Bitter News, 1-4-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that pass on the NY health dept.’s “How to Shoot Heroin” flier:

• Just as SCOTUS begins dabbling in the NFL this month, deciding to weigh in with a ruling on whether the pro-football league is shielded from antitrust laws, we learn that the Supreme Court also has some deep ties to the basketball world too.  “Court” and “bench” puns aside, it turns out that the highest court in the land has…its own basketball court!?!  Yep, a gymnasium is located up above the SCOTUS chamber.  And the late chief justice William H. Rehnquist’s 6-foot-4 grandson, Peter Rehnquist, (who played on said court as a kid) just landed a walk-on spot on the Boston College basketball roster.  Young Pete even sees law school in his future—just like his father, James Rehnquist, and grandpappy Justice Rehnquist (so no pressure really).  James, a former semi-pro player himself, simultaneously coached all of Peter’s basketball teams growing up (as well as his four other kids’) while simultaneously working as a partner at Goodwin Procter LLP in Boston.  Sounds logistically impossible.  But it’s in print, so it must be true.  [The Boston Globe]

• Speaking of da’ Supremes, Sotomayor was the legal story of 2009.  Wonder if she’s getting her hoops on upstairs.  ”Hook! Hook! Dunk! Dunk! Baby, I’m all about three points.” [WSJ Law Blog]

• And who could optimistically begin the first work week of 2010 without a final 2009 carnage tally?  Law Shucks is now famous for tracking 12,196 layoffs by major firms in 2009, “of which 4,633 were lawyers and 7,563 were staff.” Bodies everywhere.  March 2009 saw 3,682 let-gos alone.  [Law Shucks]

• Courthouses are having a horrific start to the year.  While a bomb blasted a courthouse in southern Italy “where investigators are probing a powerful organized crime syndicate,” it was nothing compared to a shooting today in a Nevada courthouse.  A security officer was killed and U.S. marshal was injured.  Shooter also killed.  Motive yet unknown.  [ABC News]

• AIG’s former general counsel Anastasia Kelly is walking away with possibly as much as $3.8 million because while she was busy cutting execs’ pay, hers got cut too.  Sad face.  [Corporate Counsel via Law.com]

• Latham & Watkins is back, bitches.  Pay is unfrozen for those stateside, and the firm is going after the Asian market, tapping hot Chinese talent ass as we speak.  [Above the Law | Bloomberg]

• The legal stars aligned on New Year’s Eve last Thursday when Judge Denny Chin maintained his reputation of a life sentencer.  After handing down Bernie Madoff’s 150-year sentence last June, Chin married New York Sullivan & Cromwell associate Abigail F. Gaunt to Tulane Law’s sports law director Gabriel Feldman at a ceremony at New York’s Cipriani.  There’s enough law and love in this story to give you a nauseated concussion.  [The New York Times]

• Bitter Lawyer won the vote for best blog in our category.  Thanks.  I guess.  [ABA Journal]

• How amazing would you life be if your super-famous personal lawyer, Bertram Fields, had to issue a statement about a biography that says you’ve had sex with 12,755 women?  (Oh, and that number doesn’t include “daytime quickies, drive-bys,” btw.) That’s the life of cocksman actor Warren Beatty.  But it hardly holds a candle to the WiLd sexcapades of lawyers in 2009.  Can I get an ‘Amen’?  [Huffington Post]

• Kim Kardashian is getting her big ass sued for Twitter defamation.  [THR, Esq.]

• Where’s Tiger Woods these days?  On a African safari perhaps? Just hope he’s calling his kids—or else good luck with a custody case after a divorce that already doesn’t seem stacked in his favor.  [Popsquire]

• After a near-fatal terrorism attempt on the Northwest Airlines flight over Christmas, the world is demanding better airport screenings—and more media coverage of hot people going through full-body scans.  So it begs to be asked: What the hell is going on with that no-fly list?  Not only are the names not listed on there important (Mr. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab!), but can we discuss for a second the civil-liberties ramifications of the names on there that shouldn’t beJustin Florence, an associate at O’Melveny’s DC office and Georgetown fellow, is a wee bit concerned with how the hell those who are wrongly listed can get their names removed.  Because it’s all fun and game til you’re a wrongly suspected terrorist.  [Washington Post]

• BREAKING: University of Miami’s law school is getting a HEALTHY vending machine.  How are you going to explain being a fat slob now?  [Sun-Sentinel.com]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that pass on the NY health dept.’s “How to Shoot Heroin” flier:

• Just as SCOTUS begins dabbling in the NFL this month, deciding to weigh in with a ruling on whether the pro-football league is shielded from antitrust laws, we learn that the Supreme Court also has some deep ties to the basketball world too.  “On the court” and “on the bench” puns aside, it turns out that the highest court in the land has a basketball court!?!  Yep, a gymnasium is located above the SCOTUS chamber.  And the late chief justice William H. Rehnquist’s 6-foot-4 grandson, Peter Rehnquist, who has played on said court just landed a walk-on spot on the Boston College basketball roster.  He even sees law school in his future—just like his father, James Rehnquist, and grandpappy Justice Rehnquist (so no pressure really).  James, a former semi-pro player himself, simultaneously coached all of Peter’s basketball teams growing up (as well as all of his four other kids’) while simultaneously working as a partner at Goodwin Procter LLP in Boston.  Sounds logistically impossible.  But it’s in print, so it must be true.  [The Boston Globe]

• Speaking of da’ Supremes, Sotomayor was the legal story of 2009.  Wonder if she’s getting her hoops on upstairs.  ”Hook! Hook! Dunk! Dunk! Baby, I’m all about three points.” [WSJ Law Blog]

• And who could optimistically begin the first work week of 2010 without a final 2009 carnage tally?  Law Shucks is now famous for tracking 12,196 layoffs by major firms in 2009, “of which 4,633 were lawyers and 7,563 were staff.” Bodies everywhere.  March 2009 had 3,682 of let-gos alone.  [Law Shucks]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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