Bitter News, 3-5-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as steamy as a papal boy hooker having hot, gay Vatican sex:

• Cover.  Your.  Ass.  Law firms are not your friends.  They don’t give hugs—they give heartburn.  Documents and paper trails can make or break you or career.  Always make sure you’re looking out for whose most important.  (Not the client!  You, you idiot.  You’re most important.) [Law Shucks]

• Such a great headline: “A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth can get its boots on.” Here’s a chronological account of how life on Thursday went from being a slow news day to RADAR EXCLUSIVE: SCTOUS CHIEF STEPPING DOWN to “Nothing to see here.  Let’s move it along people.” Every fire starts with a match.  And, in this case, it was Georgetown law professor Peter Tague.  Yesterday, he taught his students (and the world) a lesson.  [MinnPost]

• Spring could be springing a little early this year.  With anti-climatic buds of smaller job loss numbers.  “Only 100 jobs were lost in the legal sector in February, the second month in a row that has seen a substantial drop-off in job losses.” [The Am Law Daily]

• Send in the clowns.  Here are 10 reasons why it’s unbearably depressing to be in law school right now.  Let’s not sugarcoat it.  You, law students, are screwed.  So you really need to see this list of super-obvious grievances on why your life sucks.  You’re sure to feel mocked and crappy.  Happy weekend!  [Business Insider]

• And the award goes to….. The 10 most interesting Oscar-related lawsuits EVER.  [THR, Esq.]

• The unaccredited law school of the future has stuck out like Dippin’ Dots.  A Maine court rejected “Husson University’s request to allow the graduates of its proposed law school to take the Maine bar exam.” It was the non-traditional law program’s second rejection in two years.  [Maine Business Journal]

• What the hell is going on with these terror trials?  Now Obama’s key people want to go from federal court back to military court to try Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and his merry band of terrorists. 

[Los Angeles Times]

• It’s a bit of a stretch for a legal story, but there is something so interesting about how the guilt of a which was proven during the Salem trials of 1662.  It’s…bewitching.  [Mental Floss]

• As is typical in Hollywood, it takes time for the PR machine to kick in and generate buzz.  (Take note, wannabe screenwriters.) Last week, we missed the announcement of the 2009 “Attorneys of the Year” by San Francisco-based legal publication The Recorder.  But we noticed today.  Of the 12 recognized, there’s the usual smattering of BigLaw heavyweights.  But of the three women recognized, most interesting is lesser-known Greenberg Glusker entertainment litigator Bonnie E. Eskenazi.  She made millions for the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien.  And in addition to her list of clients including CBS and Marvel Comics (ever heard of um?), she’s responsible for bringing Alvin and the Chipmunks to the big screen.  Squeak-wow!  [PR Inside]

• “Diversity” has been getting a haircut in the legal media this week.  Everyone’s talking about how no one in law is hiring or enrolling enough people who are statistically “diverse” these days.  But what’s this?  Something that’s part of the solution, you ask?  Bitter people hate solutions to things we can just crap on.  But alas, there’s the new corporate-backed Inclusion Initiative, and it’s “goal is to put minority law firms on a path towards growth and prosperity.” [The Business Journal of Milwaukee]

• Between Yankee tickets and an abuse probe, the legal woes of NY Gov. David Paterson have decided to hitch their wagon to a member of the defense team who helped get Eliot Spitzer off the prosecution hook.  Congrats, Paul Weiss litigation co-chair Theodore Wells, Jr.  [The New York Times]

• How sad is it that this story feels so tired and familiar?  A married republican senator known for his history of opposing gay rights was arrested for drunk driving after allegedly leaving a gay bar with another man in the car.  In this case, it’s California State Senator Roy Ashburn.  He was pulled over and arrested for swerving after reportedly leaving a Latin drag queen pageant.  (Don’t think he was so much on the DL—see video below.) He has already issued a big, blanket apology.  And I’m sure he’s perusing rehabs and/or gay-cure opportunities and will be admitting himself shortly.  [CBS13.com]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as steamy as a papal boy hooker having hot, gay Vatican sex:

• Cover.  Your.  Ass.  Law firms are not your friends.  They don’t give hugs—they give heartburn.  Documents and paper trails can make or break you or career.  Always make sure you’re looking out for whose most important.  (Not the client!  You, you idiot.  You’re most important.) [Law Shucks]

• Such a great headline: “A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth can get its boots on.” Here’s a chronological account of how life on Thursday went from being a slow news day to RADAR EXCLUSIVE: SCTOUS CHIEF STEPPING DOWN to “Nothing to see here.  Let’s move it along people.” Every fire starts with a match.  And, in this case, it was Georgetown law professor Peter Tague.  Yesterday, he taught his students (and the world) a lesson.  [MinnPost]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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