Bitter News, 11-18-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as awkward as Pam Anderson reasoning her sex tape to her kids:

• Start spreading the news—New York is the frivolous lawsuit capital of the world.  If you can’t get your lawsuit through there, you can’t win it anywhere. “[A]ccording to ‘An Empire Disaster,’ a report released this week by the Pacific Research Institute, lawsuit abuse is rampant in New York State.” With the second-highest tort losses of any state and the third-worst tort system in the country, big payouts (such as a $14.1 million award to a woman who laid down on the tracks of the NYC subway and was hit by a train in a failed suicide attempt) is killing the state’s economy.  “Tort lawsuits cost the state’s economy more than $16 billion in 2006.” Litigation is the new American dream.  [New York Post]

• Speaking of the New York court system, how can anyone ever even begin to defend Khalid Sheikh Mohammed?  Here are six possible defenses to argue.  Hopefully before he abducts Bloomberg’s daughter[Fox News]

News contintued below video.

• The top-10 reasons to go to law school.  Only question is where exactly do “That’s what you parents want” and “Alcoholics Anonymous is a superior networking tool” rank on the list.  Bottoms up, future lawyers.  [Law And More]

• “Michael Fricklas, Viacom’s general counsel, tells a group of Yale Law students that he’s a huge fan of fair use, doesn’t want to take down your YouTube mashup, and has no plans to start suing P2P users in federal courts—but he still loves DRM and ‘three strikes’ laws.” Insights into Big Content and fair use leading to the newest threat to the nation: Copyright wars.  [ARS Technica]

• It’s already gender genocide out there with mammography being ripped away from middle-aged ladies, but can we at least get some serious mammary representation up in the NYU Law Review already?  Geez.  [Feminist Law Professors]

• Enough about New Moon, what about the old, original one?  Who the hell owns that thing anyway?  What’s the deal with lunar law?  These are the things lawyers in Skadden’s New York office are thinking about because they’re so damn arrogant that they can.  (See next story.) [WSJ Law Blog]

• Skadden : Most arrogant law firm :: Law Shucks : Layoff analysis.  Discuss.  [Law Shucks]

• Being Mr. Free Speech Man is great—until that one “dustup” happens where you’re suddenly branded a hypocrite.  That’s the new stigma SCOTUS Justice Anthony Kennedy is trying to wipe clean.  In a New York Times piece published earlier this month, Justice Kennedy, who’s considered “one of the court’s most vigilant defenders of First Amendment values,” was speaking to students at a Manhattan private school, but when Kennedy’s office demanded approval of anything published about his speech in the school paper….well, it seemed like a bit of a double standard.  Which leaves a Supreme Court justice trying to defend himself to the media.  Just throw the new staffer under the bus, Kennedy.  That’s what anyone else would do.  Oh, look.  That’s what you did.  [The Wall Street Journal | WSJ Law Blog]

• Take my law license—please!  Florida attorney Scott Rothstein is asking to be disbarred after being caught selling nearly $1 billion worth of investments in fake legal settlements.  [NBC Miami]

• A Russian lawyer who was being held in custody as key witness in an ongoing legal battle died from pancreatitis when he was refused medial treatment.  Not all things can be cured with vodka.  [The Guardian]

• Rod, have I told you lately that you owe us money?  Music legends aren’t meshing well with law firms these days.  Just as the King of Pop’s estate was sued for a mere $1,419.70 in unpaid legal work, Rod Stewart now has a law firm wanting him to dig into the pocket of his tight leggings and pay up $3.3 million in outstanding legal fees.  [Associated Press]

• Ah, the power of a partner’s signature—here are legal employees who couldn’t resist forgery:

—Woman accused of stealing $76,000 by forging a partner’s signature on checks.  [Times-Tribune]

—Woman indicted for stealing nearly $1 million for her firm by writing herself checks.  [Fox4KC]

• An apple for these school teachers in legal pickles:

—High school teacher charged with asking a student to put a “hit” on another student.  [NY Daily News]

—Teachers sued for giving kids soccer balls that knocked out teeth during dodgeball.  [NY Daily News]

—High school teacher arrested for showing a 15-year-old student child porn.  [JSOnline]

—High school teacher sentenced to 12 years for sleeping with an underage TA.  [Tennessean.com]

• Things you pray your daughter doesn’t have a scare with at 15: Pregnancy, caught driving without a permit, getting stood up for Homecoming, being indicted and tried as an adult for killing the 9-year-old neighbor.  (Is this the face of a murderer?  All that space between the eyes?  I can kinda see it.) [Associated Press]

• Pluck your fiddle, Sen. Robert Byrd is officially the longest-serving lawmaker in congressional history.  Congratulations.  I.  Said.  CON-GRAT-U-LA-TIONS (you old coot).  [Wonkette]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as awkward as Pam Anderson reasoning her sex tape to her kids:

• Start spreading the news—New York is the frivolous lawsuit capital of the world.  If you can’t get your lawsuit through there, you can’t win it anywhere. “[A]ccording to ‘An Empire Disaster,’ a report released this week by the Pacific Research Institute, lawsuit abuse is rampant in New York State.” With the second-highest tort losses of any state and the third-worst tort system in the country, big payouts (such as a $14.1 million award to a woman who laid down on the tracks of the NYC subway and was hit by a train in a failed suicide attempt) is killing the state’s economy.  “Tort lawsuits cost the state’s economy more than $16 billion in 2006.” Litigation is the new American dream.  [New York Post]

• Speaking of the New York court system, how can anyone ever even begin to defend Khalid Sheikh Mohammed?  Here are six possible defenses to argue.  Hopefully before he abducts Bloomberg’s daughter[Fox News]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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