Bitter News, 2-10-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as helpful as lingerie tips (and poses) from Victoria Secret models:

• Conan’s Tonight Show contract has been revealed.  And it turns out [big “dun, dun, dun” reveal music here] that “NBC did define ‘Tonight’ as the series that airs at 11:35 as far back as 2002.” There was also some other nice language in the 2004 deal: It expressly mentions what money Conan lost waiting for the show. “According to the contract, O’Brien ‘could earn more than double the contracted salary for [“Late Night”] if [O’Brien] were to enter into a contract with a third party at this time.’” Which makes Coco’s legal team of litigator Patty Glaser and deal lawyer Leigh Brecheen look like heros and NBC’s litigator Scott Edelman and the team from Gibson Dunn & Crutcher look like zeros.  [THR, Esq.]

• Repent!  “Snowmageddon” is upon us!  For some, it’s a lawyer snow day, and for law students at the University of Maryland, it means a whole snow week[Volokh]

• “U.S. News & World Report’s decision to start ranking law firms along the lines of its much-maligned law school rankings has prompted the American Bar Association to investigate the magazine’s methods.” Never mind the endless annual bullshit, stress and entirely misleading efforts that result from the publication’s numerical ranking of law schools.  But now that the Big Daddy firms are in the spotlight, the ABA cares enough to raise an eyebrow.  As law prof Brian Leiter said, “Everyone with any knowledge of education or statistics or survey methods who has examined the U.S. News rankings has come to the same conclusion: They are irresponsible, misleading and provide consumer misinformation.” [The National Law Journal]

• “Exsqueeze me?” said BigLaw.  Big Firms are balking at the idea of “revamping” the law school OCI recruiting process in a way that would restrict making offers to students until January—nearly five months after OCIs have begun.  They also weren’t hot for the idea of assembling Summers by drawing out of a hat, choosing teams kick-ball style or instituting a draft.  [New York Law Journal]

• “Moving Forward” may be Toyota’s now-hugely mocked tagline, but they’re trying to put the first round of 41 class-action lawsuits over sudden acceleration problems to a halt, “saying the plaintiffs have no basis to sue.” This would probably be a good time to get their CEO in front of Congress for a hearing.  Oh, good—that’s happening.  [BusinessWeek]

• Lawyers are pissed because they want John Yoo’s feat held to the fire.  But we’re kinda sick of hearing about him already.  K?  [San Francisco Chronicle]

• “Rapper Lil Wayne’s sentencing for possessing a gun has been postponed to allow him to have dental surgery.” His dentist has been out the country, ya’ll.  Sure you can understand.  He reportedly didn’t say a word in court.  Other than, “No homo.” [BBC News]

• Lil Wayne says God is putting him on his journey to prison—probably for lyric inspiration—but one youth pastor is suing a California Westfield mall for having him arrested after he initiated a conversation about God with three shoppers.  Do super-awkward conversations with strangers shopping for sweaters at Lane Bryant violate free speech?  [Fox News]

• Pssp!  Hey.  Hillary.  Do you think your husband could do for my client who is being held in Haiti what he did for those Asian women in North Korea last year?  That’d be great.  Thx.  [Newswest9]

Update: Sorry, Charlies, not going to happen.  [CNN]



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• It’s fortuitous and heartwarming that the upcoming Winter Olympics are enjoying a ton of well-timed news headlines.  It’s great PR to get everyone hyped about the events!  For starters, America’s best hope at skiing medals will be competing as a gimp, then there’s the fact that there’s no snow in Vancouver, and finally, former Olympic figure skater darling Nancy Kerrigan’s dad’s death was just ruled a homicide.  [The New York Times]

• Be more like “The Dude” and stop planning your career already, neurotic idiot.  [SolictR]

• Finally, we’re pretty pumped to announce that new episodes of Living the Dream are coming soon to Bitter Lawyer.  Nick’s back in the belly of Sullivan & Moore.  [Bitter Lawyer]

Check out more news from previous days.

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as helpful as lingerie tips (and poses) from Victoria Secret models:

• Conan’s Tonight Show contract has been revealed.  And it turns out [big “dun, dun, dun” reveal music here] that “NBC did define ‘Tonight’ as the series that airs at 11:35 as far back as 2002.” There was also some other nice language in the 2004 deal: It expressly mentions what money Conan lost waiting for the show. “According to the contract, O’Brien ‘could earn more than double the contracted salary for [“Late Night”] if [O’Brien] were to enter into a contract with a third party at this time.’” Which makes Coco’s legal team of litigator Patty Glaser and deal lawyer Leigh Brecheen look like heros and NBC’s litigator Scott Edelman and the team from Gibson Dunn & Crutcher look like zeros.  [THR, Esq.]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

8 Comments

  1. Guano Dubango

    February 10, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    No body reads this stuff.  Get some good stuff instead of this stuff. Concentrate on the features.  Get LF 10 to tell us what she is doing.  Maybe humping Matt Richardson my hero!  Come on man, let’s get it on, OK?

  2. BL1Y

    February 10, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Actually, I read most of the Bitter News posts.

  3. Evil Lawyer

    February 10, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    I read the NEWS too, even if Guano D only stops here in his perennial, pathetic pursuit of Alma. I would appreciate more frequent pieces by LF10 and Matt Richardson, since I stopped looking at other columns. You got us all hooked! Deliver!

  4. Big Jim

    February 10, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Evil Lawyer: haven’t you figured out yet that guano and alma are the same person.  sad.

  5. Duderino

    February 10, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    I liked that temp guy.  That whole hitting all the buttons on the elevator so the fired associate could enjoy the building longer was hilarious.  Plus…whale tail….

  6. Snow angel

    February 11, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Who cares what you like Guano.  Your mind seems to be getting smaller as you get older and I’m sure another part of your anatomy is also.  Grow Guano, grow from love..

  7. Evil Lawyer

    February 11, 2010 at 11:06 am

    I thought YOU and Alma were the same person!

  8. Son of Guano

    February 11, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Snow Angel. Guano senior is trying to get love to grow. It has so far eluded him. But he is trying. That is preferable to your dry and dismissive comment which is probably indicative of a pervasive aridity in your personal life as well.

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