Bitter News, 5-19-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that bid a fond farewell to Saturday Night Live’s Don Pardo:

• Northwestern!  Gimme two!  Two years to get a JD, that is.  The inaugural class of Northwestern law school’s accelerated program (AJD) got kicked off yesterday.  “[T]he AJD program allows students with resumes that already sing to interrupt their careers for only two years, rather than three, in a detour designed to ramp up their considerable capabilities.” Take Armand Musey, for example.  The tune of his resume is that he has put his flag at the top of the world’s seven summits and ladder-climbed Wall Street.  You can’t keep a man like Musey down for three years.  It’s all about the reentry.  [Northwestern.edu]

• Brooklyn Law School is dealing with a little “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” Administrators shoulda double-checked the figures before submitting them to U.S. News.  It woulda resulted in a lower ranking based on accurate numbers, but it also woulda allowed its part-time program to be ranked, which is probably pretty strong.  And that “completely inadvertent” oversight coulda kept Brooklyn out of the headlines and seeming like a scheming bunch of ranking gamers.  [ABA Journal]

• Remember how we suggested that when life gives to BigLaw lemons to consider making Plaintiff Lawyer lemonade?  Fight the sigma. Here’s a few inspirations on how to consider marketing your new personal-injury enterprise.  And (deceptive) marketing is important.  Just ask the “chocolate finger” or the tobacco industry[Esquire]

• Going to an Ivy League law school makes you a decorated general in Obama’s cabinet.  [San Francisco Chronicle]

• A paralegal was caught robbing Peter to pay Paul.  “Peter” being High Swartz law firm, where she most-recently worked and just got caught stealing over $100,000.  And “Paul” being the firm she worked for before High Swartz, where she owed restitution for the $285,000 she stole there.  [Philly.com]

• It’s a battle of the new environmental law clinics: UC Irvine v. Wayne State. Chemerinsky should consider a gratis Prius to go along with free tuition for the leg up.  [Model D | UCI.edu]

• Stages of Failure:

Stage 1: Hubris Born of Success

Stage 2: Undisciplined Pursuit of More

Stage 3: Denial of Risk and Peril

Stage 4: Grasping for Salvation

Stage 5: Capitulation to Irrelevance or Death

You can’t come back from Stage 5, but you can come back from Stage 4.  So let’s go to the BigLaw checklist: 1) Hubris?  Youbetcha; 2) Tendency to overreach? Duh; 3) Risk?  Lawyers refuse risk; 4) Have you read Layoff Tracker? Grasp away; 5) I present you Wolf Block.  Read the tombstones.  [WiredGC]

• Kagen.  Wood.  Sotomayor.  Who’s the worst judicial activist?  The vote and mud throwing is up to you.  [obamasfrontrunners.com]

• Man who spends his time literally kicking puppies out in the woods realizes it’s sort of a big deal to people inside the walls of humane civilization.  Yeah, you might want to lawyer up on this one.  He will soon realize he would have been better off kicking his wife instead.  [San Jose Mercury News]

• The Build-A-Bear company has been fined by the U.S. Department of Labor for violating child labor laws.  Ironically enough, the violations are not in reference to the kids that are forced to do all the toy manufacturing themselves by “building-a-bear” in a crowded mall while being prodded by stage moms.  [bizjournals.com]

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2 Comments

  1. Steve

    May 19, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    UCI is pretty cool.

  2. Anonymous

    May 20, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    oh busey. so strong. what happened?

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