation because she posted a photo of herself captioned “Drunk in Florida” to her Facebook profile a month after being behind the wheel of a drunk driving crash that killed her boyfriend.  [Buffalo News via ABA Journal]

• Scott Rothstein is facing 100 years.  Maybe less, if he rolls on other lawyers.  [UPI]

• Celebri-Law:

—Brittany Murphy’s husband plans to sue Warner Bros. for wrongful death of his wife.  [TMZ]

—Relax, Bragelina were just enlisting legal services, not getting their legal, individual names back.  [Just]

• “Martin Short get serious as a calculating lawyer.” Oh, brother.  [Vancouver Sun]

• Poor “Infant R.” The baby got stuck being born in Indiana, which only has a paternity statute.  And now a court has to decide if it’s biological mom is the child’s legal mom or if her sister who gave birth is, as the state law suggests.  Apparently the test tube in which the baby was conceived has no legal rights at all.  [AP via ABC7]

• The Lords in England are all hotly debating the legality of the Iraq invasion.  Do wars have to be legal?  And what the hell is international law anyway?  Anyone?  [BBC World]

• A Northwestern Law classroom building had a big, ol’ classic American lockdown yesterday because someone spotted a man with a gun tucked in his waistband on an elevator.  The building was swept; no suspect or gun was ever found.  Classes resume, per usual.  Life in the big city.  [Chicago Sun Times]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that give you more reasons for not getting it up than you need:

• Greg Oden has nothing to apologize for.  If your penis has to make legal news, at least it’s a dong so damn big that the word “Snuffleupagus” keeps appearing in headlines.  After naked picture of the Trail Blazers center hit the Internet, legal action, of course, ensued.  But in the ballsy (forgive the pun) Internet age, it takes more than a formal letter from some General Counsel threatening action to scrub the World Wide Web clean.  Here’s what you can expect in return when your lawyer asks Gawker Media to cease and desist.  They love their work so much they even say, “Hopefully, this correspondence will end up in the hallowed halls of the ABA’s Law Museum some day.” [Deadspin]

• From the NBA to the NFL: Can the league really own a chant?  “Who Dat?” is about to find out.  [ATL]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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