Bitter News, 12-18-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that celebrate Homer Simpson & family turning 20:

• In ‘Bama, football rules…the court system.  On Wednesday, we mentioned Above the Law’s coverage of an Alabama lawyer who asked a judge to reschedule a case so everyone could be available to attend the BCS National Championship game on January 7, starring the Alabama Crimson Tide and the Texas Longhorns.  The plaintiff’s counsel disagreed with the request saying, “Some things are more important than football.” But apparently there aren’t. Circuit Judge Dan King announced Wednesday he would grant a delay.  As it was said, “They really seem to have their act together down there.”

[Deadspin | The Christian Science Monitor]

• And before you get any big ideas that football is America’s celebrated, tolerated addiction, it’s important to remember that you can be legally fired for playing Fantasy Football at work.  Just ask the four Texas fans from Fidelity Investments who just were.  [CBS MoneyWatch]

• Since Tiger Woods is on Santa’s (and every white-collar housewives’) naughty list this year, here are some of the lawyers who are trying to be nice to their clients and help out in the situation:

—Elin has picked celeb divorce attorney Sorrell Trope to guide her sleigh to Splitsville. [NY Daily News]

—Jessica Simpon’s lawyer fights to make clear that Simpson never sat on Tiger’s lap.  [Celebuzz]

—Tiger’s doctor’s lawyer denies performance-enhancing drugs in Tig’s stocking.  [NY Daily News]

—Lawyer Gloria Allred is playing “Clarence” to Tiger’s alleged love child’s momma.  [Toronto Sun]

—Lawyers try to explain whether Tiger made a deal to pose for Men’s Fitness in order to avoid a Rudolph-red hot sex scandal in the National Enquire in 2007.  [LA BizJournal]

• The titillating Tigergate gossip emerging daily has made us all, at someone point, fanaticize about VIP Vegas treatment.  So starting a law-related headline with “What Happens in Vegas” ain’t a bad idea.  (Because we love when it doesn’t stay in Vegas—or involve us…) Here’s the deal on the firms involved in the year’s craziest bankruptcy of Station casinos.  [The Am Law Daily]

• Didja vote yet?  [ABA Journal]

• What the hell did we say before?  No, no, no.  That must have been a misunderstanding.  The law firm model is perfectly fine.  Everyone back to their desks now.  [The Legal Itelligencer]

• Set your TiVos and cancel your Netflix, “the Ninth Circuit on Thursday approved an experimental program that could lead to TV coverage of a lawsuit challenging California’s same-sex marriage ban [Prop 8].  Yes, that lawsuit, the one that stands to star heavyweights Ted Olson and David Boies.” The one that Elizabeth Wurtzel is working on.  “Appeals court Chief Judge Alex Kozinski said the idea is to improve ‘public understanding of our judicial processes and (enhance) confidence in the rule of law.’” And to be able to hear Ted Olson say, “Bring it!” And for David Boies to reply, “It’s already been broughten.” [WSJ Law Blog]

• A North Carolina judge has ruled that laws limiting a sex offender’s ability to attend church are unconstitutional.  Whether or not they can go to Sunday School is hopefully a different story.  [Winston-Salem Journal]

Brian Moynihan, Notre Dame Law graduate and man who has served as Bank of America’s head of consumer banking, general counsel and chief of investment banking twice since November 2008, became the new head honcho—CEO.  [Bloomberg]

• Firms with no representation in Boston are interested in expanding into New England’s biggest city because of all the legal talent that’s available due area firms’ lay offs and salary freezes.  Younger attorneys in Boston are currently facing their third year of no pay increases.  “This week, two of Boston’s largest law firms, WilmerHale and Ropes & Gray, said first-year associates will receive salaries of $160,000 next year, a figure that set a record high in 2007, but has remained unchanged since the economic slump began that year.” Cue the Jaws theme while Morgan Lewis swims in.  [The Boston Globe]

• Sit tight in jail, alleged swindler Allen Stanford. U.S. District Judge David Hittner said his criminal trial won’t begin til January 2011.  [Reuters]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that celebrate Homer Simpson & family turning 20:

• In ‘Bama, football rules…the court system.  On Wednesday, we mentioned Above the Law’s coverage of an Alabama lawyer who asked a judge to reschedule a case so everyone could be available to attend the BCS National Championship game on January 7, starring the Alabama Crimson Tide and the Texas Longhorns.  The plaintiff’s counsel disagreed with the request saying, “Some things are more important than football.” But apparently there aren’t. Circuit Judge Dan King announced Wednesday he would grant a delay.  As it was said, “They really seem to have their act together down there.”

[Deadspin | The Christian Science Monitor]

• And before you get any big ideas that football is America’s celebrated, tolerated addiction, it’s important to remember that you can be legally fired for playing Fantasy Football at work.  Just ask the four Texas fans from Fidelity Investments who just were.  [CBS MoneyWatch]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. Tiger Lady

    December 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    Good read tonight, thanks.

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