Bitter News, 4-7-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as hard to look at as the NBA All-Ugly Team:

• Sometimes it takes a non-hooker with a heart of gold, like Rachel Uchitel, to make you feel stupid.  Stupid for being a smart person who gunned his/her way through law school and tries to be a lawyer.  We’ve long considered lawyers and hookers to be great bedfellows, but a New York magazine cover story reminds us that beauty can easily trump IQ.  Even when used “non-sexually.” [Law And More]

• “[A] career counseling association has published numbers provided by law firms and other employers regarding 2009 summer associate offers and expectations for 2010 summer programs. And not surprisingly, the picture isn’t pretty.” Using data from Pennsylvania law firms, only 54% of 2009 Summers were given job offers.  And compared to the 486 Summer positions in 2009, a mere 194 are expected to exist this year.  Cheers.  [The Legal Intelligencer]

• A photo of New York gubernatorial hopeful Steve Levy (running as a party-switching Republican) pulled from the 1983 St. John’s University Law School yearbook shows him attending a Halloween party dressed as a terrorist with a rag rolled around his head, thick beard, cigar and fake handgun.  The photo reveals that a precious, rare animal—an aerobics leopard—may have been taken hostage.  [New York Daily News]

• One nation under God.  But what denomination?  When Justice Stevens retires, “it is entirely possible that there will be no Protestant justices on the court for the first time ever.” Maybe it’ll be like the “hiatus for Jews” that existed under Nixon.  [NPR]

• Door.  Hitcha.  Good lords of fashion.  Splitcha.  Luxury label Gucci revealed it fired in-house lawyer Jonathan Moss after realizing he had been rocking inactive Bar status since before he started the job in 2003.  His excuse?  It was less expensive to maintain inactivity.  But it’s thrown a gold-plated oversized hardware wrench that looks like a horsebit into a trademark infringement suit Gucci filed against Guess.  [Corporate Counsel]

• Some lawyers are well known for their vanity.  But Michigan lawyer Robert Tuttle is known for his vanity plate.  That he got for his non-vanity Corvette, of course.  (Vroom!) But, to his douche-y disappointment, he accidentally got the second issuing of the personalized plate W-L-V-R-N-E.  So he’s suing because he says his rights to due process have been violated. Tool of the year?  [Above the Law]

Jordan Yospe is a Counsel attorney with LA law firm Manatt, Phelps & Phillips.  But his job is much cooler than yours.  Trust me.  [The New York Times]

• The top five photos in a contest between Peeps in provocative legal poses set in dioramas.  (Example of our favorite, “The Peeple’s Court,” below.) Vote for who you think should win the gooey, delicious, marshmallow peeple’s choice award.  [ABA Journal]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as hard to look at as the NBA All-Ugly Team:

• Sometimes it takes a non-hooker with a heart of gold like Rachel Uchitel to make you feel stupid.  Stupid for being a smart person who gunned his/her way through law school and tries to be a lawyer.  We’ve long considered lawyers and hookers to be great bedfellows, but a New York magazine cover story reminds us that beauty can easily trump IQ.  Even when used “non-sexually.” [Law And More]

• “[A] career counseling association has published numbers provided by law firms and other employers regarding 2009 summer associate offers and expectations for 2010 summer programs. And not surprisingly, the picture isn’t pretty.” Using data from Pennsylvania law firms, only 54% of 2009 Summers were given job offers.  And compared to the 486 Summer positions in 2009, a mere 194 are expected to exist this year.  Cheers.  [The Legal Intelligencer]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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