Bitter News, 3-8-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as dead as the oldest person in the US:

• The dean of the University of Georgia Law School probably realizes her ass is grass if she doesn’t get her graduating 3Ls some gigs.  All it takes is for one class to yield really crappy “employment rates for graduates” statistics for the whole program to flush down the sh!tter.  Because when U.S. News & World Report catches wind, rankings are likely to plummet.  So Dean Rebecca White is doing what any respectable law school dean would do: She’s whoring out her students to Georgia Law alums, asking them to deliver her from evil by extending job opportunities to her students.  She’s the Athens Madam of cheap and willing law students who is trying to sell with a wink and a “Call me!” It’s sure to be a growing trend at law schools because, if you think about it, the idea is a good one.  Not to mention her cut of the action would be a lot less than that real pimp you’ve been thinking about working for.  [Above the Law]

• Don’t think you need Momma Dean to pull strings for you?  Who the hell do you think you are?  A future ibanker?  Banks are climbing out of the recession and starting to hire—even though saying you work for Merryl Lynch might feel as socially suicidal as saying you’re a registered sex offender.  But at least their working.  After a “10-year stretch of near-90 percent job placement for law grads,” those numbers have practically reversed for law grads.  (It’s the gilded age of young BigLaw?) The NALP has a simple explanation for the legal job market: “It tanked.” And, consequently, so is your bank account and credit.  You need all the help from your law school you can get.  [The Sacramento Bee]

• Someone who knows unpopular it is these days to say you work for a big bank is the son of Dodger’s owner Frank McCourt.  News that he works for Goldman Sachs all while drawing a six-figure salary from the baseball club isn’t going over well as it relates to his mom and dad’s divorce.  An embarrassment of riches, Frank and Jamie McCourt’s divorce is expected to cost $19 million in attorneys and accountants fees—the most expensive split in California history.  [Los Angeles Times]

• A saving grace for unemployed law grads may be the 2010 Census.  A glorified temp job at $21.50 an hour has saved one law firm refugee.  And the Census Bureau expects to hire 700,000 more people.  But landing the gig won’t be statically harder than a real law job: They’re expecting 3 million to 4 million highly educated applicants.  [The Washington Post]

• The story we covered last Thursday about Fox News’ decision to reveal the names of the seven former BigLaw lawyers who represented Guantanamo detainees prior to joining the Justice Department under AG Eric Holder has it’s critics.  And by critics, I mean people who are pissed and calling Fox News a bunch of McCarthy-era demagogues who are accusing people of being disloyal for simply being… lawyers.  [The New York Times]

• Is Kathy Bates the new Denny Crain?  The Oscar winner is in final negotiations to join the cast of Kindreds, producer David E. Kelley’s new NBC legal drama pilot, as a patent attorney who is head of a firm—a role originally written for a dude.  [The Hollywood Reporter]

• Dog gone, the Swiss don’t think abused animals need to have their own lawyers.  [Telegraph]

• We published our list of lawyers who make serious cheddar as the best sports agents in the country.  But are they all just riding on the coattails of BigLaw?  Are lawyers like Weil Gotshal partner Glenn West out screaming, “Who’s your daddy?” [Law Shucks]

• Who’s not anyone’s daddy?  (Former) Greenberg Traurig attorney and shareholder Mark J. McCombs.  He just got fired and charged with “siphoning off tax increment financing funds in an overbilling scheme that cost a south [Chicago] suburb more than $1 million.” [Chicago Sun Times]

• Lil Wayne got the party started in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court Building.  The police and Wayne’s “Cash Money crew” escorted him through a small riot and in to see a judge who sentenced him to a year in jail for gun possession.  [MTV]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as dead as the oldest person in the US:

• The dean of the University of Georgia Law School probably realizes her ass is grass if she doesn’t get her graduating 3Ls some gigs.  All it takes is for one class to yield really crappy “employment rates for graduates” statistics for the whole program to flush down the sh!tter.  Because when U.S. News & World Report catches wind, rankings are likely to plummet.  So Dean Rebecca White is doing what any respectable law school dean would do: She’s whoring out her students to Georgia Law alums, asking them to deliver her from evil by extending job opportunities to her students.  She’s the Athens Madam of cheap and willing law students who is trying to sell with a wink and a “Call me!” It’s sure to be a growing trend at law schools because, if you think about it, the idea is a good one.  Not to mention her cut of the action would be a lot less than that real pimp you’ve been thinking about working for.  [Above the Law]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. SFLawyer

    March 9, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Kathy would be great in the roll.  She could kick some male asses or break their legs.

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