Bitter News, 12-21-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom wishing you a happy shortest day of the year:

• Who doesn’t love a headline like: “Tennessee lawyer Mark Lambert bites off part of Greg Herbers’ nose during fight over bathroom stall?” Unless you’re Greg, who was fought tooth-and-nose for the crapper.  Probably has something to do with why he’s suing for $5 million and claiming he may need a prosthetic sniffer.  As WMCTV points out, Lambert went all Hannibal Lecter because two guys (one being Herbers) were in a stall together, but “not using the bathroom.” Ahhh, subtext.  [New York Daily News]

`

• Just so we’re perfectly clear—associates are not having a banner year.  (When the words most associated with your profession are “bread line,” 2009 wasn’t for you.) And if you still have a job, a reminder: “Law firms including Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP and Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP cut year-end bonuses for first-year lawyers by as much as 71 percent.” Not sure if you hadn’t heard or were on the fence.  [Bloomberg]

• Remember how we tried to convince you, law students, that your professors are just as frightened about final exams as you?  Well, here’s why it was worth mentioning: A visiting NYU visiting professor used questions on his contracts exam that he had distributed to other classes before, creating an unfair advantage for some students.  Hilarity ensues.  [Above the Law]

• 2010 will be a great year to die!  It doesn’t look like Congress is going to pass a new estate tax law by the end of the year, which means there will be no estate tax at all starting in the new year.  And you thought Cash for Clunkers was awesome.  It’s news so good, you could just….  You get it.  [U.S. News & World Report]

• A Chicago lawyer turned to a reality game show because he was so desperate for money, a new career, to feel something—ANYTHING…(I’m not exactly sure why people starve themselves on TV.) University Chicago Law School graduate Jaison Robinson came close, but ultimately didn’t win the most recent season of CBS’s Survivor.  [Chicago Sun Times]

• Tis the season to vote for Bitter Lawyer.  [ABA Journal]

• You know you’re feeling better after a cold or flu when you get your appetite back.  Can the same be said for corporate clients re-whetting their appetites to sue like crazy during a recession?  BigLaw firms like Dechert L.L.P. seem to think so.  [Philly.com]

• “The lawyer from hell” won a posthumous $46 million judgment.  Muahahah.  [UPI.com]

• Who are you calling “unaccountable,” chump?  (It’s all good, homies—didn’t mean to “impugn” you.) Eighteen appellate judges are miffed that Mayor Bloomberg’s top legal adviser, City Attorney Michael Cardozo, made a speech earlier this month saying, “Judges must be made more accountable.” But Cardozo says he didn’t mean it.  [New York Post]

• How about a little less focus on the “Wise Latina” tchotchkes and a little more focus on SCOTUS’ possible reconsideration of the lab testimony requirement?  [The New York Times]

• Love this.  Happy holiday!  [Courtoons]

Check out more news from previous days.

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

Buy Bitter Lawyer merchandise.

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom wishing you a happy shortest day of the year:

• Who doesn’t love a headline like: “Tennessee lawyer Mark Lambert bites off part of Greg Herbers’ nose during fight over bathroom stall?” Unless you’re Greg, who was fought tooth-and-nose for the crapper.  Probably has something to do with why he’s suing for $5 million and claiming he may need a prosthetic sniffer.  As WMCTV points out, Lambert went all Hannibal Lecter because two guys (one being Herbers) were in a stall together, but “not using the bathroom.” Ahhh, subtext.  [New York Daily News]

• Just so we’re perfectly clear—associates are not having a banner year.  (When the words most associated with your profession are “bread line,” 2009 wasn’t for you.) And if you still have a job, a reminder: “Law firms including Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP and Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP cut year-end bonuses for first-year lawyers by as much as 71 percent.” Not sure if you hadn’t heard or were on the fence.  [Bloomberg]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. www.pinkshoelawyer.blogspot.com

    December 22, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    Unlike Lambert, when I stumbled into the same nonsense in the basement womens’ in Stiteler Hall (Penn Campus), I ran like hell.
    And didn’t have sex for months.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>