Bitter News, 5-20-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as efficient as monorchism—right, Lance?:

• Craigslist is finally growing a “brilliant” pair and standing up for free speech and the erotic love pursuits of lawyers looking for a “Fun, Smart, Sexy Girl – – Who Happens To Like Anal?” everywhere.  The site and South Carolina Attorney General Henry McMaster clearly have a “missed connection.” Craigslist filed a lawsuit in a not-so-“casual encounter” to protect itself against McMaster, who threatened to sue Craigslist execs for promoting prostitution in his state—even though the company already agreed to screen adult ads. Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster said, “Legal experts agree that the charges threatened represent an unconstitutional prior restraint on free speech, and are clearly barred by federal law.” [ChannelWeb | Gawker]

• Remember the glory days of dealing with legal problems in isolation? Fagetaboutit.  You’ll need your lawyer hat and manager strap-on to succeed in law now—because the Big Firm fever isn’t being prescribed more cowbell to make PPP surge.  It’s calling for more b-school and a better first impression. Certainly nothing that a class in social networking (redundant!) with Ernie the Attorney can’t fix.  [Law And More]

• So it looks like you’re going to be needing an M.B.A then.  J.D./M.B.A. programs concerned about their sagging bottom lines are responding to dwindling enrollment in the traditionally eight-semester, four-year programs by playing a game of “Name That Tune” to lure in customers, ahem, students. The University of Pennsylvania will now offer a “more attractive” seven-semesters-squeezed-into-three-years program, including one summer semester between the first two years.  Meanwhile Yale is saying they can Name That Degree in three years without any summer coursework—the same as a traditional pass/fail JD degree.  (People do actually go to class at Yale, correct? They don’t just hang on the quad and smoke pipes with professors all day, right?) [The Wall Street Journal]

• The not-his-wife woman facing charges after getting caught nude and engaged in a sex act outside a condominium complex with an Oakland County commissioner found an attorney. Leon Weiss will represent Sheila Grogan, who is expected to be on her back back in court June 1.  Apparently it was a ménage à trios—alcohol (shockingly) played a role. [Detroit Free Press]

• Send those lawyers back to this side of the pond where the can insider trade where they belong.  [Bloomberg]

• Real men work in a tweed jacket, add a subtle pop and become total label whores when it comes to their wardrobes all the freakin’ time.  In fact, two lawyers and a paralegal are vying for Esquire’s Best Dressed Real Man and have that “hint of European flair and modern casual elegance” that’s so important to the practice of law.  Why can’t you keep up?  [ABA Journal]

• Chevys and Jeeps make up the number one cars that meet Lemon Law requirements.  How can we let American quality like that go out of business?  If you buy one on clearance now, the firm of (not Jimmy) Kimmel & (not Sarah) Silverman are still together and will get you through that questionable decision.  [Lemon Law Blog]

• All the drama of law firms is coming back to TV.  Hoping to recapture the long-ago days of TV lawyers ruling TV Guide with former-hit shows like LA Law, Ally McBeal and Law & Order (oh, wait, that show’s still on), the networks have announced new shows to their fall lineups that will accurately depict most of your lives as attractive, sexual, quirky, high-stakes attorneys.  CBS will host The Good Wife, starring “Julianna Margulies in a legal drama about a steadfast wife and mother who boldly returns to work as a lawyer when her husband is imprisoned for a high-profile political scandal.” And ABC will bring you The Deep End about the zany antics (and, I’m sure, layoff depression) of top recruits at an LA firm.  It will be like looking in a mirror.  I promise.  [The New York Times]

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3 Comments

  1. Steve

    May 20, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    I like how this site hasn’t mentioned the Quinn email fiasco.  Maybe it’s because ATL broke the story and this site wouldn’t dare link to its competitor.

  2. Lady lawyer

    May 20, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    Hey Steve, do you mean ATL (Aero Tec Labs)

    specializing in flexible composite)?  Every law man needs to be flexible yet strong.  Notice I didn’t mention lady lawyers who can get the job done.

  3. Steve

    May 21, 2009 at 4:58 am

    Funny, but no.  Above the Law broke a great story about a first-year going nuts about the Redskins.  It’s great fodder for a site like this but Bitter Lawyer won’t cover it, since its competitor broke the news and is pretty much the closest thing to source material on it.  Lame on the part of this site.

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