Bitter News, 12-22-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom and a suggestion of Christmas sex positions to survive the holidays:

• Biggest gift to lawyers this holiday season?  Tiger Woods’ affairs.  Hush money and pre-nups to negotiate mean jingle bells for attorneys.  Lavely & Singer is singing deck the halls with boughs of money cash money.  [Bloomberg]

• The decade’s biggest legal stories.  Ten years of thrills, chills and lawsuits.  [National Law Journal]

• You know you’ve had a bad day as a law firm receptionist when you try to help someone who walks into your lobby and your assistance literally makes him shoot himself in the head.  [AP via AZCentral.com]

• Girls who love girls like their franks fried.  “A former associate plans to file a wide-ranging $50 million lawsuit against Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson, accusing the firm of denying her a promotion to partner because she is a lesbian and of doing nothing to stop higher-ups from harassing her.” [The Am Law Daily]

• There are lots of excessive sentences in US jurisprudence.  So who cares if those who do the white-collar crime get a little longer time?  Assuage your concerns by buying one of Scott Rothstein’s Oriental rugs[Reuters Blog]

• We asked in February: Is UC Irvine the new Harvard? The law school’s pilot class started in August—with no out-of-pocket expense.  The cost of being one of the first student at Erwin Chemerinsky’s new law school pet project was $0 for all three years.  Now the school announced that its second class will be treated half as well—with 50% scholarships offered to everyone accepted.  [89.3 KPCC]

• But remember, while you can go to law school at UC Irvine next year for half price, you can not go to law school at all for free.  [Forbes.com]

• Flex your Bitter Lawyer voting muscle.  [ABA Journal]

• Hello!!  You’re in an American jail, so you’re going to have to speak American.  Duh!  The defense attorney for Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, the Army psychiatrist charged in the deadly shooting at Fort Hood, says his client’s religious rights are being violated because he isn’t allowed to pray with his family in Arabic over the phone while in custody.  [Houston Chronicle]

• Let’s be clear: Tom Cruise is not gay.  And a lot of lawyers have made a lot of money defending that.  Today the tables turned on the un-gay leading man when Michael Davis Sapir, who Cruise sued in 2001 for defamation for allegedly circulating homosexual rumors to the media, is suing Cruise, his attorney Bert Fields, and jailed private investigator Anthony Pellicano.  Sapir alleges that his phone was wiretapped during the course of his 2001 lawsuit that Cruise had filed against him.  [Access Hollywood]

• While some people stress just trying to make Law Review, others anoint their resumes with the job title of “Supreme Court Clerk,” which makes life pretty sweet.  (Remember: It doesn’t suck to be Tara Kole.) While it opens the door to a treasure trove of career choices, “a new [Vanderbilt] study has found that former clerks have started to take jobs that reflect the ideologies of the justices for whom they worked.” [The New York Times]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom and a suggestion of Christmas sex positions to survive the holidays:

• Biggest gift to lawyers this holiday season?  Tiger Woods’ affairs.  Hush money and pre-nups to negotiate mean jingle bells for attorneys.  Lavely & Singer is singing deck the halls with boughs of money cash money.  [Bloomberg]

• The decade’s biggest legal stories.  Ten years of thrills, chills and lawsuits.  [National Law Journal]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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