Bitter News, 5-12-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that you’d probably like better if Eddie Vedder wrote them:

• Disabled lawyer Hippocrate Mertsaris has been charged with sexual abuse and sexual harassment for slapping a Taxi and Limousine Commission judge’s ass and grabbing her inner thigh.  There’s no denial from his lawyer that it happened.  But Mertsaris’s defense?  Spastic movements resulting from his cerebral palsy.  [New York Daily News]

• Beau Biden, the 41-year-old Attorney General of Deleware and son of Vice President Joe Biden, suffered a mild stroke on Tuesday and remains in the hospital.  A reminder that no young attorney is immune to stroking out.  [CBS News]

• Black ladies got it goin’ on in law school.  “In 2009, black women made up 61.7 percent of the African American enrollment at the nation’s 50 highest-ranked law schools.” And here’s a profile of several proud black women who didn’t get their JDs til they were over 50 years old because they like to KICK and do law, shimmie, KICK, and stretch and KICK!  [Washington Post]

• Ketchup on this story: “[A]uthorities have banned a law firm paralegal from a county jail after she brought a firm client a package marked “Atty Client” that contained an emery board and a nude photograph of one of the client’s girlfriends holding tomatoes over her breasts.” [The Am Law Daily]

• University of South Carolina’s law school dean, Walter F. Pratt Jr., is stepping down.  Which we all know means he’s losing his job after sliding in the U.S. News rankings.  [TheState.com]

• UCONN has spent $338K on lawyers related to the NCCA’s year-long investigation of its basketball program, which includes the recruitment of former player Nate Miles.  And the big winner of all that non-tuition money is the law firm of Bond Schoeneck & King, “which is the most active in the nation in representing university athletics departments in NCAA investigations and compliance.” And they’re due another $375K.  Swish.  [Kansas City Business Journal]

• You can’t fire us, BigLaw.  Cuz we quit!  To avoid looming layoffs, three associates did just that to start their own firm—despite having no book of business.  [ABA Journal]

• Every lawyer should use a Mac.  Because then they would look cooler.  [Lawyerist]

• Best Elena Kagan article yet: Pro baseball players from the Mets and Nationals benches break down the softball stance of the New York woman who’s about to take the highest Washington bench.  It’s possibly the only time her stance on something might be this controversial.  And, as Ryan Zimmerman points out, her “Barry Bonds choke-up” might be two strikes against her.  [MLB.com]

• Regarding Elena Kagan, this has nothing to do with her.  Again, even though she’ll make SCOTUS an almost all-New York court, she’s about to be as famous as a rock star, and her views on free speech are a little fuzzy, the below video has nothing to do with her.  [The Volokh Conspiracy]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that you’d probably like better if Eddie Vedder wrote them:

• Disabled lawyer Hippocrate Mertsaris has been charged with sexual abuse and sexual harassment for slapping a Taxi and Limousine Commission judge’s ass and grabbing her inner thigh.  There’s no denial that it happened.  But Mertsaris’s defense?  Spastic movements resulting from his cerebral palsy.  [New York Daily News]

• Beau Biden, the 41-year-old Attorney General of Deleware and son of Vice President Joe Biden, suffered a mild stroke on Tuesday and remains in the hospital.  A reminder that no young attorney is immune to stroking out.  [CBS News]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. BL1Y

    May 13, 2010 at 6:22 am

    Rob Paravonian already did this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM

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