Bitter News, 2-22-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that say “potato/pahtahto” and “public interest work/law firm life”:

• When life gives you orange spray tans, make Jersey Shore-ade.  Unless you’re one of the dudes that tussled with a cast member on camera.  “An attorney for Stephen Izzo Jr. will ask a judge to ban distribution of a DVD set of the show’s first season.” He’s one of the guys whose face Ronnie beat on outside a nightclub.  “Ronnie Ortiz, who has been charged with aggravated assault, should not profit from his criminal conduct.” Too bad he’s already sort of laughing all the way to the bank.  And he has a newly leaked homophobic rant.  And season two is going to be more Guido-ier and epic-er than ever.  Good luck, Izzo.  [NJ.com]

• D. Howard Stitzel III was once living large as a small-town lawyer.  Lots of toys and power—til one day it all dried up, he got divorced, fell behind and ended up behind the eight ball of debt.  Now, his lady friend, Dorice “DeeDee” Moore (doesn’t get any better than that name), has been arrested for murdering an area lottery winner—and the body turned up in the back yard of Stitzel’s law practice.  Things aren’t quite looking up for ol’ D. Howard.  [TheLedger.com]

• One Columbia law student is a total gym slut.  Or, as the paper calls it, “thrifty.” Hard-bodied Julia Neyman, who blogs about her attempt to work out for a year for free here, is so desperate to not pay any fitness expenses (because she’s a poor law student!) that she’ll travel to any gym in the five boroughs to get free admission and workout classes by milking new member recruitment deals.  Oh, and she also uses her feminine wiles to try and negotiate longer-term passes.  But, as we’ve discussed, that doesn’t always work out for wannabe litigators.  [New York Daily News]

• Ain’t no BigLaw placement like Northwestern’s BigLaw placement because Northwestern’s BigLaw placement don’t stop!  The National Law Journal ranked it #1 today on its list of schools that “sent the highest percentage of graduates to first-year jobs at the country’s largest firms.” See the whole top ten.  Ain’t no Harvard or Yale to be seen.  Gasp.  [WSJ Law Blog]

• Makeda Jahnesta Marley, the youngest of reggae God Bob Marley’s 13 “acknowledged children,” needs a new lawyer to represent her on charges of growing pot at home.  She says she spent all that inheritance and needs a public defender, but a judge said, “No way, mon.  [Main Line Media News]

• Tragic deaths in BigLaw.  Literal ones.  Not the “Death of BigLaw” crap people spew:

Albert P. Halluin, one of Silicon Valley’s biggest lawyers, died in a plane crash Friday.  [SJMN]

—Jenner & Block associate Grant R. Folland died Saturday in a snowmobile accident in Wisconsin.  [AP]

• Make room for the Brinks truck at Weil.  The Lehman Brothers estate has paid $641.9 million to its bankruptcy advisers so far—with Weil Gotshal billing “an average of about $300,000 per day since Lehman filed its Chapter 11 case.” [The Am Law Daily]

• The top ten reasons attorneys won’t return phone calls, two of which include the honest truth that the lawyer may be a straight-up ass or that the client is a total idiot.  The possibility of both isn’t really explored—but implied.  [The Stubborn Writer]

• The emancipation of John Yoo: “So after five years of investigation, partisan accusations and unethical media leaks, the Justice Department’s senior ethicist has concluded that Bush Administration lawyers John Yoo and Jay Bybee committed no professional misconduct.” No referral to state bars for discipline has some people really pissed.  Or, as others call it, a healthy debate has ensued.  [Wall Street Journal]

• Sean Penn charged with battery and vandalism.  That dude is so method.  [Monsters & Critics]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that say “potato/pahtahto” and “public interest work/law firm life”:

• When life gives you orange spray tans, make Jersey Shore-ade.  Unless you’re one of the dudes that tussled with a cast member on camera.  “An attorney for Stephen Izzo Jr. will ask a judge to ban distribution of a DVD set of the show’s first season.” He’s one of the guys whose face Ronnie beat on outside a nightclub.  “Ronnie Ortiz, who has been charged with aggravated assault, should not profit from his criminal conduct.” Too bad he’s already sort of laughing all the way to the bank.  And he has a newly leaked homophobic rant.  And season two is going to be more Guido-ier and epic-er than ever.  Good luck, Izzo.  [NJ.com]

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