Bitter News, 1-8-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are “On to the Next One” like a tool of the Illuminati:

• St. Louis attorney “Ra-Ra, Raisin Bran, Ms. Culture” Raven Akram has a problem with working weekends.  Because she’s also a Rams football cheerleader.  Now, we’ve had an abused associate write about the more typical version of a legal cheerleader before, but Raven is the real deal.  Hopefully her legal record is better than the Rams’ 1-15 finish[Above the Law]

• We were a little pissed with the ABA (American Bar Assoc., not American Basketball Assoc.) when we got nuthin’—nada—zilch after a month of playing their annual ABA Journal Blawg 100 game and winning the top number of votes.  But D.C. lawyer Mark Greenbaum has a slightly more legitimate gripe.  In an opinion piece, he writes about the ABA is disserving the thousands of lawyers who are “drowning in the unemployment line as the legal sector is being badly saturated with attorneys.” What he thinks it boils down to?  The glut of new law schools allowed to open and the mismanagement of existing ones.  Basically, even dentists do it better.  [The Los Angeles Times]

• Speaking of the ABA, the ABA and ABA member (and athletic supporter) Raven… Lawyer athletic leagues are hurting.  Something asshole equity partners don’t consider when deciding to layoff a percentage of their dead weight extra associates is that when they do that, it shrinks the pool of potential players for law firm sports leagues.  Duh!  Some winter lawyer leagues are down by as much as 30%.  And a world without bragging-rights basketball tournaments for middle-aged, short, balding white men with pristine sneakers is not a world that any of us want to know.  Save the cheerleader, save the world. 

[Am Law Daily]

• Something you don’t know about Michael Leiter, Director of the United States National Counterterrorism Center?  (Other than the fact that he’s maybe now realizing that taking a ski vacation immediately after a narrowly failed terrorist attack wasn’t a great idea.) He was the 113th president of the Harvard Law Review as a 2L, clerked for Associate Justice Stephen Breyer and looooooves the Washington Nationals.  (Another sports reference!) [U.S. News & World Report]

• “I did not have [Facebook] relations with that woman.” Maybe not totally that line, but Superior Court Chief Judge Bucky Woods ended his 17-year judicial career over questions about a personal relationship that developed on Facebook with a female defendant in his court.  [Fulton County Daily Report]

• It’s never great to go full-on colloquial when speaking to a judge in a full courtroom.  “[U]p to our ears in full blown litigation, your Honor,” isn’t the classiest choice.  But, on the bright side, at least you didn’t say “balls deep in full-blown litigation” instead.  [The Namby Pamby]

• The French are considering taxing le Google as a solution to illegal download and copyright infringement.  [CNET]

• Living in LA, cyclists are annoying, but I suppose you really shouldn’t deliberately hurt them.  “Cyclists from across the country—and as far away as Europe and China—are urging a Los Angeles County judge to order a lengthy prison stretch for a former Brentwood doctor convicted of deliberately injuring two cyclists in an alleged road rage assault.” [Los Angeles Times]

• A judge being sworn in on Saturday was asked to ceremoniously put his hand on a dictionary—because a Bible wasn’t handy.  “Do You Solemnly Swear To Look Up Every Word You Don’t Know?” [Daily Freeman via Legal Juice]

• Gay marriage in New Jersey was voted down yesterday by the State Senate 14-20.  [CNN]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are “On to the Next One” like a tool of the Illuminati:

• St. Louis attorney “Ra-Ra, Raisin Bran, Ms. Culture” Raven Akram has a problem with working weekends.  Because she’s also a Rams football cheerleader.  Now, we’ve had an abused associate write about the more typical version of a legal cheerleader before, but Raven is the real deal.  Hopefully her legal record is better than the Rams’ 1-15 finish[Above the Law]

• We were a little pissed with the ABA (American Bar Assoc., not American Basketball Assoc.) when we got nuthin’—nada—zilch after a month of playing their annual ABA Journal Blawg 100 game and winning the top number of votes.  But D.C. lawyer Mark Greenbaum has a slightly more legitimate gripe.  In an opinion piece, he writes about the ABA is disserving the thousands of lawyers who are “drowning in the unemployment line as the legal sector is being badly saturated with attorneys.” What he thinks it boils down to?  The glut of new law schools allowed to open and the mismanagement of existing ones.  Basically, even dentists do it better.  [The Los Angeles Times]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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