Bitter News, 12-9-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as sad as a lawyer with a “Legal Wills” booth at a flea market:

• Former beauty queen Kumari Fulbright, accused of kidnapping and torturing her ex-boyfriend, plead guilty to conspiracy to kidnapping and aggravated assault.  And the kicker: “At the time of the alleged crime [December 2007], Fulbright was in the middle of her second year of law school at The University of Arizona and a volunteer clerk for U.S District Judge Raner Collins.” So I think that makes her Kumari Not-So-Bright.  Here are few of Kumari’s many face… [CBS News]

• We possibly put the cart before the horse with our use of Eliot Sptizer as a basis for ways Tiger Woods can regain his on-top image.  But Eliot came clean and eliminated doubt, so Tiger is still facing an image battle as long as the facts, rumors and speculation churning around are unconfirmed.  (Fact: Yahoo! has confirmed that Tiger’s turmoil has been better for search traffic than Michael Jackson’s death.) And Eric Turkewitz points out how “in the process he opens up a veritable bar exam full of questions.” So he issue-spots the criminal, family, contract, First Amendment, intellectual property, sports and ethics red flags at hand.  [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

• In addition, here are a few other possible legal issues Woods faces:

—Will “morals” clauses impact Tiger’s endorsements?  [The Business Insider]

—Is it legal for Tiger Woods to pay hush money?  [E! News]

—Is Tiger’s marriage a fake, as a yet-to-be-identified mistress’ lawyer claims?  [Hollywood Gossip]

—For you to remember: Text messages are digital lipstick on the collar.  [The New York Times]

—Is retaining Lavely & Singer (headed by famous attorney Marty Singer, who’s currently dealing with Nicolas Cage’s “lavish lifestyle” lawsuit) the right answer? [Wall Street Journal]

• Four firms and a funeral.  While we all bellyache about the retracting legal market in a severe recession from which law firms may never recover, here are four firms that were revealed to have partner billing rates in excess of $1,000 an hour.  [Larry Bodine Law Marketing Blog]

• Hey, “it’s not personal, it’s business.” Right?  RIGHT?  Fuck it—you’re ugly and you’re fired.  Pack your things.  [The American Lawyer]

• Law school applications are up, the legal job market is shrinking and 21% of law students say they’re sorry they went to law school.  You do the math.  [The Business Insider]

• Plenty of you love to hate on Bitter Lawyer’s Law Firm 10 for her explicit dating issues.  But it sounds like a lot of you lady lawyers are actually more like her than you’d care to admit.  So here are Dr. Alex Benzer’s top seven reasons why “smart, educated, lovely female friends remain single, alone and lonely in spite of their best efforts.” [The Huffington Post]

• Is this thing on?  If you love the bitter you could at least vote for the Bitter.  Take a minute and give us a vote on the ABA’s annual list of the 100 best Blawgs.  [ABA Journal]

• Massachusetts attorney general Martha M. Coakley will represent the Democrats in a special election on January 19 for Edward M. Kennedy’s United States Senate seat, possibly making her the first female Massachusetts has ever elected senator.  She faces Republican candidate Scott P. Brown, who’s a state senator and also a lawyer.  The race is hugely stacked in Coakley’s favor; the state hasn’t elected a Republican to the U.S. Senate in 37 years.  [The New York Times]

• “A civil liberties law firm has filed suit against the state of Texas on behalf of eight eyebrow-threading entrepreneurs.” It’s certain to be a fight more painful than waxing.  [San Antonio Business Journal]

• Prominent Los Angeles attorney Jeffrey Tidus was shot and killed on the lawn of his home Monday night.  “Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department officials called the death highly suspicious.” And that seems like a good call.  [Los Angeles Times]

• Why are immigrant and minority parents always shoving the American dream of law school down their damn kids’ throats?  Lawyer/blogger “Angel,” who is “of brown origin,” refreshingly discusses.  [But I Did Everything Right!]

Check out more news from previous days.

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as sad as a lawyer with a “Legal Wills” booth at a flea market:

• Former beauty queen Kumari Fulbright, accused of kidnapping and torturing her ex-boyfriend, plead guilty to conspiracy to kidnapping and aggravated assault.  And the kicker: “At the time of the alleged crime [December 2007], Fulbright was in the middle of her second year of law school at University of Arizona law student and a volunteer clerk for U.S District Judge Raner Collins.” So I think that makes her Kumari Not-So-Bright.  Here are few of Kumari’s many face… [CBS News]

• We possibly put the cart before the horse with our use of Eliot Sptizer as a basis for ways Tiger Woods can regain his on-top image.  But Eliot came clean and eliminated doubt, so Tiger is still facing an image battle as long as the facts, rumors and speculation churning around are unconfirmed.  (Fact: Yahoo! has confirmed that Tiger’s turmoil has been better for search traffic than Michael Jackson’s death.) And Eric Turkewitz points out how “in the process he opens up a veritable bar exam full of questions.” So he issue spots the criminal, family, contract, First Amendment, intellectual property, sports and ethics law issues at hand.  [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. SFLawyer

    December 9, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    waxing is painful good analogy

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