Bitter News, 2-11-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as sad as Jersey Shore’s Vinny missing his chance to go to Yale:

• Forget the ironic fact that Michael Jackson’s autopsy report revealed that the singer actually had Vitiligo—a man still stands to be blamed for his death.  And that man, Dr. Conrad Murray, may have to appear in court before “a black-dominated downtown LA jury.” But his lawyer doesn’t think it’ll be an issue.  Perhaps it’ll be John Mayer’s week for jury duty.  (Welcome to the mea culpa tour.)

[Monsters and Critics]

• Meanwhile, the California State Bar disciplined Jackson family “lawyer” Brian Oxman (#5 on our list) by ordering him to go to ethics school.  [Showbiz 411]

• “God save us from the moralizing lawyers.” Not that there’s anything wrong with being a lawyer.  Some of my best friends are lawyers.  In fact, my brother?  He’s a lawyer.  [NJ.com]

• Love this article’s intro regarding Snowverkill 2010: “When Cooley Law School student Andrew Kama made a cheesecake for a Haiti fundraiser, the 24-year-old probably never imagined he’d have to carry it through more than half a foot of snow to get it to Wednesday’s bake sale.” [LSJ.com]

• If keeping your nose out of lawyer and former President wannabe John Edwards’ life is wrong, who wants to be right?  Which is why it’s awesome that even the Wall Street Journal Law Blog got in on the fun today.  The release of a tell-all book by Andrew Young, Edwards’ former campaign aide who, to protect his boss, originally claimed to be the father of Edwards’ love child, has turned worlds upside down—including his own.  While Edwards prepares for his new beach life, Young turned over a sex tape starring (a well endowed) Edwards and mistress Rielle Hunter to a judge and was questioned by Hunter’s attorneys yesterday.  And to top it off, Elizabeth Edwards is allegedly threatening to sue Young for breaking up her marriage.  “Is there a tort that allows someone to sue for breaking up a marriage?  Yes, as it turns out.  Seven states, including North Carolina, have on the books an ‘alienation of affection’ tort which, it seems, allows someone to sue someone else for, well, breaking up a marriage.” A Charlotte divorce lawyer weighs in.  [WSJ Law Blog]

Here, lawyer/journalist/Bitter Lawyer interviewee Bob Woodruff interviews Young on 20/20:

• The ten most powerful partners at Cravath.  Mega power.  Lofty prestige.  Big, huge, bulging, swinging…books of business.  [Business Insider]

• If BigLaw partners are broken down into “Finders, Minders and Grinders,” then all of those Cravath cats would be proper “Finders,” right?  Well, I ain’t telling Evan Chesler he isn’t.  [Law Shucks]

• Erin Andrews (the real one, not the law firm one) is merely a face in the crowd.  She was one of 16 females, including other sportscasters, who perv Michael Barrett videotaped.  Her peephole stalker was sentenced to 27 months in jail.  But Andrews and her lawyer, Marshall Grossman, don’t think that’s enough.  She wants $335,000 in restitution.  [New York Daily News]

• If you and famed litigator David Boies aren’t quite at that level where you’d give him sexy pics for Valentine’s Day, go with his next favorite gift: Orange M&M’s.  [New York Post]

• So you’re not dating David Boies, but you are dating a lawyer?  Good luck.  Just because they’re from one of “the most datable professions” doesn’t mean jack.  You’ll need tips.  Like how to always site your sources and backup arguments up with empirical evidence.  It’s just part of loving the winning personality of lawyer.  But, if you’re a lawyer dating a civilian, you’ll need to read this.  And realize that, no matter what, you’re a tool.  [Avvo via ABA Journal]

• Some lawyers don’t love other people.  They love lawyering.  That’s what they celebrate on Valentine’s Day.  “And we’re not talking about ordinary job satisfaction; we’re talking about passionate, jump-out-of-bed-in-the-morning love of our work and chosen profession.” Let the good times roll.  [The Legal Intelligencer]

• Drafting a settlement demand isn’t just a dreaded job requirement, it’s an artful craft.  And one that should never include the phrase “in an effort to suck money out of your client.” [The Namby Pamby]

Check out more news from previous days.

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as sad as Jersey Shore’s Vinny missing his chance to go to Yale:

• Forget the ironic fact that Michael Jackson’s autopsy report revealed that the singer actually had Vitiligo—a man still stands to be blamed for his death.  And that man, Dr. Conrad Murray, may have to appear in court before “a black-dominated downtown LA jury.” But his lawyer doesn’t think it’ll be an issue.  Perhaps it’ll be John Mayer’s week for jury duty.  (Welcome to the mea culpa tour.)

[Monsters and Critics]

• Love this article’s intro regarding Snowverkill 2010: “When Cooley Law School student Andrew Kama made a cheesecake for a Haiti fundraiser, the 24-year-old probably never imagined he’d have to carry it through more than half a foot of snow to get it to Wednesday’s bake sale.” [LSJ.com]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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