Bitter News, 5-27-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as transformative as Willie Nelson sans braids:

• “A sexy matchmaker fired back today at the lonelyheart lawyer who sued her after paying $10,000 to be paired up with dreamgirls he says were duds.  ‘There’s only so much I can do,’” Amy Laurent, the head of high-end dating service Amy Laurent International and HuffPo blogger, said.  Nothing makes the attorney collective look more romantically hopeless than reading that “[John Henri] Friedland filed the breach of contract suit this week, charging that all he got for $10,000 from the high-end matchmaker were dates that weren’t up to snuff, with women who were either taken or unwilling to date someone of his background.” In other news, a new survey shows that more virgins are insisting on condom use for their first time.  So there’s no need to be scurrred.  [New York Daily News]

• A third-year Illinois law student accused of traveling to Utah for sex and carrying on a 15-month relationship with a 15-year-old girl was arrested and charged with three felony counts of child sex abuse.  Which is so not helping with that whole matter of making lawyers look desirable and capable of healthy, fulfilling relationships.  (Video below.) [KSL.com]

News continued below video.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

• Scalia is hot for her lack of experience stroking a gavel, and twentysomethings and Gen-Yers don’t give a flip about with whom she lays down, so all in all, Elena Kagan is a modern-day Supreme Court win/win.  [The Atlantic]

• Guess who’s patting themselves on the back?  Yep, BigLaw.  “Farming out deferred associates to work in public interest organizations during the economic downturn was a smashing success” [The Am Law Daily]

• But God doesn’t give to BigLaw with both hands.  So now they can try to spin a new study that again tries to suss out exactly how major law firms bill their clients.  “A new analysis of more than $4 billion in law firm billings has provided more ammunition for corporate counsel seeking to contain legal costs.  More than three out of every four law firms bill different hourly rates to different clients for similar work, the study reports.  And “rack rates” in some cases quintupled actual rates billed by law firm partners to major corporate customers.” [Law Forward]

• Current and former governors showing off their defensive sides:

—Gov. Jan Brewer created a legal defense fund for Arizona’s crackdown on illegal immigration.  [AP]

—Former Gov. Blago’s lawyers allege a U.S. district judge mishandled jury selection.  [Chicago Tribune]

• Kenneth Starr has been charged in an alleged Ponzi scheme.  No, sorry, not the lawyer Ken Starr.  This one is “a money manager for celebrities such as director Martin Scorsese, actress Uma Thurman and photographer Annie Leibovitz” who has been managing more than $700 million in assets. 

[WSJ Law Blog]

• The University of Massachusetts School of Law may be the newest and only public law school in Massachusetts, but it’s still an old TTT law school—and this is still a shitty, shitty legal job market.  So explain why they received more than 400 applications, blowing the lid off their enrollment expectations.  Anyone?  [Boston Herald]

• Unable to sue the pants off of anyone, “[a] former Washington, D.C., administrative law judge who lost that job after unsuccessfully suing a dry cleaners for millions over a lost pair of pants has now had his lawsuit protesting his firing dismissed by the U.S. Court of Appeals.” [ABA Journal]

• I think we’re all “missing her connection” here: A woman is suing United Airlines for not waking her up when her flight from Washington, DC to Philadelphia landed around midnight.  She fell asleep mid-flight and didn’t wake up til 4:00 AM that morning still on the plane.  I did the same thing once on “the Tube” during a London pub crawl—and it actually made me cooler and more socially accepted.  But she’s not so interested in a great cocktail party story.  She’s now filing a lawsuit for false imprisonment, emotional distress and negligence.  (Video below.) [Yahoo! News]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as transformative as Willie Nelson sans braids:

• “A sexy matchmaker fired back today at the lonelyheart lawyer who sued her after paying $10,000 to be paired up with dreamgirls he says were duds.  ‘There’s only so much I can do,’” Amy Laurent, the head of high-end dating service Amy Laurent International and HuffPo blogger, said.  Nothing makes the attorney collective look more romantically hopeless than reading that “[John Henri] Friedland filed the breach of contract suit this week, charging that all he got for $10,000 from the high-end matchmaker were dates that weren’t up to snuff, with women who were either taken or unwilling to date someone of his background.” In other news, a new survey shows that more virgins are insisting on condom use for their first time.  So there’s no need to be scurrred.  [New York Daily News]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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