Bitter News, 4-2-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that will “nuke your fridge” like the new A-Team trailer:

• On what list could former BigLaw attorneys Michelle Obama and Scott Brown share a top-20 ranking with Nicole “Snookie” PolizziTime’s 2010 list of the 100 most influential people in the world.  [Time]

• Extra, extra, read all about it…on your new iPad.  If you’re willing to wait in line for two days like these law firm workers.  [ABA Journal]

• High times in Los Angeles—who can keep up with California’s medical marijuana issue?  Bitter Lawyer’s own Michael Estrin profiles the casually sexy Allison Margolin (AKA LA’s Dopest Attorney), a Harvard Law School graduate who is the daughter of Bruce Margolin, “the criminal defense lawyer who literally wrote the book on marijuana law”—The Margolin Guide to Marijuana Laws.  “And like so many of her clients, she herself uses marijuana with a doctor’s approval.” [California Lawyer]

• Would you like fries with that subpoena?  Connecticut law firm The Kocian Law Group is renovating a vacant Kenny Rogers Roasters and opening a new location this summer that will keep the former tenant’s drive-through window.  “The law firm’s staff will use the window to receive and hand over documents, a convenience for clients with kids or who are dealing with injuries.” Just be prepared for this to happen.  [NBC Connecticut]

• Like the fast-paced, uber-chic fashion industry, what’s “in” and what’s “out” in BigLaw changes like the wind.  What’s trendy, hip and cool right this second?  Feather skirts.  But in BigLaw, it’s heath care practices, pay freezes and early retirement packages.  In neither industry should a man get caught with tassels on his loafers this season.  Psha!  [The Snark @ Law.com]

• What never goes out of style?  Hating lawyers.  Here’s an overview of why people despise members of our community.  Which is confusing because “lawyers are neurotic, pedantic, disagreeable and egotistic people,” so what’s not to like, really?  Anyway, if you have to nitpick for reasons to spew hate at us on this High Holy Day, here are four bulleted reasons why you could.  I guess.  [The Legal Satyircon]

• Cher.  Sting.  Madonna.  Mitch.  Which of these names doesn’t belong?  Trick question, idiots—they all do.  “Madison lawyer and University of Wisconsin law instructor Mitch legally took his single name in 1997. Even his degree from UW’s law school reads simply ‘Mitch.’” DBag is his assumed last name.  [JSOnline]

• Here’s a shitty story: “Man sues, claims he fell after stepping in feces.” [Associated Press]

• Mentally, we have already put Justice John Paul Stevens out to pasture.  So who might replace him on the bench?  Here’s a list of hotties that are possible SCOTUS robe-wearers.  [Huffington Post]

• One thing PhilaLawyer forgot to mention in his “Five Steps to Being a Plaintiff Lawyer Machine” is setting up a website that looks like a VA Hospital’s for the purpose of netting new clients with asbestos-related diseases.  Congrats to these cunning lawyer for outthinking him.  [CNN Money]

• “Loyola Law School in Los Angeles is retroactively increasing all of its current students’ grades.  That C+ from last year is now a B-. Everybody’s GPA just went up by 0.333.  Magic!” Perhaps Timothy Keefe should transfer over.  [NPR]

• No matter how big a number, it’s always depressing to read an amount for which a professional number cruncher has valued your life.  For BigLaw attorney Mary Margaret Farren, it’s $9 mill.  She is counsel in Skadden’s Washington, D.C. office and currently in a legal battle with her ex-husband, former White House attorney John Michael Farren, because he allegedly tried to kill her by beating her with a flashlight and choking her two days after she delivered divorce papers.  She says “the alleged attack has impaired her ability to process large amounts of information quickly.” So, in addition to her $15 million civil suit, an expert testified yesterday that she stands to lose $9 million in income over the remainder of her Skadden career if she cannot return to work in the aftermath of the alleged attack. 

[The Am Law Daily]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that will “nuke your fridge” like the new A-Team trailer:

• On what list could former BigLaw attorneys Michelle Obama and Scott Brown share a top-20 ranking with Nicole “Snookie” PolizziTime’s 2010 list of the 100 most influential people in the world.  [Time]

• Extra, extra, read all about it…on your new iPad.  If you’re willing to wait in line for two days like these law firm workers.  [ABA Journal]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

2 Comments

  1. Craig

    April 4, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    You guys blocked your own content on your own website (albeit probably indirectly)?  Interesting move.

  2. Anonymous

    April 5, 2010 at 1:37 am

    What does that mean?

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