Bitter News, 1-6-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that endorse Ochocinco’s “wild sex check” for orthopedic injuries:

• You can be bitter all you want about lawyer crap, but sometimes it’s good to get your head out of your ass and look around.  When Seun Adbiyi graduated Yale Law in June 2009, he was the guy everyone probably hated: A good-looking minority with a top-ranked law degree.  Oh, and possibly the first Nigerian delegate in the Winter Olympics.  Then, he was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia and now is trying to find a bone marrow match.  And he continues to be enviable as he tries to help the transplant community at large.  Maybe you can help.  Go here to try.  [Huffington Post]

• In an inelegant transition, it’s back to the snark—and let’s be honest: Is there anything anyone can do that’s legitimately worth $1,000 an hour?  The legal media is fixating on high-powered DC lawyers and their work’s worth.  And, honestly, clients are totally cool with paying big honchos’ four-figured hourly fees—it’s the newly minted peons working for mere hundreds they’re not cool with.  Basically: You’re so not worth it.  [Washingtonian.com]

• More about salary and potential earnings… An advice seeker writes to the WSJ’s Sue Shellenbarger: “My daughter is considering attending law school. Do you have any research on the value of a post-graduate degree?” Her reply: “Median income for people with professional degrees in such fields as law, medicine or engineering was $100,000, more than three times that of high-school graduates and 96% more than bachelor’s degree holders.” But what about that whole brutal job market and exorbitant cost of education thing?  Lawyers are cautioning against going to law school for a reason (here’s a great collection of reliable “think twice” reports).  And a new report says that almost one-third of law students will graduate with $120K of debt.  The thing is, the numbers will never reconcile.  Proceed with extreme, intense caution.  [ABA Journal]

• And what the hell does $120K in debt really teach you if you’re taking classes like “Popular Culture and the Law” anyway?  (A nice compliment to Harvard Law’s Evil: Seminar, perhaps?) In a loosely related non-sequitur: The South Butt is growing into a massive ba-donk-a-donk with huge sales after being sued by The North Face.  [The Legal Satyricon]

• A bitter Dallas attorney takes on therapy.  And trust us, we’ve tried the same thing.  Nothing cures the bitter.  Blogging helps.  But I guess this guy figured that out already.  [The Life and Times of a Texas County Trial Lawyer]

• How’d we miss this?  LF10, eat your heart out.  Looks like a male lawyer beat to the punch on that “marry rich” quest of yours.  In a pretty major way.  Virtual Law Partners’ Zachary Bogue took Google VP Marissa Mayer’s hand in marriage last month in a lavish ceremony that would make any cushion-cut-diamond-and-gold-digging hopeful weep.  [Law Shucks]

• Ms. Sharon Stone, are you ready for your close-up where you’ll play a hugely unrealistic-yet-cougar-like prosecutor on Law & Order: SVU[New York Daily News]

• For female lawyers who don’t look like Sharon Stone and may need to…pay for sex, worry not.  Relief is near.  It looks like Nevada will legalize male stud ranches very soon.  Although, if it works out, it may just end up being a playground for gay male lawyers…who need to pay for sex.  [Los Angeles Times]

• A survey found that 29 of the Am Law 100 law firms are actively using Twitter.  You haven’t really lived til you’ve read Mayer Brown’s Twitter feed[Legal Blog Watch]

• New York’s Gov. Paterson wants to know what the hell lawmaking lawyers are doing during their downtime in the 2-1-2.  He wants to make “[l]egislators who moonlight for fat-cat law firms, such as top Dems Sheldon Silver and John Sampson” plus the other 56 members of the Assembly and Senate who have law degrees to disclose their client lists via an ethics bill to ensure transparency.  And he’s not taking “it would violate attorney-client privilege” as an excuse.  [New York Post]

• If it looks like a shackled human panda and walks like a shackled human panda, then it’s probably Florida lawyer Scott Rothstein, who said he’ll plead guilty to running a $1.2 billion Ponzi scheme at his former firm.  [The Am Law Daily]

Elizabeth Wurtzel’s boss—famed litigator David Boies—is living the high life.  With a perfect view of Central Park.  After plunking down a paltry $386,900 for a Vegas condo in December last year, it’s reported he really plunked down some case.  He closed for $7.8 million on a New York 2-bedroom.  A sign of the economic crunch: He had to buy it on sale.  It was marked down 20%.  [Above the Law]

• A third Obama party crasher?  The suspected man’s lawyer says, “Ji nahi.” [The New York Times]

• A Zimbabwean law student lectured for a record-breaking 121 hours.  No report on if anyone listened.  [The Business Insider]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that endorse Ochocinco’s “wild sex check” for orthopedic injuries:

• You can be bitter all you want about lawyer crap, but sometimes it’s good to get your head out of your ass and look around.  When Seun Adbiyi graduated Yale Law in June 2009, he was the guy everyone probably hated: A good-looking minority with a top-ranked law degree.  Oh, and possibly the first Nigerian delegate in the Winter Olympics.  Then, he was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia and now is trying to find a bone marrow match.  And he continues to be enviable as he tries to help the transplant community at large.  Maybe you can help.  Go here to try.  [Huffington Post]

• In an inelegant transition, it’s back to the snark—and let’s be honest: Is there anything anyone can do that’s legitimately worth $1,000 an hour?  The legal media is fixating on high-powered DC lawyers and their work’s worth.  And, honestly, clients are totally cool with paying big honchos’ four-figured hourly fees—it’s the newly minted peons working for mere hundreds they’re not cool with.  Basically: You’re so not worth it.  [Washingtonian.com]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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