Bitter News, 11-5-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as odd as imaging Nicole Kidman as ‘raw’ and ‘dangerous’ in bed:

• Do you site scripture as much as case law?  Does reading 2 Timothy 1:8 give you ammunition to fight on the BigLaw battlefield?  Believe it or not, some lawyers and law students are God-fearing Christians.  But how do they reconcile their hopes of doing an evil partner’s bidding with the Lord’s work?  Does Jesus hate the Vault 100?  Looks like even the spiritually enlightened are unsure.  A post on the blog Christians in a Legal World asked, “Would you put your membership in Christian Legal Society (or any other ‘Christian’ organization) on your resume?” Which prompted The Believer’s Guide to Legal Issues author and attorney Stephen Bloom to take it a step further by asking, “Is being a born-again Christian believer really a career killer in the legal profession? If so, would you (or do you) suppress your Christian identity to advance your professional success?” Looks like the demigods over at AutoAdmit parted the seas with a stone-written ruling: “You can’t make it in biglaw if you’re that worried about what God would think.” Basically leveling BigLaw to a disaster of biblical proportions.  [The Believer’s Guide to Legal Issues]

• Whether you have God on your side or not, here’s how to make sure you secure enough work to meet your billable quota when competing against your fellow disciples in the firm.  [The Snark @ Fulton County Daily Report]

• Scandal and the City.  An IP litigation associate at Rope & Gray’s New York office, Arthur Cutillo, was arrested today in a federal crackdown on insider trading.  “[T]he 33-year-old Cutillo is alleged to have provided inside information on three transactions on which Ropes advised private equity clients.” [The Am Law Daily]

• “The former state Supreme Court Chief Justice Gene Franchini died Wednesday afternoon while addressing first-year law students at the University of New Mexico.” Yeah, not being anecdotal here about the nasty state of being a 1L.  He’s like dead dead.  [WSJ Law Blog]

• Bank of America, experiencing no dearth of legal controversy lately, has an additional, small technicality to add to the mix: “Brian T. Moynihan, was not authorized to practice law when he was named the company’s top lawyer last December.” [The Boston Globe]

• Hey, you know that whole ‘optimistic thing’ you have going on about BigLaw soon rebounding and everything being hunky dory again in law firm world?  Yeah, quit that.  You’re in legal fantasyland.  “[T]wo Altman Weil consultants … said lower salaries are here to stay.” Pamela H. Woldow and the firm’s compensation czar, James D. Cotterman, said it’s pretty much cool if you want to go ahead and kick the chair out—they think pay scales need to go “back a decade, to 1998.” Meanwhile, pre-recession Wall Street bonusws are back, bitches!  So smoke on that.  [Law.com]

• The law is for booze houndsDepressed ones.  And when you combine the binge drinking culture of universities with the pressures of law school, it’s good to have a reminder to sometimes be sober.  So tattoo this to your drinking forearm: “But if this state, and all citizens really, are to be properly served by reasoned and prepared advocates, our advocates must be mentally and physically coherent, otherwise a grave injustice is beset upon our society.” Cheers to coherency!  [The Volante Online]

• Being a lawyer is all about style, isn’t it?  Um, no and no and no.  So isn’t it nice when a few lawyers who give a flying s#!t about how they look step it up and make the rest of us look good?  Two men whom we’d like to thank for not wearing dri-FIT and Dockers:

1.  Associate Damian Wilmot (Goodwin Procter’s Boston office)

This 34-year-old Suffolk Law grad was named one of the 25 Most Stylish Bostonians of 2009 (not most stylish Bosnians, like I originally read it).  Pimp specs are his trademark.  [The Boston Globe]

2.  Attorney Deni Vallada-Neto

Even at 51, this D.C. lawyer puts his spin on fly fashion on and off hours enough to make the Street Style trend report. And to make his kids look neglected.  [The Washington Post—Picture #6]

• Having her headlights dimmed, fake-titted former beauty queen Carrie Prejean as been legally road blocked in her quest to legally take down the Miss California USA pageant for revealing she has breast implants.  The pageant lawyer’s trump card?  A hard-core sex tape starring Prejean.  One wiff of the tape being in TMZ’s hands (though they were too classy to release it?) sent Prejean fleeing from the table, dropping her multi-million-dollar lawsuit and walking away with nothing but $100K that goes straight to her lawyers and a publicist.  [New York Daily News]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as odd as imaging Nicole Kidman as ‘raw’ and ‘dangerous’ in bed:

• Do you site scripture as much as case law?  Does reading 2 Timothy 1:8 give you ammunition to fight on the BigLaw battlefield?  Believe it or not, some lawyers and law students are God-fearing Christians.  But how do they reconcile their hopes of doing an evil partner’s bidding with the Lord’s work?  Does Jesus hate the Vault 100?  Looks like even the spiritually enlightened are unsure.  A post on the blog Christians in a Legal World asked, “Would you put your membership in Christian Legal Society (or any other ‘Christian’ organization) on your resume?” Which prompted The Believer’s Guide to Legal Issues author and attorney Stephen Bloom takes it a step further by asking, “Is being a born-again Christian believer really a career killer in the legal profession? If so, would you (or do you) suppress your Christian identity to advance your professional success?” Looks like the demigods over at AutoAdmit parted the seas with a stone-written ruling: “You can’t make it in biglaw if you’re that worried about what God would think.” Basically leveling BigLaw to a disaster of biblical proportions.  [The Believer’s Guide to Legal Issues]

• Whether you have God on your side or not, here’s how to make sure you secure enough work to meet your billable quota when competing against your fellow disciples in the firm.  [The Snark @ Fulton County Daily Report]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

2 Comments

  1. ANOM10

    November 6, 2009 at 9:25 am

    SMART AND INFORMATIVE.  HOORAH FOR LAWYERS GETTING PAID FROM THE BEAUTY QUEEN.

  2. Stephen Bloom

    November 6, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Touche’.
    Nicely done.

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