Bitter News, 3-17-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom dyed green, like every other ridiculous thing, for St. Pat’s Day:

• A 29-year-old stripper has filed a federal lawsuit against a strip joint for violating a Depression-era labor law.  (“Make that former exotic dancer; she says she’s leaving the biz to launch her own men’s magazine called, Rare Chocolate.”) After being fired from The House, Quansa “Love” Thompson sued in U.S. District Court alleging that the strip club pays dancers no wages but ought to under the Federal Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938.  Sashays, gyrations and jiggles don’t come free—and they didn’t during the Depression either.  Now she and attorney Philip Zipin want their day in court.  Can the bailiff grease the pole and play Rock You Like a Hurricane?  Only if you’re a raging sexist pig!  [Washington Post via Riverfront Times]

• “Attorney General Eric Holder told a congressional panel Tuesday that the question of reading Osama bin Laden his Miranda rights is absurd — because he won’t be brought in alive.” Osama’s only right is to get dead.  [Politico]

• How do you like this apple?  Daniel Cooperman, former general counsel at Apple, is joining law firm Bingham McCutchen in Silicon Valley. Open the Kimono!! “One of things that Mr. Cooperman says he intends to do: bring the firm up to speed.” He’s going to be the law firm messiah that teaches the associate disciples what clients really need.  [WSJ Digits Blog]

• “How do you disenfranchise 1 in 8 black men?” You uphold the state laws that say convicted felons can’t vote.  Given that about one out of eight black men are convicted felons, that’s apparently how you do it.  But that’s where the Democracy Restoration Act potentially comes in.  [Huffington Post]

• You know when you have that sense that you’re going to be yelled it?  Is it illegal to forbid that sense?  We all wish.  A lawyer is standing up for the rights of a shirtless, cursing jogger who taunts citizens and police officers while he runs.  He says that barring his client from the city while he is free on bail just because he might start his bitchin’ is unconstitutional.  [Boston Herald]

• Missing lawyer/”potato chip scion” Major Bashinsky, who had been missing since March 3, was found dead in a golf course pond.  Homicide or suicide has yet to be determined.  [AP via Montgomery Advertiser]

• “A judge has awarded a San Francisco attorney $7,000 in damages in a rare trial under California’s anti-spam law – $1,000 for each unsolicited, misleading commercial e-mail he received.” Which means we’re all soon going to be rich!  [San Francisco Chronicle]

• Too bad Guano Dubango already has his LLM degree from Georgetown.  This would have been perfect for him.  [The National Law Journal]

• We randomly got our madness on this year.  But here are the 10 best (whatever that means) NCAA lawsuits to help try and break your basketball fever.  [Business Insider]

• Pull the jacquard-woven wool from over your eyes, the anonymous Corporette is out of the closet.  Meet Kat Griffin, the female lawyer behind the “fashion and lifestyle blog for overachieving chicks.” She’s hitting the streets with AK Anne Klein to bring less boring corporate fashion to needy women everywhere.  [Corporette]

• As Tiger Woods gets to sexually heal in his induction to the club of celeb sex addicts on tonight’s South Park, he’s got to be pretty excited about his return at the Masters.  Or, at least, ticket gougers are.  Though it seems like he and Elin are on the mend, her three-hour meeting today with her lawyer has speculation re-buzzing.  [Radar Online]

Check out more news from previous days.

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook.  Follow on Twitter.

Buy Bitter Lawyer merchandise.

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom dyed green, like every other ridiculous thing, for St. Pat’s Day:

• A 29-year-old stripper has filed a federal lawsuit against a strip joint for violating a Depression-era labor law.  (“Make that former exotic dancer; she says she’s leaving the biz to launch her own men’s magazine called, Rare Chocolate.”) After being fired from The House, Quansa “Love” Thompson sued in U.S. District Court alleging that the strip club pays dancers no wages but ought to under the Federal Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938.  Sashays, gyrations and jiggles don’t come free—and they didn’t during the Depression either.  Now she and attorney Philip Zipin want their day in court.  Can the bailiff grease the pole and play Rock You Like a Hurricane?  Only if you’re a raging sexist pig!  [Washington Post via Riverfront Times]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>