Bitter News, 12-17-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are like a topless flasher getting hit by a distracted driver:

• What do you get for the person who has everything…including a bad marriage?  A British law firm is offering divorce gift certificates for the holidays.  So every kiss may begin with Kay, but now every divorce can begin with Lloyd Platt & Company[Digital Journal]

• The legal case against the woman who was arrested and accused of offering an undercover police officer various sex acts in return for World Series tickets was charged with prostitution and promoting prostitution today.  And she never even got to first base.  [Philly.com]

• I like the nightlife…I like to boogie… So what’s going down in law firm land with holiday shindigs this year?  Well, it started off with one of the most profitable firms of 2009, Weil, Gotshal & Manges, had a celebration that was more law-vish than lavish.  So subdued is the name of the game this year.  The best you can hope for is a little drama when laid-off associated show up, as suggested. [Above the Law]

• How do you make a verb like “differed” sound even worse?  Add the prefix “re.” Associates at firms like Nixon Peabody are being re-differed as far into 2010 as possible.  [The Am Law Daily]

• A couple is asking the Vermont Supreme Court to “carve out a new legal doctrine that a dog’s owners can sue for emotional distress and loss of companionship, just like parents can when they lose children.” Their dog, Shadow, was shot on a neighbor’s yard in 2003.  And I don’t think you understand how different Shadow was from any other dog you’ve ever met.  Yadda, yadda—more professions dog owners make about how their pet is exceptional.  [Phily.com]

• When the internet closes a door, it opens a Christmas window?  The law offices of Bayless & Stokes no longer needed their first-floor law library after succumbing to the digital age, so they turned it into a Christmas tchotchke shop, which picks up business at a time of year when the firm is traditionally dead.  No word on if the managing partner works the weekends as Santa, but they’ve got it all from ornaments to rape defense.  [Houston Chronicle]

• What the hell are you staring at?  Just vote for Bitter Lawyer already.  [ABA Journal]

• What came first: Spouse-cheating online dating service AshleyMadison.com or the actual Ashley Madison?  A great question for former lawyer Noel Biderman, AKA The King of Infidelity[THR, Esq.]

• Here are 10 ways to make sure you won’t get that job you’re lucky enough to be interviewing for.  Omitted is #11: Maybe you just suck.  [Career Realism]

• India is sort of overpopulated enough, which is probably why the High Court ruled that foreign law firms can’t open there.  [Bloomberg]

• You’re not the only ones worried about final exams, law students.  Your profs are a little scurred too.  Scurred that you’re going to blow them up.  [Legal Blog Watch]

• Here are the dumbest moments in business in 2009.  And a law firm somewhere/somehow is behind just about every one of them.  [CNN Money]

• Not exactly law related, but here’s a look into the world of VIP host(esses) in Vegas who are in charge of making sure your every whim is met—if you’re rich enough.  Dare to dream.  [Fox News]

• And one off-topic item—a drunk four-year-old is accused of stealing a neighbor’s Christmas presents.  Seriously.  (Video below.)

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are like a topless flasher getting hit by a distracted driver:

• What do you get for the person who has everything…including a bad marriage?  A British law firm is offering divorce gift certificates for the holidays.  So every kiss may begin with Kay, but now every divorce can begin with Lloyd Platt & Company[Digital Journal]

• The legal case against the woman who was arrested and accused of offering an undercover police officer various sex acts in return for World Series tickets was charged with prostitution and promoting prostitution today.  And she never even got to first base.  [Philly.com]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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