Bitter News, 3-18-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom reminding you of the seven things to never say to the boss man:

• Clients luv purdy counsel.  Being “really, really, ridiculously good looking” makes you a more successful lawyer.  Law is only skin deep.  [Above the Law]

• The next chapter in the shocking saga of a lawyer’s career up in smoke: Harvard Law grad Brian Schroeder pleaded not guilty Wednesday to burglary and other charges in connection with setting fire to a sacred 9/11 chapel where unidentified remains of terror attack victims are stored.  But what if it’s just so fuzzy?  His lawyer says his client was “profoundly intoxicated” and “has very limited memories of being inside the building.” Schroeder had accepted an offer from Sidley Austin before the incident, but the firm rescinded the offer.  [New York Daily News]

• A judge ruled that Oprah, Queen of the Universe, can be sued for defamation of character.  Now if only the jury can remember that they are a jury and not a live studio audience.  [ABC News]

• I now pronounce you husband and—shut the F up, bitch.  “A Baltimore County judge [Judge Darrell Russell Jr.] has been reassigned after pausing the trial of an accused batterer to marry him to his alleged victim so she could avoid testifying against him.” [ABC News]

News continued below video.

• Bernie Madoff is officially a prison bitch.  He got the Ponzi beat out of him in jail back in December.  [Wall Street Journal]

• Today marks the tip off to March Madness.  In addition to all the randomness, there are two other brackets other than NCAA’s that you should be aware of:

—Beyonce (music), Blake Lively (television), Natalie Gulbis (sports) and Megan Fox (movies) are #1 seeds in the “Sexiest Woman Alive Madness” bracket.  Your votes are needed.  [Esquire]

—Duke wins the big dance in the “salary game” of graduates from this year’s Madness schools.  See how alumni do post-graduation to determine a winner.  [PayScale]

News continued below.

PayScale Salary Madness
Georgetown University SalaryCornell University Salary
PayScale Salary Madness
Vanderbilt University SalaryDuke University Salary
PayScale Salary Madness

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• An “aggrieved” surfer was awarded $750 for having his board nicked by a fellow surfer who ignored the “paddle behind” rule of surfing etiquette.  Since no surfing reference is complete without a Swayze (RIP!) Point Break quote: “Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.” [Slaw]

• The LSAT is the devil’s work.  Anyone care to refute that?  [Washington Post]

• “Don’t punish my sugar” daddy: A three-judge panel ruled that parents could block the prosecution of their children on child pornography charges for appearing in “sexting” photographs found on some classmates’ cell phones.  [The Legal Intelligencer]

• We’ve got bad news, Crosby & Higgins.  You tested positive for the virus.  A spam attack on a small, seven-person law firm resulted in a mass spread of a nasty, poorly written email scam.  [WSJ Law Blog]

Check out more news from previous days.

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom reminding you of the seven things to never say to the boss man:

• Clients luv purdy counsel.  Being “really, really, ridiculously good looking” makes you a more successful lawyer.  Law is only skin deep.  [Above the Law]

• The next chapter in the shocking saga of a lawyer’s career up in smoke: Harvard Law grad Brian Schroeder pleaded not guilty Wednesday to burglary and other charges in connection with setting fire to a sacred 9/11 chapel where unidentified remains of terror attack victims are stored.  But what if it’s just so fuzzy?  His lawyer says his client was “profoundly intoxicated” and “has very limited memories of being inside the building.” Schroeder had accepted an offer from Sidley Austin before the incident, but the firm rescinded the offer.  [New York Daily News]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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