Bitter News, 4-28-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that will go Gov. Perry on you with a .380 Ruger pistol

• Let’s go to the Derby!  Then we can all spend Saturday together cheering on Goodwin Procter partner Joe Savage, Jr.’s 3-year-old colt Paddy O’Prado in the Race for the Roses.  [Boston.com]

• The Harvard 3L racist email heard around the world in a single day.  When your classmates are envious of your looming federal clerkship…and you put “I absolutely do not rule out the possibility that African Americans are, on average, genetically predisposed to be less intelligent” in writing…and then you have ovaries the size of cantaloupes enough to email it out to acquaintances, prepare for them to be the biggest “Forward” gunners ever.  [Above the Law]

• It’s a sad day for Happy Meals—and little fat kids.  Santa Clarita County in California has banned toys in high-calorie meals for children.  Getting Type-2 diabetes will be really boring now.  Like getting lung cancer without Joe Camel.  But is it legal?  They think so[Los Angeles Times]

• MO mobility, MO problems?  “This month, Missouri became the first state to adopt a plan to create a uniform bar exam for lawyers who want to practice in the United States,” which it will begin administering in February 2011.  No questions on state laws—just general principles and best practices.  Though, if only one state has it, is it really all that uniform?  [Leagle.com]

• After JPS, there will probably be no Protestants on the Supreme Court, and we’re all pretty okay with that.  But, despite faith, he lost the debate and the crosses stay[Fox News]

• Discrimination ain’t cool in America.  (Even genetic discrimination.) And what’s more American than Wal-Mart?  So it’s odd that the discount retailer is now facing a sex discrimination lawsuit.  Guess one thing is totally American about it: It’s big.  The largest in U.S. history, in fact.  [Forbes.com]

• Arizona, Arizona, Arizona, what are we going to do with you?  Your new immigration law is likely a constitutional blunder, and we’re not friends on Facebook[The New York Times]

• Bill Clinton has sided with Goldman and doubts it’s a lawbreaker.  [BusinessWeek]

• “None of the Securities and Exchange Commission employees [some lawyers] caught using government computers to view pornographic images has been fired, according to the agency.” Though you might want them to Purell before shaking hands and congratulating them.  [Washington Post]

• Senior Chiney Ogwumike is player of year on the 2010 All-USA high school girls basketball team, and she has law school dreams.  Though she might want to have a chat with Ryan McAteer first.  He’s the Kansas 2L who’s declaring for the NBA draft because he says “there is a higher likelihood of me playing in the NBA than finding gainful legal employment.” [USA Today]

• How can the Boy Scouts of America keep membership up in a time when it’s losing $18.5 million sexual abuse cases?  Offer an “academic” badge for video game proficiency.  Obvs.  [CNET]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that will go Gov. Perry on you with a .380 Ruger pistol

• Let’s go to the Derby!  Then we can all spend Saturday together cheering on Goodwin Procter partner Joe Savage, Jr.’s 3-year-old colt Paddy O’Prado in the Race for the Roses.  [Boston.com]

• The Harvard 3L racist email heard around the world in a single day.  When your classmates are envious of your looming federal clerkship…and you put “I absolutely do not rule out the possibility that African Americans are, on average, genetically predisposed to be less intelligent” in writing…and then you have ovaries the size of cantaloupes enough to email it out to acquaintances, prepare for them to be the biggest “Forward” gunners ever.  [Above the Law]

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