Bitter News, 12-15-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as entertaining as The North Face suing The South Butt:

• Defamatory?  Outrageous?  Who’s a cancer who spreads ignorance and hate?  MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann has called out Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, and the smackdown challenge is about actually taking a defamatory accusation to court.  O’Reilly was disgusted by a recent Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episodes “where a character played by John Larroquette made this comment about a fictional inflammatory talk show host named Gordon Garrison” and compared him to O’Reilly.  O’Reilly lashed out on his program, The O’Reilly Factor, calling it “simply defamatory and outrageous” and shaming Executive Producer Dick Wolf.  In response, Olbermann took the opportunity on his show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, to challenge O’Reilly to put his money where his mouth is if he feels that way and actually sue. [THR, Esq.]

News continued below video.

• What?!?  You haven’t vomited in your mouth yet today??  Let’s help with that… Prominent Gray Plant Mooty lawyer Aaron F. Biber, who was in line to become president of the Minnesota State Bar Association, was charged Monday with giving a teenage boy alcohol in his own home and injuring him by anally raping and sodomizing him.  The police caught him when he contacted the boy to set up a new rendezvous appointment.  [Star Tribune]

• Biber isn’t the only lawyer who behaved badly in 2009.  There, unfortunately, are several.  [Avvo Blog]

• Powerhouse private-equity firm Cerberus is suing BigLaw’s Paul Hastings for $55 million worth of allegedly bad legal advice, bringing a 14-year attorney/client relationship to an awkward close.  [WSJ Law Blog]

WilmerHale associates will really have to be Superboys and Supergirls in order to earn the almighty dollar.  Their salaries have been hit with freeze breath, and lockstep is now kryptonite that’s been banished from the firm.  It’s now all about non-partner tiers and epic bonus battles.  [The Am Law Daily]

• What the judges are ruling on lately:

—Judge Donald Hafele ruled that a billionaire sex offender’s egg-shaped penis can’t be examined.  [UPI]

—Judge Susan Webber Wright ruled that all freethinking is fair in love and nativity scenes.  [AP]

—Judge Napoleon A. Jones Jr. was ruled dead.  He had ruled the Boy Scouts were a religious group.  [AP]

• “Writer-turned-law-student-turned-Boies-Schiller-associate” Elizabeth Wurtzel has expressed her opinions to Bitter Lawyer before: “Women could really make more inroads if they stuck it out, but a lot of them opt out, and that’s really embarrassing to me.” And we more than appreciate her candor.  Today, the Prozac Nation author writes to The Wall Street Journal, chiding Yale law school graduates with an offer from Cravath for not choosing to accept the $80K one-year deferral package when it was offered to them earlier this year.  Are they really “the best and the brightest” if they can’t see that decent pay to “surf and sunbathe, or go forth and save the world” is an offer worth taking?  Wurtzel opines that it represents a lack of imagination.  And to be honest, sometimes ivy league types can’t discriminate between the white shoes, the white light and which to follow.  [WSJ Law Blog | Wall Street Journal]

• A vote for Bitter Lawyer is a vote for America.  [ABA Journal]

• Octo-dad Jon Gosselin, AKA “the most photographed man in America,” is broke and can’t pay his legal bills.  So, I guess this is what feels like to be totally numb about someone.  [Fox News]

• It’s a golf scramble—both Tiger Woods and wife Elin are reportedly lawyering up.  While an alleged mistress dukes it out in court, Woods is going full-service by enlisting Marty Singer for all his recent legal needs.  While Elin is a little more focused and in the market for a divorce lawyer.  [THR, Esq. | Examiner]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as entertaining as The North Face suing The South Butt:

• Defamatory?  Outrageous?  Who’s a cancer who spreads ignorance and hate?  MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann has called out Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, and the smackdown challenge is about actually taking a defamatory accusation to court.  O’Reilly was disgusted by a recent Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episodes “where a character played by John Larroquette made this comment about a fictional inflammatory talk show host named Gordon Garrison” and compared him to O’Reilly.  O’Reilly lashed out on his program, The O’Reilly Factor, calling it “simply defamatory and outrageous” and shaming Executive Producer Dick Wolf.  In response, Olbermann took the opportunity on his show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, to challenge O’Reilly to put his money where his mouth is if he feels that way and actually sue. [THR, Esq.]

• What?!?  You haven’t vomited in your mouth yet today??  Let’s help with that… Prominent Gray Plant Mooty lawyer Aaron F. Biber, who was in line to become president of the Minnesota State Bar Association, was charged Monday with giving a teenage boy alcohol in his own home and injuring him by anally raping and sodomizing him.  The police caught him when he contacted the boy to set up a new rendezvous appointment.  [Star Tribune]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

2 Comments

  1. EinMKE

    December 15, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Quit making empty promises about a second season of LTD, and MAYBE people would vote for you…

  2. SFLawyer

    December 15, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    Hey give them a break EinMKE!  We are in a recession/depression, all depends if youre out of a job or not to define the econ mess everyones facing. 

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