Bitter News, 1-29-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom to be enjoyed under the brightest full moon of the yearfart!:

• As Jay Leno acknowledged last night, women cannot get enough of handsome Senator Beefcake Scott Brown.  A 1982 nude Cosmo pictorial shot while Brown was in law school cemented that.  In fact, his dashing looks have been so infectious in politics that women everywhere are tearing their clothes off and working themselves into a lather over other politicians they want to see in the buff.  Two of them, like Brown, are lawyers.  [Cosmopolitan]

The lawyer-politicians ladies are ogling:

—Missouri State Rep. Jason Grill (Missouri Law ‘04): Already Kansas City’s sexiest single;

—Kentucky Attorney General Jack Conway (University of Louisville Law).

But don’t worry, there were a few who Cosmo readers want to remain fully clothed:

—Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giulani (NYU Law ’68);

—Former VP candidate and disgraced politician John Edwards (UNC Law ’77).

• [Update @ 12:37 PM] BREAKING: The Am Law 100 2010 is in full effect today:

Profits, Revenue Drop at Quinn Emanuel

Gross Revenue, Profits Down at Goodwin Procter

Paul Weiss Reports “Most Profitable Year in Firm’s History”

Hughes Hubbard’s Revenue, Profits Spike

• NBA man Greg Oden may has nothing to be ashamed of—but NFL Cardinal Eric Green might.  In what’s been an interesting week for athletes with legal issues, a transgender New Yorker has filed a $10 million sex assault suit against Green for forcible sodomy.  [New York Daily News]

• For two deferred Winstead attorneys, they had their start dates officially moved to February first, two-thousand-and-never.  Expecting to report for Day 1 on Monday, they got word yesterday that they, in reality, just began Day 1 of unemployment.  [Above the Law]

• The hotly debated iPad name.  No legal dilemma.  No homo[Wall Street Journal]

• Guess who isn’t fan of being publicly scolded.  Samuel Alito.  [San Francisco Chronicle]

• Do you have enough good will in that lawyer heart of yours to donate one of your kidneys to a firm staffer’s son?  Haynes and Boone partner Matthew Deffebach seriously did it.  And to think Nick Conley wouldn’t even buy raffle tickets from a secretary in Season 2 of Living the Dream.  (Excuse me.  Wha?) [Tex Parte Blog]

• Remember the former administrative law judge who famously sued a dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants?  The case was dismissed.  But, well, he’s still trying to pull the court’s pants down.  He’s trying to resurrect his case in appeal—this time with evidence.  Not a paper trail or surveillance video—he’s got a picture.  Of judge Ellen Segal Huvelle, who dismissed his case, posing with one of the defendants from the case, fellow judge Anita Josey-Herring, at a Law Day Dinner Program event.  Oooh, burn!  [BLT: Blog of the Legal Times]

• They’re coming! “America’s Best Law Firms” rankings are due soon.  But what does it matter?  It’s not like lawyers are into that sort of thing.  [U.S. News & World Report]

• R.I.P., The Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger.  His lawyer, Marcia B. Paul, isn’t commenting on possible unreleased works that were in his safe.  And since her client used to sue everyone over anything that came close to his prized novel while he was alive, is there now an opportunity for a film adaption of the literary classic?  Leave it to Hollywood to celebrate a death by seeing money signs.  [Entertainment Weekly]

• Speaking of Hollywood… In that town, ghostwriters are all the rage.  Not so much in law.  How one appeals court senior staff attorney lost his job over a ghostwritten term paper.  [Law And More]

• “Pump and dump.” It’s disgusting enough when breast-feeding mothers use the term, but a former SEC trial lawyer just got convicted for a more classic-definition scheme.  [The Business Insider]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom to be enjoyed under the brightest full moon of the yearfart!:

• As Jay Leno acknowledged last night, women cannot get enough of handsome Senator Beefcake Scott Brown.  A 1982 nude Cosmo pictorial shot while Brown was in law school cemented that.  In fact, his dashing looks have been so infectious in politics that women everywhere are tearing their clothes off and working themselves into a lather over other politicians they want to see in the buff.  Two of them, like Brown, are lawyers.  [Cosmopolitan]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. Editor

    January 31, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    Greg Oden, not Otis [NBA player reference]

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