Bitter News, 3-17-09

Top O’ the morning!  Here are some four-leafed headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, which you can honor by doing us all a favor and just killing yourself:

“The only real difference between Bernie Madoff and the management of AIG is that when Bernie Madoff got caught, he pleaded guilty. When AIG got caught, it asked the government for $170 billion.” Oh, brick.  Zing!  Now go on and get me some abrogatin’ contract lawyers.  [Politico]

Federal Judge Richard Posner ordered a full portion of sanctions for a Chicago federal prosecutor.  With the dressing on the side. [Chicago Tribune]

Mini-Madoff.  Former state senator Vincent Fumo can add “corrupt” to resume.  A jury found him guilty on all 137 counts of conspiracy, fraud, tax offenses and obstruction of justice.  Yet it brings up yet another social networking quagmire with Facebook-friendly jurors.  [Philly.com]

Legal aid attorney Dave Dineen says, “This gave me a chance to do something different with my legal career.” Like work as a lawyer.  Instead of laying him off, his firm laid him over to public work.  [CNN.com]

“A Washington-based white-collar criminal defense lawyer with no background in sports or labor law” is the new executive director for the NFL Players Association.  Which was all decided after a very intense, consuming, arduous meeting.  In Maui.  Because that’s where serious people go to get shit done.  [The New York Times]

How do you bill hours on the metric system?  European firms are getting some biz in an effort to liquidate Madoff.  [WSJ’s Bankruptcy Beat]

First a nouveau law school, and now a glut of new jobs is making Irvine, CA the newest, bourgiest place for law.  [OC Register]

One Virginia governor race, four lawyer candidates, two candidates still mooching off the firm payroll.  [The Washington Post]

Nix the drinking and driving today, please.  Take a cab, and bill it to McDivittt.

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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