Bitter News, 10-12-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, which are not like other lame cancers”>hot like breast cancer—and not like other lame cancers:

• “Law student judged the most beautiful.” Yes, that’s right, 23-year-old Kuala Lumpur law student Thanuja Ananthan was crowned Miss World Malaysia 2009.  And that wasn’t even the beauty competition Rush Limbaugh is scheduled to judge.  [New Straights Times Online]

• Have you seen ‘Bitter Lawyer’ on Hulu yet? Because whoomp, there it is.  Our web series, Living the Dream, has been added as featured content on the popular video portal Hulu.com, which only enhances the anticipation of season 2, which is coming very soon.  [Bitter Lawyer on Hulu.com]

• With God as your lawyer, you can do no wrong.  Right, Cesar Millan?  Woof.  [Law Review]

• Legal celebrities are just like us!  Justice Sonia Sotomayor will be missing SCOTUS because she can’t get out of jury duty.  [The Onion]

• The chief justice of the California Supreme Court called California’s government “dysfunctional.” No word on why he was so polite and ginger.  But it maybe “raised questions about his ability to rule fairly in questions involving ballot initiatives.” In which case, that would be like the beans in the pot calling the pot “chili.” [The New York Times]

• “Germany is getting back two 400-year-old law books from a former US soldier who took them as souvenirs from a salt mine storage vault in the closing months of World War II.” The soldier feels it’s important to return them.  I guess he no longer needs them because, like other law books, maybe he has them in Kindle form now.  [Taipei Times]

• In the new “No Law Student Left Behind” initiative to create a country of shoulder-to-shoulder lawyers, a nationwide universal bar exam is gaining momentum and may be the biggest thing to fuck with post-3Ls’ heads since 1763.  Now, there is still that whole issue about state law.  But whatevs.  [The National Law Journal]

• Hello, and welcome to BigLaw Mexico, newly minted lawyer!  You’ve been assigned a huge case defending a druglord.  Pay no attention to people like Silvia Raquenel Villanueva, Mexico’s “Bulletproof Lawyer,” who defended accused drug lords til she was gunned down and brutally murdered in August.  Or prominent defense lawyer Americo Delgado who had his throat slit and drained.  Decline the case, you’re in danger; win the case, you’re in danger; lose the case, and you’re in the biggest danger.  You’re going to do great!  Narco-lawyers 4 eva.  [Los Angeles Times]

• Some very moody shots of the $380-million Ponzi artist the in Vanity Fair profile “Marc Dreier’s Crime of Destiny” from photographer Nigel Parry.  [Vanity Fair]

And here’s a shot of one of his firm’s former equity partners, Len Elmore, along with his likely sentiment:

• The Ponzi to the Polanksi: The famous director’s lawyer is saying that Roman is really depressed from sitting in jail for two weeks in Switzerland—especially since his bail appeal was rejected.  He was arrested as he arrived in the country to receive a lifetime achievement award, which he still might get.  But it won’t be for film.  It will be for his inappropriate interpretation of 70’s swinging culture.  [Washington Post]

• Adopt a future lawyer.  Then nurture and love her til she no longer wants to be a lawyer.  [Philly.com]

• Carly Simon’s latest album on the Hear, the Starbucks label, was supposed to be her swan song.  But it drowned.  So now she’s suing the company for mismanagement because she’s po’ and can’t retire.  Bet you’re glad that song isn’t about you.  [The New York Times]

• Former alcohol-regulating lawyer reinvented herself to become a different type of alcohol regulator.  She has launched her won wine label and is trying to crush competing industry titans’ grapes.  [Fort Green Blog @ NYT]

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