Bitter News, 4-29-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, are sure of a bet as I Want Revenge to win, place, and show:

• There is a season—turn, turn, turn—and this is list season.  Like the U.S. News and World Report rankings but for law firms, the Am Law 100 for 2009 is all the fresh ink on law firms’ state of play.  Obviously, no one was safe last year.  In fact it was the worst report in 17 years with a lot of hits and dings across the board.  Almost half of the 100 firms posted drops in revenue per lawyer last year.  Still, two firms posted over $2 billion in revenue this year, and the second, Baker and McKenzie, ousted Latham despite their booty website[AmericanLawyer.com]

Top 3 firms by 2008 gross revenue:

1. Skadden ($2,200,000,000—up 1.4% from 2007)

2. Baker ($2,188,000,000—up a whopping 19.6%)

3. Latham ($1,923,000,000—down 4.1%)

Top 3 firms by profits per partner (PPP):

1. Wachtell ($4,010,000—down 18.9% from 2007)

2. Quinn Emanuel ($3,335,000—up (yep, up) 10.8%)

3. Boies, Shiller (3,065,000—down 4.4%)

Top 3 firms by revenue per lawyer:

1. Wachtell ($2,455,000—down 13.4% from 2007)

2. Sullivan & Cromwell ($1,480,000—down 7.5%)

3. Cravath ($1,210,000—down 18.2%)

• But get over all the “end of BigLaw” talk, this revenue bruising is just creating opportunities because firms “have finally woken up and smelled the coffee.” But not the Starbucks.  Sez Mark Ross.  [ILW.com]

(978): you’re drinking in the law library????

(978): …not a bad idea….

(508): probably not a good idea either.

• From one of our favorite new sites.  [Texts From Last Night]

• Who wants to buy a Malibu or a day-old Sebring?  GM and Chrysler dealers have both hired law firms for the possibility of bankruptcy. Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe and Arnold & Porter LLP respectively.  [CNBC.com]

• Gordon Gekko is out of jail.  And Wall Street 2 is coming for you.  Edge of your seat, or a “long-mooted” extension of “greed is good?” Michael Douglas’ new hair color has him feeling all randy and up for it.  [Associated Press]

• Anyone can report on Obama’s first 100 days, but what did that other lawyer in the White House do?  Other than wear clothes, that is.  [Huffington Post]

• Hey, you, attorney Jon Eardley, stay away from Brintey.  All of you, just stay away.  [TVNZ]

• L.A. Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg granted a delay in the Chris Brown/Rihanna assault debacle, per Brown’s lawyers request, and now police leaks might lead to an entire dismissal.  But Rihanna got her jewels back, so it’s kind of a win-win all around. [Us Magazine via OMG!]

• And the University of Louisville School of Law has posted this tail-shaking, not-a-cardinal-but-close-enough video “as a service to students, professors, and staff members during the final days of the 2008-09 academic year.” They’re wishing the UofL Law community good luck during this hectic time of the Kentucky Derby….oh, yeah, and also finals. [The Cardinal Lawyer]

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