Bitter News, 4-20-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as easy to pronounce as Eyjafjallajökull:

Guns AND butter.  Law school OR babies.  Broadly speaking, of course.  [The Stanford Daily]

• Hmm, I’ll pick law school over babies, Bob.  Great.  Now that you’ve decided to go a whopping $100,000 in debt in three years vs. 18, you probably want to know what the hell your job prospects and earning potential will be after graduation, right?  Well, lucky for you, two Vanderbilt University Law School students are fed up with schools’ lack of detailed employment statistics and have taken matters into their own hands.  [The National Law Journal]

• Summer Associate programs are a privilege, not a right.  They seem nonsensical because they are.  No one knows how they originated exactly (though a hankering to sprinkle a few decent-looking chicks around the office probably had something to do with it), but they don’t really seem to justify their existence.  It’s time for What Law Students Should Do During Their Summers 2.0.  [TechnoLawyer]

• ARRRGH pirate ransoms legal?  Discuss.  [Associated Press]

• Apple called.  They legally want their new, eff-ing amazing, yet-unreleased HD iPhone 4G back.  I told them you’re not here.  Ah, fine.  Return it anyway.  Scaredycat.  [Examiner.com]

• With first-quarter earnings of nearly $3.5 billion, Goldman Sachs will have no problem paying Sullivan & Cromwell to take over its defense.  [This is London]

• Hiring a lawyer to settle a legal dispute is so passive aggressive.  Not to mention floating court dates that drag a case on forever.  It’s time to return to an era of settling disputes by dueling AT DAWN!  [Cracked.com]

• “Sources tell TMZ Larry King signed a legal document that put his [$144 million] fortune on the line based on a strategic decision—his lawyer’s office was within walking distance of his favorite breakfast deli.” That’s if the divorce even happens.  Decide already—you don’t have much time, Larry.  [TMZ]

• You can take the dog out of the SCOTUS legal fight, but you can’t take the fight out of….  This isn’t working out.  “The Supreme Court has struck down a federal law designed to stop the sale and marketing of videos showing dogfights and other acts of animal cruelty, saying it is an unconstitutional violation of free speech.” [CNN]

• “The Deferred Associate Diaries: My First…” is nothing like The Red Shoe Diaries.  Booo. 

[The Am Law Daily]

• The Jewish lawyer who would be president…if he hadn’t banged Ashley Dupre.  There’s a lot to be learned from Eliot Spitzer.  And though his career was dealt a massive setback when he was ousted as Client #9 (for a simple reason), he gathers no moss.  The lawyer once called “the most powerful public official outside of Washington” is being dished on in a new book, predicting that the SEC will defeat Goldman Sachs and is running for office again…probably.  [Los Angeles Times]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as easy to pronounce as Eyjafjallajökull:

Guns AND butter.  Law school OR babies.  Broadly speaking, of course.  [The Stanford Daily]

• Hmm, I’ll pick law school over babies, Bob.  Great.  Now that you’ve decided to go a whopping $100,000 in debt in three years vs. 18, you probably want to know what the hell your job prospects and earning potential will be after graduation, right?  Well, lucky for you, two Vanderbilt University Law School students are fed up with schools’ lack of detailed employment statistics and have taken matters into their own hands.  [The National Law Journal]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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