Bitter News, 1-5-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as sushi-rific as a $177,000 513-pound bluefin tuna:

• Lawyers at Skadden are tigers in the boardroom…and in the boardroom.  First, let’s get down to business: “Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP, the top-grossing U.S. law firm, overtook a U.K. competitor [Linklaters] to advise on the highest volume of global mergers and acquisitions in 2009, the least-active deal market in six years.” But now, let’s get down to bidness: Remember that pair of Skadden attorneys who were caught boning in a conference room that was visible from the elevators?  Oh, hellz yeah you do.  [Business Week | The Business Insider]

• No Penthouse in the big house.  “A Florida prisoner filed a handwritten lawsuit in Manhattan federal court against Penthouse magazine for not fulfilling his subscription request.” The man, who’s serving a life sentence, badly wants a Dita Von Teese back issue and says the mag is “being prejudice [sic]” against him because he’s a prisoner and that they are violating his constitutional rights by denying him “access to the media.” [New York Post via Gothamist]

• SCOTUS’ own Justice Scalia is “worried about the trend to nominate only justices with prior judicial experience.” Need more varied backgrounds on the bench.  Which is why the next nominee should be Charo.  [ABA Journal]

• Remember how British firms were offering divorce gift certificates for the holidays?  Well, it’s January, so gift certificates are giving way to “welcome packs” for “husbands and wives seeking to initiate proceedings in the new year.” January is to divorce solicitors as what April is to tax attorneys.  [Guardian]

• Friendly reminder: YOU are most responsible for making sure you don’t contract AIDS.  “Lawyers for an HIV-infected Thai stripper implored a judge to dismiss a $33-million lawsuit” filed by her estranged husband, who is suing his wife, Immigration Canada, other levels of government and the strip club where they both worked, “alleging their negligence led to him contracting HIV.” [Toronto Sun]

It’s a “Lawyer Up” Kinda Day:

John Q. Kelly, the lawyer who won against O.J. Simpson, now reps a mis-driving family.  [NBC NY]

• The fate of American Amanda Knox, who’s been sentenced to 26 years in Italian prison for murdering her roommate, has hung her appeal hopes on lawyer Theodore “Ted” Simon, the “leading authority” on the representation of Americans abroad.  [UKPA]

• Still dealing with the full-on toxic contamination that is Jersey Shore, the Garden State will vote this week on legalizing same-sex marriage.  [Reuters]

• Speaking of the gay thing, here are ten do’s and do not’s for coming out a law firm.  Even though we personally think Ex-Bitter handled it better[Legally India]

• Johnny Lee Wickshad a hell of a rap sheet.  And he opened fire in a courthouse in Vegas yesterday after losing his shit over his Social Security benefits.  But he just as easily could have been a lawyer who lost his shit over something as arbitrary.  Yet Montreal lawyers are bitching about beefed up security measures in courthouses. “Because I’m a defence attorney, I have to pass through security checks. That I don’t like that,” said one attorney.  “All it does is complicate life for honest people like us,” said another.  Sorry, boys.  Court security officer Stanley Cooper’s family would probably not care.  [CVT.ca]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as sushi-rific as a $177,000 513-pound bluefin tuna:

• Lawyers at Skadden are tigers in the boardroom…and the boardroom.  First, let’s get down to business: “Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP, the top-grossing U.S. law firm, overtook a U.K. competitor [Linklaters] to advise on the highest volume of global mergers and acquisitions in 2009, the least-active deal market in six years.” But now, let’s get down to bidness: Remember that pair of Skadden attorneys who were caught boning in a conference room that was visible from the elevators?  Oh, hellz yeah you do.  [Business Week | The Business Insider]

• No Penthouse in the big house.  “A Florida prisoner filed a handwritten lawsuit in Manhattan federal court against Penthouse magazine for not fulfilling his subscription request.” The man, who’s serving a life sentence, badly wants a Dita Von Teese back issue and says the mag is “being prejudice [sic]” against him because he’s a prisoner and that they are violating his constitutional rights by denying him “access to the media.” [New York Post via Gothamist]

• SCOTUS’ own Justice Scalia is “worried about the trend to nominate only justices with prior judicial experience.” Need more varied backgrounds on the bench.  Which is why the next nominee should be Charo.  [ABA Journal]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. SFLawyer

    January 5, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Great presentation

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