Bitter News, 4-10-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that will set you straight, like South Park to Kanye:

So Woody Allen sort-of married his daughter.  Creepy.  But did that harm is reputation enough to not be able to command any sort of significant payment for a product endorsement?  He is, after all, a Manhattan legend.  And Annie Hall—well, come on.  It’s Annie Hall.  Woody is suing American Apparel (who’s CEO, Dov Carney, is known for playing with his Woody) for $10 million because they used his unauthorized image in an ad campaign.  But Dov claims Woody’s pervy past would never allow him to net that kind of dough for his likeness.  In what’s being called “one of the Jewiest lawsuits of all time,” it kind of has to make Soon-Yi Previn feel like shit.  [New York Post | Los Angeles Times]

There have been a lot of modern trends toward doing things yourself.  A Home Depot on every corner?  Sort-of good.  Those self-checkout isles at grocery stores?  Shoot me in the face.  So where does representing yourself in court fall in the spectrum?  Well, it must be as easy as fixin’ a leaky toilet because being your own lawyer is the new craze in a down economy.  [The New York Times]

Know how you always sign, “Have a kick-ass summer!” in your friends’ law school yearbooks?  Well, it looks like there will be a lot less kick-ass frills in store for this year’s summer associate crop—and just a lot more plain ass-kicking.  [The National Law Journal]

And in this corner—weighing in on former Sen. Stevens’ dismissal, benching for more than 20 years, 61 years young and a frequent user of such phrases as “travesty,” “horror story,” “hiding the ball,” and “someone’s going to pay”—all the way from DC, it’s U.S. District Judge Emmet “Government Boom Boom” Sullivan!  [Washington Post]

The guy responsible for you not getting your $125 BAR/BRI settlement passed away.  [Am Law Daily]

It’s been a real semen kind of week.  And it’s been bitter.  After a mom fought to have her dead son’s semen harvested for grandbabies, a Michigan divorce squabble has judge deciding who gets the dog’s junk in the split.  [ABA Journal]

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