Bitter News, 3-31-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom so bamboozling we’re getting our own trading card:

In these “biblically bad” times, The American Lawyer culled down its annual list of 25 lawyers who were the “Dealmakers of the Year.” And it’s a sausage fest.  Topping the list is Sullivan & Cromwell’s H. Rodgin Cohen who last year advised Fannie Mae, AIG, Lehman Brothers, Barclays, JPMorgan Chase and your mom.  He said he’s still worried about the banking industry—but willing to accept major bank to help out wherever he can.  [Law.com]

64% of law firm partners believe legal business will drop even more over the next six months.  But bankers are really feeling something special around the corner.  [Legal Times]

A 22-year-old law student is icing the hell out of Madoff’s brother, Pecker Peter.  [Bloomberg]

You can’t rewrite history, but you can rewrite contracts these days.  Remember how AIG was obligated to payout those millions of dollars in employee bonuses?  Well, it’s inspired employers to find ways to legally overhaul (or plainly not honor) the contracts of middle-class workers.  Hooray for firemen!  [The New York Times]

Primo hedge fund manager and gluttonous world spender, Andrés “Tanning Oil and Fresh Ocean Breeze” Piedrahita, lost $6.9 billion in Madoff’s $50 billion Ponzi scheme. And now Mr. Piedrahita finds himself in a legal pickle as Spanish prosecutors investigate what he knew about Bernie’s fraudulent funds when he sold them to Spanish clients (“Senior Madoff es el hombre!”).  He’s also the target of at least three class-action suits filed by angry investors in the U.S. who say he was grossly negligent in investing their money with Mr. Madoff.  But isn’t Mr. Piedrahita really just a victim like anyone else?  [Wall Street Journal]

It’s all fun and layoffs till sh!t really hits the fan.  Forced exits have decimated Fried Frank’s softball team.  “It became clear that Fried Frank would no longer be this year’s league favorite. Six starters had fallen victim to the downsizing, including two first-year associates from softball powerhouse UVa Law. The present and the future of Fried Frank softball was toast.” [Litination]

The Monty Python comedy troupe is turning 4o, so they’re planning a six-part play-on-words series to air called Monty Python: Almost the Truth (The Lawyer’s Cut).  Because lawyers always get a cut.  [Broadcasting & Cable]

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3 Comments

  1. jim

    March 31, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    why the mispellings in this post?

  2. Jack A

    March 31, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Jim, why such a douche?

  3. jim

    April 1, 2009 at 2:34 am

    Jack – fuck you, that’s why

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